Decide that your life’s direction comes from your inner resources, not external circumstances, recognizing your internal power cannot be taken away.
Focus on your response to events rather than the events themselves, as your reaction determines your experience and outcome.
Practice forgiveness as an act of self-liberation, releasing yourself from the burden of holding onto past grievances and handing over judgment to a higher power.
Recognize that self-imposed mental prisons are within your control, and you hold the key to your own liberation.
Examine self-imposed mental prisons and avoid a victim’s mentality, which provides secondary gains by absolving responsibility and perpetuating a victim-victimizer dynamic.
Understand that your thoughts shape your reality, so cultivate positive thinking to create desired outcomes.
Take personal responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, rather than assigning blame to others.
Fully feel your emotions to heal, especially grief, which should not be medicated, minimized, or trivialized as it’s a natural response to loss.
Reframe difficulties by using language that emphasizes challenges and transitions instead of problems and crises, fostering a more positive and proactive outlook.
Eliminate “I can’t” from your vocabulary, recognizing it equates to helplessness, and replace it with “I can” to empower your mindset and actions.
Cultivate the ability to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively by taking a deep breath, recognizing that external circumstances are often beyond your control.
When triggered by friction or unease, turn inward to identify what emotions or unresolved issues are being brought up within you, taking responsibility for your own reactions rather than blaming others.
When someone triggers you, recognize it as an opportunity to address your own unfinished emotional business, and respond with curiosity (“tell me more”) rather than reaction.
Choose to release hatred, understanding it harms you, and adopt a survivor’s mindset to avoid being a victim of circumstances.
Replace the word “overcome” with “come to terms with” when discussing trauma, acknowledging that parts of you may remain affected, fostering a realistic approach to healing.
Recognize that all suffering is valid and there is no hierarchy in trauma, preventing guilt or minimization of personal pain when comparing it to others.
Acknowledge suffering as a natural part of life, invite triggered feelings in to experience them, but consciously decide how long you will hold onto them.
Recognize that the need to prove something to others indicates a lack of inner freedom; true liberation comes from letting go of this need.
Cultivate curiosity about what will happen next in life, using it as a driving force to survive and discover inner strength.
Actively seek and recognize the choices available to you in any situation, as increasing your perceived options diminishes feelings of victimhood.
Practice emotional expression as an antidote to depression, understanding that suppressed emotions can lead to illness, while expressed emotions promote healing.
Allow yourself to fully experience and express grief and rage without suppressing them, as genuine healing requires processing these difficult emotions.
Allow yourself to feel rage as part of healing, but be mindful not to get stuck or addicted to chronic anger.
Explore underlying fears beneath anger, write them down, and understand that fears are learned and can be unlearned through positive reinforcement.
Release the need for revenge, as holding onto vengeful feelings prevents spiritual freedom and the liberation that comes with forgiveness.
Adopt a solution-oriented mindset, focusing on finding answers rather than dwelling on problems.
Use the mantra “Yes, I am. Yes, I can. Yes, I will.” as a powerful affirmation to inspire confidence and action, especially when struggling.
Embrace and invite difficult feelings in, and reframe life’s difficulties as temporary transitions and challenges rather than crises or problems.
Make a conscious decision about what behaviors to stop, start, or continue to facilitate personal growth and change.
Actively seek to stretch your comfort zone, as change requires replacing old patterns with new ones for growth.
Take stock of your life to identify what is no longer working, and be willing to risk doing something new despite the fear of the unknown, as change is synonymous with growth.
Prioritize and cultivate brain power, as it is the best form of strength, and avoid smoking pot because it hinders natural brain development.
Strive to be awake and present in every moment, valuing both intellectual and emotional intelligence derived from life experiences.
Assess your current position, define a clear goal for where you want to be, and ensure your focus and actions are aligned with achieving that goal.
Reframe loss by viewing the time spent with a loved one as a gift to be celebrated, shifting perspective from loss to gratitude.
Fathers should be mindful of their behavior, as children learn more from observing actions than from listening to words.
Demonstrate love for children by showing love and respect for their mother, understanding that love is expressed through actions, not just feelings.
Prioritize self-parenting and self-care to become a better parent to your children.
Engage in honest self-reflection to align your words with your actions, clearing out past issues like guilt, shame, and anger.
Earn respect by committing to actions that inspire others to emulate you, rather than just expressing feelings.
Seek ways to empower each other by leveraging individual differences, fostering cooperation over competition or domination.
Transform negative emotions like hatred into empathy or pity for those who inflict suffering, recognizing their own forms of imprisonment.
Maintain your inner spirit and sense of self, even when outwardly conforming to difficult external demands.
Use future-oriented positive visualization or goals to sustain hope and motivation through difficult present circumstances.
Practice daily self-love by affirming “I love me” in the mirror, recognizing it as self-care, and consciously create your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors for the day.
Before speaking, apply the “kind, important, necessary” filter; if it doesn’t meet these criteria, refrain from saying it.
Learn to comfortably share silence with your partner, fostering connection without the need for constant conversation.
Avoid asking superficial questions like “How are you?” if you’re not prepared to truly listen to the answer, as people often give generic responses.
