Shift your definition of success from external, competitive achievements to internal measures of happiness and fulfillment, recognizing that societal definitions of success can be fleeting and may not align with personal well-being.
Be willing to let go of societal values and external projections of success (e.g., youth, thinness, beauty, material possessions) that are often profitable illusions, and instead focus on internal self-reflection and changing your relationship with yourself and the world.
Recognize and prioritize the importance of strong relationships with family and friends, as a lack of social connection can exacerbate mental health challenges and lead to feelings of isolation.
Develop a balanced life with diverse interests and strong friendships outside of your primary pursuit, as relying on one identity can lead to significant challenges when that pursuit ends.
Recognize and accept that you cannot control everything, especially in high-stakes situations, despite the natural tendency to believe you can prevent all negative outcomes.
Understand that even peak achievements are temporary moments that pass, and relying solely on them for identity or proof of worth leads to a constant need for new validation.
Understand that achieving ‘best in the world’ status often requires sacrificing emotional well-being, social connections, and other aspects of a well-rounded life; you may need to choose between peak performance and holistic human functioning.
Break the habit of always projecting strength and self-reliance; learn to ask for help and share vulnerabilities, as constant self-blame and suppression can be detrimental.
Seek a balance between actively making life happen and allowing for serendipity and unexpected opportunities, recognizing that not everything can be controlled.
Reflect on what you genuinely want to do versus what you believe will impress others, aligning your actions with your ’eulogy’ values rather than just your ‘resume’.
Explore practices like meditation and studying philosophical texts to gain a broader perspective on life, counteracting the tendency to be singularly absorbed in immediate concerns.
Do not set impossible standards for yourself, as defining success too narrowly (e.g., only first place is acceptable) creates a small margin for feeling successful and leads to fleeting satisfaction.
Talk openly about mental health issues to reduce stigma, as suppressing these struggles, especially as an athlete, can undermine performance and well-being.
Shift your perspective from rigid expectations (e.g., ‘if I don’t win, I’m a failure’) to a lens of appreciation for the journey and the opportunity, especially as you mature.
After a period of intense, singular focus (like elite athletics), consciously dedicate time to relearn and cultivate normal human functioning, including emotional expression and social connection, which may have been suppressed.
Develop obstinacy and persistence (not accepting failure, showing up repeatedly) for athletic greatness, but recognize that in life, this mindset needs adaptation to avoid rigidity and allow for new paths.
To manage immense pressure and expectations, break down overwhelming tasks into simple, immediate steps, focusing only on what needs to be done in the present moment.
When faced with a physical or mental setback, immediately get back up and resume action without dwelling on the fall.
During a performance, use specific, word-by-word self-guidance to stay focused and execute tasks, especially after a mistake.
During a performance or critical task, quickly block out negative thoughts and implications of mistakes to maintain focus and continue with the task at hand.
Navigate the delicate balance of training harder without pushing yourself to the point of injury, which can set you back.
In competitive environments, project a brave face and conceal weakness, as showing fear can give opponents confidence and undermine your own performance.
Embrace parenthood as an opportunity to shift from a self-centered worldview, reawaken a sense of play, and learn from a child’s fresh perspective on the world, moving beyond rigid expectations and responsibilities.
Expose children to the world through travel and exploration, emphasizing life as an adventure filled with love rather than solely focusing on becoming a product or excelling at one specific thing.
To maintain trust with your audience, avoid advocating for products or services when you are being paid by the company that makes them, as this can undermine credibility.
Only advocate for products or services that you are genuinely enthusiastic about, as it is difficult to speak enthusiastically about something you don’t truly believe in.
Consider a subscriber support model to maintain a simple and honest relationship with your audience, ensuring that value exchange is direct and transparent.
To gain context and a deeper understanding of a discussion about a specific performance, watch the relevant video beforehand.
Listen to David Foster Wallace’s ‘This Is Water’ talk daily for a week, then weekly for three months, and monthly thereafter, to gain perspective on self-worship and meaning.