Focus on using body-based methods to soothe your nervous system and calm your mind, recognizing that this approach is more effective than attempting to calm the body solely through mental effort.
Actively distinguish between anxious thoughts in your mind and the physical ‘alarm’ sensation in your body, as recognizing them as separate entities provides a pathway to break the anxiety cycle.
Identify where the feeling of ‘alarm’ (anxiety) resides within your body, as this physical understanding is considered the key to treating anxiety effectively and for good.
When anxiety arises, consciously redirect your attention from overthinking in your mind to locating the physical sensation of the ‘alarm’ within your body, as staying in your head will only worsen the problem.
Once you locate the ‘alarm’ in your body (e.g., solar plexus), place your hand over that area and consciously breathe into it to soothe the sensation.
Actively connect your adult self with your inner child, understanding that the ‘alarm’ is a message from your younger self seeking attention and help, which is crucial for healing the mind-body disconnect that causes anxiety.
Consciously love, accept, and embrace the parts of yourself that you disliked or separated from in childhood, as these rejected aspects are often the root cause of your anxiety and require connection for healing.
Understand that your current problematic behaviors or traits are not who you inherently are, but rather defensive adaptations developed in childhood to survive, which may no longer be serving you.
Utilize the ABC framework for anxiety: A for Awareness of the alarm, B for Body and Breath to connect with it, and C for Compassionate Connection to your younger self, which facilitates deep healing beyond mere coping.
Practice calming techniques, such as focused breathing and body awareness, for at least five minutes daily even when not anxious, to train your autonomic nervous system for relaxation and build resilience for stressful situations.
When anxious, particularly during panic or waking at night, ask yourself ‘Am I safe in this moment?’ or state ‘I am safe in this moment,’ and consciously feel that safety, as anxiety cannot exist in the present moment.
When feeling anxious, place your hand over the area of alarm, take two quick sniffs in, hold for 2-3 seconds, then slowly exhale through closed teeth, making a hissing sound, and visualize an overinflated tire deflating. Repeat this three times to calm your system.
Practice conscious physical movement, like yoga or Tai Chi, by matching your breath with your movements, as this reconnects your mind and body, helping to alleviate anxiety and bring you out of your head.
Engage in activities like chanting or singing that produce vibration in your voice box and larynx, as this stimulates and calms the vagus nerve, promoting a ‘rest and digest’ state.
Sit down, feel grounded in your chair, take a deep breath, and then make a prolonged ‘vu’ sound, feeling the vibration in your throat and allowing it to deepen, to stimulate the vagus nerve and signal safety to your brain.
When feeling overwhelmed or struggling, cross your hands over your midline and gently rub your cheeks, as this simple action helps bring you into the present moment for clearer decision-making.
Prioritize regulating your body first through practices like breathing techniques, as this helps to shut off stress hormones and restore rational thinking by bringing your prefrontal cortex back online.
In a relaxed, semi-meditative state, visualize a stressful event and then scan your body to identify where the ‘alarm’ manifests, noting its specific qualities like temperature, size, color, and texture.
Reflect on past experiences related to the ‘ALARM’ acronym (Abuse, Loss, Abandonment/Rejection, Mature too early) to identify potential childhood root causes of the physical alarm stored in your body that fuels anxious thoughts.
For past traumas, find a picture of your younger self before the event, connect with that version, and then converse with your post-trauma younger self, reassuring them that ‘it’s okay, we’re safe,’ leveraging the amygdala’s timelessness to heal past emotional responses.
Recall a peak positive emotional memory, identify its physical sensation, then consciously ‘pendulate’ your awareness between the physical ‘alarm’ sensation and this positive feeling, which weakens the alarm’s negative impact by showing it isn’t your whole experience.
Cultivate acute awareness of subtle physical sensations or ‘pre-alarm’ signals that precede full-blown anxiety, as recognizing these early indicators allows for conscious intervention before the alarm becomes overwhelming and difficult to manage.
Actively learn to tolerate and trust feelings of safety and calm, particularly if your past experiences taught you that calm was a precursor to distress, as embracing these feelings is essential for true healing.
Reframe past behaviors or coping mechanisms, such as early sexual activity, not as personal failings but as adaptive responses to unmet needs in your family of origin, to release guilt and foster self-acceptance.
Actively connect with your children by showing lots of facial expressions, providing ample physical touch, and frequently saying ‘I love you,’ to help mature their social engagement system and build self-soothing capabilities.
Place a hand over your child’s heart and another on their back, staying present, and verbally affirm your love and presence to them, which builds a profound sense of safety and connection.
Consciously use touch with children, particularly involving their hands and face, as this stimulates the somatosensory cortex, soothes them, and helps build their social engagement system.
When parting ways with children or loved ones, always ‘bridge’ to the next connection by mentioning a specific, positive activity you look forward to doing together, fostering emotional resonance and a sense of continuity.
Consistently affirm to children, especially at bedtime, ‘You’re happy, you’re safe, you’re loved,’ and encourage them to repeat it, to instill a deep sense of safety and security.
When affirming love and safety to children, vary the order of your words, incorporate physical touch like rubbing their back, and maintain eye contact to ensure the message deeply resonates with their nervous system.
Ensure children consistently feel loved, protected, seen, and heard, as this foundational security builds significant capacity and resilience in their nervous system, helping them manage stress effectively in adulthood.
During conflicts with your partner, visualize them as their younger self to foster compassion and de-escalate the argument, recognizing that you may be engaging with their unresolved childhood pain rather than their adult self.
When you find yourself in a conditioned emotional body state, physically interrupt that posture or sensation, as this can break the emotional ‘spell’ and open you up to new possibilities and responses.