Focus on controlling your response to external events and other people, as these are the only things truly within your power, rather than trying to control the world around you.
Strive to live a life guided by the four Stoic virtues: courage, justice, temperance (moderation), and wisdom, as these form the essence of a good life.
Adopt the Stoic view that time passed is ‘dead time’ and you are ‘dying all the time’; this fosters urgency and intentionality in how you spend your finite time, as every second is unrecoverable.
Regularly ask yourself if you are afraid of death because you won’t be able to continue your current activities, to assess and improve the quality of your present existence.
Develop a clear understanding of what ’enough’ means for you, allowing you to appreciate what you have and perform from a place of fullness rather than constant craving or dissatisfaction.
Distinguish between healthy confidence and destructive ego, recognizing ego as tying your identity and self-worth to external results, status, or comparisons with others.
Audit your internal state for paranoia, the feeling that people are ‘out to get you’ or ‘holding you back,’ as this is often a sign of ego at play.
Prioritize seeking the truth over merely being ‘right,’ especially in disagreements, as being more interested in winning an argument than understanding is a strong indicator of ego.
Cultivate humility by embracing a student mindset, recognizing that true mastery is a continuous learning process and you cannot learn what you think you already know.
Recognize that certainty is the enemy; strive for a softer, more balanced, and nuanced tone in your beliefs and communication, as certainty is often what you regret in retrospect.
Actively find ways to access stillness within the demands of your normal, real-world life, rather than relying on temporary retreats that don’t address underlying chaos.
Avoid committing to more than you can conceivably handle, as overactivity and insatiable demands are significant obstacles to achieving stillness.
Reduce both internal (mental chatter) and external (environmental) unnecessary noise in your life to create space for stillness.
Break bad habits and establish positive routines and limits, as a lack of structure is a major obstacle to stillness.
Do not sleep with your phone in the room; keep it in another room to avoid immediate morning distractions and start your day proactively.
Gradually extend the time you go without checking your phone in the morning to prevent starting your day reactively and allow for focused, intentional activity.
Strive to ‘be using the phone rather than be used by the phone,’ ensuring your interaction with technology is deliberate and serves your purpose, not the device’s.
Structure your morning to prioritize your main tasks or deep work before engaging with reactive communications like email, to ensure important work gets done without distraction.
Practice sitting quietly alone, as many problems stem from an inability to do so, and much of our activity is driven by an avoidance of solitude.
Be vigilant about setting boundaries against subtle, small asks, as their cumulative effect can be as disruptive to your time and focus as larger, more obvious demands.
Embrace the inherent stillness of simply ‘being’ with your children, allowing for unstructured, simple activities like playing with dirt, rather than constantly ‘doing’ or orchestrating events.
Reflect on your ‘perfect days’ (e.g., a relaxing Saturday) and intentionally make deliberate choices and compromises to design your life to incorporate more of those elements.
Make financial choices, such as buying a house you can easily afford, that support your desired lifestyle and presence, rather than creating obligations that force you away from it.
Practice saying no to opportunities that, while potentially appealing or prestigious, do not align with your desired lifestyle or priorities, to protect your time and focus.
Actively reset your life to a desired ’normal’ after intense periods (e.g., a book launch), as things won’t automatically return to normal; you have to make it happen.
Incorporate daily low-impact walks, primarily for mental and reflective benefits, intentionally bringing your attention back to the present sensory experience if your mind wanders.
Engage in regular journaling as a philosophical practice for self-reflection, clarity, and processing thoughts, similar to how Stoics used it.
Develop hobbies that are distinct from your work, not focused on winning or effort-based outcomes, and are restorative, to provide balance and prevent burnout.
Resist the urge to over-optimize all aspects of your life, allowing for unstructured downtime and ‘just doing nothing’ to foster genuine rest and presence.
View aging and dying well as a natural culmination of living by sound principles throughout life, rather than clinging to past roles or achievements out of compulsion.
Study history, such as the Cuban Missile Crisis, to understand the potential for unintended consequences and to approach complex problems with deliberation and consultation.
Actively use time as a tool for deliberation and problem-solving, rather than passively letting it pass or using it as a ‘couch’ for procrastination.
Be decisive about your desired outcomes but remain flexible and open to various methods of achieving them, understanding that there are many paths to a goal.
Be wary of making excuses for anger, as it is rarely productive; reflect on past instances to realize its lack of positive outcomes.
Differentiate between constructive moral outrage (seeking change for wrongs) and destructive temper (uncontrolled emotional reaction), ensuring your actions are not merely ‘jerked around’ by reactions.
Pursue justice or take action from a calm, calculated place, not out of immediate anger, to avoid self-inflicted harm or irrational decisions.
Observe the immaturity and ineffectiveness of anger in others to gain perspective on your own potential for it and to avoid succumbing to similar reactions.
Use self-observation, such as looking in a mirror when angry, to confront the unpleasant reality of your own anger and motivate yourself to change.
Avoid rigid adherence to principles that prevent necessary compromise, as an inability to make things work in less-than-perfect scenarios can lead to worse outcomes.
For creative work, find the intersection of what you can’t stop thinking about and what people can’t stop saying they need, as this overlap creates powerful results.
Find ways to adapt and deliver your ideas to people who are not initially interested in your topic, rather than only speaking to those already engaged.
De-risk creative projects by modeling them on timeless stories or concepts with proven endurance, rather than solely relying on entirely new ideas.
Avoid living your life as if performing for an imaginary audience, as this detracts from actually living in the moment and can lead to an egotistical existence.
Be aware that you might be suffering unknowingly, even if accustomed to it, and actively seek to identify and address sources of misery in your life.
Question the cost of pursuing external validation like posthumous fame on your present happiness and quality of life, as you won’t be around to appreciate it.