← The Peter Attia Drive

#241 ‒ Living intentionally, valuing time, prioritizing relationships, and more keys to a rich life | Ric Elias (Part 2)

Feb 6, 2023 1h 22m 26 insights
<p><a href="https://peterattiamd.com/ricelias2/?utm_source=podcast-feed&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=230206-pod-ricelias2&amp;utm_content=230206-pod-ricelias2-podfeed"> View the Show Notes Page for This Episode</a></p> <p><a href="https://peterattiamd.com/subscribe/?utm_source=podcast-feed&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=230206-pod-ricelias2&amp;utm_content=230206-pod-ricelias2-podfeed"> Become a Member to Receive Exclusive Content</a></p> <p><a href="https://peterattiamd.com/newsletter/?utm_source=podcast-feed&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=230206-pod-ricelias2&amp;utm_content=230206-pod-ricelias2-podfeed"> Sign Up to Receive Peter's Weekly Newsletter</a></p> <p>Ric Elias, the founder of Red Ventures and previous guest on The Drive, returns to discuss his evolving insights on time, relationships, parenting, and how to make the most of the gift of life. In this episode, he reflects on the changes he's made since his near-death experience during the crash landing of Flight 1549 on the Hudson River in 2009. Ric reveals many keys to living a rich life, such as aiming for continuous growth, approaching life with true intentionality, and valuing our time in accordance with that. He talks about relationships as the core of a rich life and provides insights on parenting and how we should think about our relationship with our kids as they grow older. Finally, Ric discusses the importance of staying true to yourself, the value in struggle, and finding meaning in helping others.</p> <p><strong>We discuss:</strong></p> <ul type="disc"> <li>Reflecting on the tumultuous last few years and how his experience on Flight 1549 helped him [2:30];</li> <li>Parenting: a game of tug of war that you must ultimately lose [5:00];</li> <li>Importance of friendship and Ric's motivation for his recent "Friends summit" [8:00];</li> <li>The impact of looking forward and focusing on growth on finishing life well [13:00];</li> <li>How our relationships with our children evolve as they grow, and a new perspective on purpose [21:15];</li> <li>Living with complete intention for a rich life, valuing your time, and other life lessons inspired by Ric's near-death experience on Flight 1549 [31:15];</li> <li>How society's relationship with work has changed, the pros and cons of remote and hybrid working environments, and an update on his company "Red Ventures" [37:45];</li> <li>Ric's dedication to philanthropy [44:45];</li> <li>The Golden Door Scholars program aiming to help undocumented students with education and a future career [50:30];</li> <li>Ric's journey in health and longevity [59:15];</li> <li>Letting go of guilt and loving yourself [1:02:30];</li> <li>The relationship between happiness and wealth [1:06:45];</li> <li>Playing the "infinite game," staying true to oneself, and ignoring the negative [1:09:15];</li> <li>Speculating on the meaning of success, the drivers of greatness, and the value of struggle [1:16:00]; and</li> <li>More.</li> </ul> <p>Connect With Peter on <a href="https://twitter.com/PeterAttiaMD">Twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/peterattiamd/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/peterattiamd/">Facebook</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8kGsMa0LygSX9nkBcBH1Sg">YouTube</a></p>
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Self-Love, Eliminate Guilt

Prioritize the relationship with yourself by being kind and loving, actively working to eliminate guilt as a useless emotion, and reframing mistakes as part of being human and learning.

2. Live with True Intentionality

Value time as if it costs money, actively combine energy into desired activities, stop undesired ones, and set weekly intentions to live a richer life, recognizing that everything is fleeting.

3. Prioritize Future-Oriented Thinking

Maintain a forward-looking perspective, continuously planning, learning, and staying engaged in ’the arena’ to keep your spirit young, relevant, and avoid feeling old.

4. Embrace Continuous Growth

Redefine your ‘horsepower’ as you age by focusing on continuous personal growth and learning, accepting that it’s okay to shift roles or positions in life to stay engaged and avoid aging in spirit.

