Reject false dichotomies, such as ’either life or death,’ and instead embrace ‘both-and’ thinking, allowing you to both strive for a longer, better life and accept the reality of death.
Dare to look at death earlier in life, rather than waiting until it’s too late, to avoid dying more miserably than necessary and to make better life decisions.
Recognize that the finite nature of life is what makes it precious, and confronting mortality can help you truly appreciate what you have.
To achieve a form of ’living forever,’ invest yourself in the world beyond your individual self, so that what you love and contribute continues even after your own death.
Recognize that the time to make crucial investments in your relationships, purpose, and legacy is while you are alive, as final moments are often not conducive to deep conversations or grand gestures.
Realize that if ‘failure is guaranteed’ (i.e., death is inevitable), the only true loss is wasting your time; therefore, take life seriously, say what you need to say, and do what you want to do without fear of failure.
Reflect on whether your fear related to mortality is about the process of dying (which can often be managed with medical support) or being dead (which requires a different kind of contemplation and life response).
When faced with unfixable or unchangeable life events, adopt a ‘palliative care mindset’ by focusing on the ’now what,’ exploring how you see yourself, the words you use, and how to find therapeutic meaning beyond just the physical.
Understand that palliative care focuses on improving quality of life during serious illness, regardless of life expectancy, and is not exclusive to end-of-life; seek it early for support with emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
While some final wishes can be fulfilled, it’s often more important to practice letting go of the many things you won’t get to do, by shifting your perspective to find peace with what is, rather than clinging to what isn’t possible.
Recognize that feeling something, even pain, is generally preferable to feeling nothing; avoid emotional numbness, as it can be a way of dying before actual death, which is a greater tragedy.
Cultivate a different relationship with fear, seeing ‘falling’ or failure as a skill or an opportunity for growth, rather than something to be avoided, which can be liberating.
Actively cultivate a mindset of self-acceptance for your current circumstances and body, as this can significantly reduce regret and second-guessing, fostering peace with ‘what is.’
When facing life-altering injuries or disabilities, don’t aim to ‘get back’ to your old self or ‘overcome’ it; instead, allow yourself to be changed by the experience and integrate it as a part of your ongoing life.
Seek ways to turn your personal challenges or perceived disadvantages into an advantage, especially in your professional life, by using them to foster empathy and connection with others.
Instead of questioning ‘why me?’ during suffering, consider adopting a ‘why not me?’ mindset, which can reduce feelings of self-pity and guilt, especially if you’ve had a privileged life.
Don’t suppress your emotions or try to be ’tough’ in the face of significant loss; allow yourself to cry and grieve, as it can be a magical and relieving experience that releases physical pain.
Make a conscious promise to yourself to avoid getting stuck in a job or life path that leads to misery, even if you’ve invested heavily in it, recognizing that life is short, important, and beautiful.
For those entering healing professions, study humanities or find ways to explore questions of meaning and identity, understanding why life is amazing, horrifying, and difficult to let go of, to avoid becoming a ‘zombie’ clinician.
When choosing a field of study, ensure you genuinely love the subject matter, rather than just pursuing it as a means to an end, to cultivate a deeper passion and intellectual curiosity.
For those with end-of-life anxiety or fear of death, explore the potential of guided psychedelic sessions (e.g., psilocybin, MDMA, ketamine) under proper conditions, as research suggests they can significantly reduce fear and foster a sense of connection and meaning.
Look beyond solely medical solutions for issues of suffering and death; engage with multidisciplinary approaches, community efforts, and personal responsibility to address these universal human experiences.
Advocate for a healthcare system that focuses on the person living with disease, not just the disease itself, by integrating the pursuit of quality of life (palliative care’s mission) into all aspects of healthcare.
For medical professionals and educators, advocate for integrating palliative care principles throughout medical school curricula, recognizing that all patients suffer and die, making these conversations fundamental to all of medicine.
In a polarized world, use the universal experiences of suffering and mortality as a way to find common ground with others, fostering connection and shared understanding across all demographics.
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