View happiness as an active process and a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened over time, rather than a passive state dependent on external circumstances. This approach allows you to actively engage with and improve your happiness.
Instead of directly pursuing happiness, focus on strengthening its three core ingredients: contentment, control, and alignment. Actively working on these areas will lead to increased happiness as a side effect.
Create an intentional life by consciously deciding what you want and taking necessary actions, rather than letting external societal definitions dictate your success. This ensures you are playing ‘your own game’ and pursuing what truly makes you happy.
On your deathbed, identify three things you will want to have done, then define three weekly habits in the present that guarantee you achieve that desired ‘happy ending.’ Write these down and keep them visible as a reminder to prioritize what truly matters.
Reduce the number of choices you make daily, especially for trivial matters, to decrease stress, anxiety, and decision fatigue. This increases your sense of control and overall happiness by freeing up cognitive effort for what truly matters.
Select one specific activity (e.g., a 5-minute strength workout) and commit to doing it every single morning for at least 30 days without variation. This eliminates decision-making and builds a consistent habit, increasing your sense of control.
Plan your evening meals for the entire week and repeat the cycle to eliminate daily decisions about cooking and eating. This reduces a major source of daily stress and frees up mental energy.
View moments of social friction as opportunities for self-examination, like a ‘social gym,’ to strengthen your core happiness. Instead of reacting negatively, use these moments to understand your internal triggers and reactions.
For one week, dedicate 5-10 minutes daily to journal about a moment of social friction. Identify what triggered you, the underlying reason, the emotion it evoked, and what it taught you about yourself. Then, rewrite the situation from a ‘happiness story’ perspective, reframing it to gain a sense of control and compassion for others.
Recognize that most life events are neutral, and their impact on you is determined by the perspective you choose to take. Adopting this belief empowers you to create your own reality and maintain control over your emotional state.
Adopt the mindset that nothing is inherently offensive; rather, your reaction stems from something activated within you. By choosing to interpret situations as neutral, you gain freedom and control over your emotional responses.
Understand that every situation has multiple valid perspectives, not just your own. Recognizing this can change your life by freeing you from being a ‘prisoner to the world around us.’
Actively engage in hobbies, passions, sports, or music a few times a week, as these activities are known to improve health, happiness, and life satisfaction. If unsure where to start, recall activities you enjoyed as a child.
Intentionally schedule time in your diary a few times a week for activities you genuinely love and do for yourself, not for external validation. This helps combat stress and burnout by fostering contentment.
Regularly participate in activities that induce a ‘flow state,’ where you are fully immersed and present in the moment. This increases well-being, life satisfaction, and helps you feel more content and in control.
Keep a running list of films and documentaries you want to watch in a notes app to avoid decision paralysis when choosing entertainment. This streamlines the process and reduces stress associated with too many options.
Understand what your core values are, as this is a fundamental part of deep happiness and aligning your external actions with your inner self. The book offers practical exercises to help you do this.