← The Peter Attia Drive

#146 - Guy Winch, Ph.D.: Emotional first aid and how to treat psychological injuries

Jan 25, 2021 1h 57m 18 insights
<div> <p><span> Guy Winch is a psychologist, author, and co-host of the Dear Therapist podcast. In this episode, Guy speaks to the commonality of the human condition with relatable stories from his decades of therapy sessions as well as his own experience with incessant rumination in the early days of his private practice. He shares insights on what he sees as an epidemic of rumination that leads to career burnout, the consequences of social comparison heightened by social media, and the psychological impact of not recognizing success. He emphasizes the need for a "psychological medicine cabinet" and provides concrete and practical tools for treating emotional injuries. He concludes with a discussion about the widespread impact of the coronavirus pandemic on emotional health and how we can use experienced psychologists in a time when it's especially needed.</span></p> </div> <div> <div> <p>We discuss:</p> </div> <div> <ul type="disc"> <li>The unique format and impetus for Guy's podcast with Lori Gottlieb (3:00);</li> <li>How Guy pieced together the many different schools of thought in psychology to develop his own unique approach (7:45);</li> <li>The most important component of successful therapy, and why it sometimes makes sense to "break the rules" (19:30);</li> <li>Insights extracted from Guy's own battle with extreme stress and anxiety around finishing his education and starting his private practice (28:15);</li> <li>The epidemic of rumination, burnout, and the inability to psychologically leave work (34:15);</li> <li>Antidotes to incessant rumination, and tips for transitioning from work to home to avoid burnout (41:15);</li> <li>The psychology of complaining: The hidden cost of complaining incorrectly and benefits of learning how and when to complain (52:30);</li> <li>The consequences of social comparison, and the impact of "failure" on emotional health (1:02:15);</li> <li>How Guy helps people who struggle to acknowledge any level of success (1:07:30);</li> <li>Emotional first aid: The importance of a psychological medicine cabinet for treating emotional injuries (1:19:00);</li> <li>The role of therapists in normalizing the discussion of emotional injuries and illuminating the commonality of feelings (1:27:45);</li> <li>The widespread impact of the coronavirus pandemic on emotional health (1:35:15);</li> <li>How to properly use affirmations—a tool for treating psychological injuries (1:42:00);</li> <li>The importance of nuanced language and the stories we tell ourselves (1:47:30);</li> <li>Peter's favorite episode of the Dear Therapist Podcast (1:53:15); and</li> <li>More.</li> </ul> <p>Learn more: <a href="https://peterattiamd.com/">https://peterattiamd.com/</a><br /> <br /> Show notes page for this episode: <a href="https://peterattiamd.com/guywinch">https://peterattiamd.com/guywinch</a><br /> <br /> Subscribe to receive exclusive subscriber-only content: <a href="https://peterattiamd.com/subscribe/">https://peterattiamd.com/subscribe/</a><br /> <br /> Sign up to receive Peter's email newsletter: <a href="https://peterattiamd.com/newsletter/">https://peterattiamd.com/newsletter/</a><br /> <br /> Connect with Peter on <a href="http://Facebook.com/PeterAttiaMD"><u>Faceboo</u></a><u>k</u> | <a href="http://Twitter.com/PeterAttiaMD"><u>Twitter</u></a> | <a href="http://Instagram.com/PeterAttiaMD"><u>Instagram</u></a>.</p> </div> </div>
Actionable Insights

1. Reframe Your Life Narrative

Actively reframe your personal narratives by reorganizing facts and adopting different perspectives to create a more empowering story. While you cannot change facts, you have the choice to alter the narrative you tell yourself, which significantly impacts your emotional well-being and life trajectory.

2. Establish Work-Life Guardrails

Create clear “guardrails” and transition rituals to mentally separate from work at a specific time daily. This involves changing clothes, altering your environment (music, lighting), and actively engaging with family or personal hobbies to purposefully mark out territory for a non-work life.