5. Cultivate Deep Friendships

Actively convert ‘deal friends’ into ‘real friends’ by investing significant energy into these relationships, as they are a primary source of learning, growth, and life’s richness.

6. Disregard Stranger Opinions

Actively ignore the opinions of strangers, especially online comments, as they hold no value; instead, prioritize feedback and respect from those who genuinely know and care about you.

7. Play the Infinite Game

Adopt an ‘infinite game’ mindset where the objective is to continuously participate and perpetuate what matters to you, rather than focusing on winning or losing, which can eliminate jealousy.

8. Embrace Process, Not Outcome

Focus on doing what you can in the moment and staying in the process, rather than tying yourself to outcomes, to navigate life’s challenges with more equanimity.

9. Adapt Exercise for Longevity

Transition from high-impact sports prone to injury to new activities that provide good workouts, maintain physical function, and allow for continuous learning, while listening to your body’s signals to avoid injury.

10. Continuously Learn New Skills

Actively seek to learn new skills and hobbies (e.g., tennis, salsa, a new language) to keep your mind engaged, embrace the ‘apprenticeship’ and ‘struggle’ of learning, and prevent feeling ‘old by stuff’.

11. Shield Kids from Unrealistic Pressure

Be mindful of the external pressure placed on children of successful parents, and instead, encourage them to find their own gifts, pursue their passions with love, and become great parents, rather than focusing on outperforming parents financially.

12. Evolve Parental Role

Transition from being a parent to more of a coach, advisor, or friend as children grow, allowing them to make their own decisions and fostering their sense of autonomy.

13. Invest Time Wisely

Categorize your time into wasting, using, and investing, and consciously adjust the ratio to maximize investment in activities that yield long-term dividends, such as deep friendships.

14. Practice Self-Awareness of Thoughts

Be highly aware of your internal dialogue, objectively evaluate if your thoughts are productive or habitual, and actively choose to break negative thought patterns like guilt.

15. Promptly Apologize, Forgive Yourself

When you make a mistake or snap at someone, quickly own it, apologize sincerely, and then forgive yourself without carrying guilt, recognizing it as part of your humanity.

16. Radiate Positive Energy

Cultivate inner peace and positive energy, then freely give it to others through small daily interactions without expecting anything in return, recognizing its widespread impact.

17. Curate Friend Experiences

Intentionally create experiences with loved ones to build memorable moments and foster deeper friendships, even leveraging existing friendships to help others connect and make new friends.

18. Plan for Grandparenting Activities

Envision specific activities you want to do with future grandchildren, both grand and mundane, to motivate health and longevity goals.

19. Broaden Purpose as Kids Mature

Recognize when children become independent adults as an opportunity to broaden your personal purpose beyond direct parenting.

20. Create Lasting Legacy

Seek ways to honor significant people or events through enduring contributions that will outlast your lifetime, such as naming a museum.

21. Define Your Own Race

Do not equate wealth with happiness, as they are uncoupled; instead, define your own ‘race’ in life, focusing on personal satisfaction and purpose rather than societal expectations of wealth.

22. Embrace Struggle for Resilience

Value and seek out experiences of struggle and adversity, as they teach resilience, the ability to be coached, and how to navigate life’s inevitable challenges, which can be more beneficial than constant greatness.

23. Prioritize In-Person Apprenticeship

For young professionals (ages 20-30), seek immersive in-person work environments that provide tutoring, coaching, and experiential learning to build depth and intuition, which remote work may hinder.

24. Leverage Philanthropy for High-Risk Pilots

Use philanthropic funds to take financial risks on pilot programs and proofs of principle that governments cannot, creating roadmaps for scalable solutions to systemic issues.

25. Train for Specific Jobs

Address workforce skill gaps by starting with identified job needs and then training individuals directly for those jobs, rather than providing general education and hoping for employment.

26. Appreciate Early Parenthood Later

If possible, embrace parenthood later in life to potentially have greater maturity and appreciation for the early stages of raising children.