Practice compassionate listening, even with those who express hateful views, and consciously choose not to react impulsively.
Adopt the mindset that challenging or obnoxious individuals can serve as valuable teachers, offering opportunities for personal growth and understanding.
Acknowledge and examine the full spectrum of human potential within yourself, including negative biases, to facilitate a transformative change in your thinking and life.
When listening, move beyond intellectual understanding to connect with emotions by using phrases like “sounds like you’re [feeling word]” to validate others’ experiences.
Reframe negative external stimuli as opportunities to practice emotional regulation, consciously choosing to relax or build frustration tolerance rather than reacting.
Avoid labeling yourself or others, as labels can be limiting; instead, focus on personal transformation and growth.
Cultivate critical thinking by questioning authority instead of blindly accepting it, especially for children.
View midlife as a transition, not a crisis, as it’s an opportunity to shed the need for external approval and regain personal power, leading to liberation.
Use others’ resilience as inspiration, believing that if they can navigate their challenges, you can navigate yours, without minimizing your own suffering.
Make peace with parental figures by accepting them as they are and embracing your own identity, seeking to empower each other through differences rather than conformity.
Practice unconditional acceptance in relationships, understanding that true love means embracing someone exactly as they are, without trying to change them.
Eliminate absolutist language like “I always” or “I never” from your vocabulary, as it creates negative self-fulfilling prophecies; instead, use phrases like “up till now” to acknowledge past patterns while opening to new choices.
Be mindful of the words used by yourself and children, questioning absolutist statements and distinguishing between “needs” (essential for survival) and “wants” to foster precise and empowering language.
Cultivate flexibility in your personal rules and expectations, avoiding rigid thinking that can hinder adaptation and growth.
Practice negotiation and compromise in family dynamics, making deals with children to foster mutual understanding and responsibility.
Create a family constitution with agreed-upon rules to foster teamwork and shared responsibility, ensuring everyone understands their role in the family unit.
Implement consequences rather than punishments, clearly linking actions to their natural outcomes, and involve children in understanding these rules.
Involve children in decision-making processes and use assertive discipline, offering choices (“you could”) rather than dictating (“you should”).
Foster a family environment where children feel safe to express all their emotions without fear of judgment, promoting emotional health.
Avoid labeling feelings or behaviors as inherently “right” or “wrong,” “bad” or “good,” to reduce judgment and encourage open expression.
Periodically disconnect from external “noise,” such as social media, to create space for inward reflection and self-discovery.
Identify and write down your personal values, and collaboratively establish shared family values that everyone agrees upon to guide behavior.
Use established family values as a framework for discussing behavior, asking if actions align with agreed-upon principles rather than imposing judgment.
Write down family rules and agreements clearly (e.g., “if X, then Y”) to ensure mutual understanding and avoid misinterpretations.
Foster a spirit of cooperation within the family, prioritizing working together over competition or domination.
Understand child development stages, recognizing that children’s brains are not fully developed until age 25, and tailor communication and expectations accordingly.
Practice acts of kindness and cooperation, as helping others can create a reciprocal network of support that may save you in times of need.
In extreme scarcity, look for alternative resources and make choices, no matter how small, to sustain yourself and maintain your humanity.
Practice self-forgiveness for judging others, recognizing that judgment is a human act and releasing it liberates yourself.
Prioritize and actively pursue joy and passion in your life, recognizing them as essential for spiritual freedom.
Avoid using intimacy as a transactional tool or punishment in relationships, as it is detrimental to healthy dynamics.
In a victim-victimizer dynamic, recognize that it only takes one person to break the cycle and stop the pattern.
Practice boundary setting by identifying whose problem an issue truly is, and gently return responsibility to the rightful owner to avoid becoming an unhelpful rescuer.
Cultivate vulnerability for intimacy and address any low-level chronic anger, as it is a significant barrier to genuine connection.
Avoid acting out of a sense of “should” or obligation in intimate relationships, as it can lead to resentment and guilt.
Actively seek and cultivate non-sexual forms of intimacy in relationships to deepen connection beyond physical acts.
Practice clarifying communication by asking direct questions to ensure mutual understanding and that what is said is what is received, avoiding assumptions.
Prioritize the spousal relationship, ensuring parents are a united front, as this provides a stable foundation that benefits the children.
Avoid spoiling children, as fostering dependency can lead to a lack of inner resilience and an inability to cope when external support is absent.
Regularly assess whether you are merely repeating old patterns (“revolving”) or actively growing and changing (“evolving”).
Embrace the process of shedding old limitations and identities (the “chrysalis”) to achieve personal freedom and transformation.
Reflect on when your childhood effectively ended, especially if you had to take on adult responsibilities early, to understand potential unresolved grief or developmental gaps.
Seek professional help to revisit past traumas, connect with your younger self, and process feelings of powerlessness or having sacrificed your true self, with support.
Shift your focus from self-pity (“why me?”) to proactive problem-solving (“what now?”) when facing challenges.
Counteract negative thoughts or experiences by intentionally listing five positive ones, practicing positive reinforcement.
Cultivate flexibility, cease blaming others, and embrace personal responsibility for your life and actions.
Set clear and healthy boundaries with others, acknowledging and accepting your own limitations and the need for boundaries.