Engender compassion for yourself to overcome shame and hidden struggles, as this is a crucial step before seeking help and addressing underlying trauma.
Actively fight against silent struggle by being vulnerable and seeking help, as the inability to express oneself can be profoundly draining and harmful.
Recognize that an obsession with living longer is meaningless without happiness, as misery is often self-imposed and can be a significant ‘disease of civilization’.
If you suspect your pain or actions are driven by early life trauma, contact facilities like The Bridge to Recovery for an intake interview, especially if standard therapy isn’t enough.
Pay close attention to your inner dialogue, as negative self-talk can be profoundly damaging. Consider psychotherapy for better self-understanding and connection, as ’every damn human on the planet should have psychotherapy'.
Engage in environments that foster vulnerability, such as 12-step meetings, as this shared human experience is a powerful antidote to shame and a beginning to healing.
Be aware of how you differentiate yourself from others, as this reflex often stems from a need to escape shame but ultimately leads to loneliness and prevents genuine human connection.
Recognize the fallacy that one person can be everything to another in a relationship. Cultivate a broader set of connections with friends and community to meet diverse emotional needs and avoid unrealistic expectations.
Reflect on and define what truly gives your life meaning beyond endless striving and achievement, as valuing oneself solely by perseverance can become hollow.
Dispel the myth that ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.’ Acknowledge that bad experiences can make us weaker and cause lasting hurt, which must be addressed rather than suppressed.
Recognize that trauma’s effects are often transferred across generations in orthogonal, unexpected ways, not necessarily through the same root cause, making it crucial to understand and address.
Seek out situations where you can listen without needing to be the expert or center of attention, allowing for a sense of shared humanity where your status doesn’t matter.
Understand that helping others is not a false dichotomy with helping oneself; often, the most beneficial actions for others also serve as a search for personal healing and soothing.
To survive and thrive as a society, engage in mutual community support, where everyone helps each other, whether through resources or shared wisdom, fostering a sense of being ‘in it together’.
Advocate for and utilize community support centers that facilitate human connection, mental health education, and basic support, as these are inexpensive yet vital for societal well-being.
Be suspicious of very high levels of achievement as they can often be a defense mechanism, masking underlying vulnerabilities or unresolved issues.
Make an effort to talk more openly and deeply with people close to you, as most individuals have more capacity for open communication than they currently utilize.
Read Albert Camus’ “The Plague” to reflect on the shared human experience of affliction and the universal need for community and mutuality in times of threat.
Explore Catherine Mansfield’s short stories to gain insight into the subtle nuances of human interaction and to identify more deeply with your own humanity.
To alleviate laryngitis, gargle with hot water and crushed baby aspirin, an old-school trick taught by Paul Conti’s grandmother.