3. Transform Worry into Problems

Reframe troubling thoughts from mere rumination into concrete problems to be solved. By actively scheduling or planning solutions, you transform unproductive worry into actionable steps, which reduces stress and the urge to ruminate.

4. Engage Non-Work Identities

Actively engage with non-professional aspects of your identity, such as hobbies, sports, or creative pursuits, to create mental space away from work. Giving “stage time” to these meaningful parts of yourself not only enriches your life but also naturally prevents rumination by occupying your mind with absorbing activities.

5. Visualize Past Self’s Joy

To appreciate achievements, use detailed visualization to connect with your past self who was only dreaming of that success. Imagine your present self delivering the news of the achievement to your younger self, allowing you to experience the joy and significance from that earlier, more hopeful perspective.

6. Personalize Affirmations for Belief

When using affirmations, personalize them to be believable, hopeful, and goal-oriented, rather than using generic positive statements. This approach ensures the affirmation resonates internally, making it a useful tool for self-improvement, especially for those with low self-esteem.

7. Prioritize Therapist-Client Rapport

When choosing a therapist, prioritize feeling understood and “gotten” by them, as this rapport is the most active ingredient for effective therapy. Without this fundamental connection, therapeutic progress will be significantly harder.

8. Complain Directly and Effectively

When you have a complaint or an issue in a relationship, voice it directly to the person or entity who can address it, rather than complaining to others who cannot help. Learn to express concerns effectively to achieve the desired result and avoid feeling powerless.

9. Expand Emotional Language

Cultivate a more nuanced emotional vocabulary beyond basic terms like “angry” or “sad” to better understand and articulate your complex feelings. Using precise language helps you identify specific emotions (e.g., frustration, resentment, rage) and their underlying causes, leading to deeper self-awareness and more effective emotional processing.

10. Distinguish Adaptive from Maladaptive Reflection

Distinguish between adaptive problem-solving and maladaptive rumination. Engage in self-reflection that seeks insight, understanding, or solutions, and avoid replaying upsetting thoughts without a constructive purpose, as this only increases stress.

11. Dynamically Adjust Affirmations

Adjust your affirmations daily to match your current emotional reality, even if it means slightly tweaking the wording. This flexibility ensures the affirmation remains believable and supportive, reinforcing growth rather than creating internal conflict on challenging days.

12. Recognize Universal Emotional Responses

Recognize the universality of emotional responses; if you feel a certain way about an event, others would likely feel similarly, even if they don’t express it. This understanding can foster self-compassion and connection by reminding you that your emotional experiences are not unique or abnormal.

13. Allow Others to Celebrate You

If you struggle to celebrate your own successes, allow loved ones to celebrate you, even if it feels like an indulgence. Participating in their celebration can often lead to you getting “swept up” in the moment and connecting with the joy of your achievement from an external perspective.

14. Break Rumination with Concentration

When caught in a rumination loop, engage in a task requiring active concentration for 2-3 minutes. This focused distraction can effectively break the cycle and diminish the initial urge to ruminate.

15. Practice Authenticity and Transparency

Be authentic and transparent in appropriate social interactions, as withholding information can create unnecessary tension or curiosity. Directly answering simple questions can often resolve curiosity quickly and prevent it from becoming a larger issue.

16. Seek Advice with Follow-Up

When consuming advice, prioritize formats that include follow-up on implementation and outcomes. This helps you understand the real-world effectiveness of the advice and learn from others’ experiences.

17. Cultivate Mutual Respect in Collaboration

When collaborating, cultivate mutual respect and assume positive intent from your partner’s direction, even if it differs from your own. This allows for exploration and prevents unnecessary conflict or “panic.”

18. Support Mental Health Education

Mental health professionals should act as “ambassadors” to educate the public about emotional and psychological states. This involves sharing insights and knowledge to combat widespread ignorance and foster a better understanding of human emotional functioning.