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Todd Herman: Unleashing Your Secret Identity

Nov 28, 2023 1h 42m 65 insights
We all inhabit different identities throughout our day. Perhaps we’re entrepreneurs or employees, mothers or fathers, athletes or CEOs. But how can you harness the strengths of these different identities to get the best out of yourself? And can these different identities be used to get through tough times? Todd Herman calls on more than two decades of experience working with top performers on performance, strategy, mindset, and execution to discuss his thoughts on peak performance, the value of patience, the fear that prevents us from performing our best, imposter syndrome, and how he worked with Kobe Bryant to build the legendary alter-ego of The Black Mamba. Herman has worked with elite athletes, peak performers, and entrepreneurial leaders for over 22 years. He helps them achieve their most ambitious goals by becoming more resilient, creative, confident, and courageous. He is also the author of the bestselling book The Alter Ego Effect. -- Want even more? Members get early access, hand-edited transcripts, member-only episodes, and so much more. Learn more here: https://fs.blog/membership/ Every Sunday our Brain Food newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish Our
Actionable Insights

1. Commit to Transform Yourself

Commit fully to your pursuits, as commitment acts as a forcing function for developing new skills and traits, leading to a transformed version of yourself.

2. Define Role-Specific Missions

Define clear missions for each distinct role (e.g., father, CEO) to focus intentions and actions within that specific domain.

3. Design Role-Specific Identities

Intentionally design specific identities or ‘characters’ tailored to help you win in particular important ‘fields of play’ or roles.

4. Disassociate from Ego for Performance

Use disassociation (e.g., through an alter ego) from your current ego and self-narrative to freely access dormant traits and abilities, enhancing performance.

5. Pretend Until You Become

Consistently ‘pretend to be’ the person you aspire to be, adopting their actions and mindset, until you unconsciously become that person.

6. Unleash Creative Imagination

Tap into your creative imagination as a powerful tool to overcome internal resistance and bypass critical thinking barriers, especially when facing fear or ego.

7. Add Meaning for Focus

Enhance focus and discipline by adding deep meaning to your activities, aligning them with your vision so your body somatically understands their purpose.

8. Cultivate Deep Self-Trust

Build foundational self-trust by consistently preparing and planning, which leads to certainty and confidence in high-pressure moments.

9. Engineer Desired Behaviors

Actively design your environment to make desired behaviors your default, thereby maximizing success and performance.

10. Cultivate High-Quality Mentorship

Surround yourself with high-quality mentors and people who carry high-value ideas and philosophies to avoid unnecessary mistakes and open opportunities.

11. Adopt a Decade-Long View

Adopt a ‘decade’ long view for your life and career, allowing for patience and deep mastery rather than feeling rushed by immediate demands.

12. Long-Term Thinking Prevents Derailment

Cultivate long-term thinking, as it naturally prevents short-term behaviors that can derail your progress and lead to suboptimal outcomes.

13. Stay in the Long Game

Remain committed to the ’long game’ in your pursuits to allow for compounding effects and exponential returns, avoiding actions that prematurely end this potential.

14. Integrate Life Domains

Strive for integration across multiple life domains (health, relationships, family, work) rather than over-indexing on one area, to avoid neglecting other crucial parts of your life.

15. Invest in Long Feedback Loops

Recognize that important life domains like parenting have long feedback loops; dedicate consistent effort to them despite the lack of immediate gratification.

16. Integrate Family into Work

Find ways for family members to contribute to your work setup, fostering a sense of participation and reducing distractions, especially when working from home.

17. Honestly Define Your Wants

Be honest with yourself about what you truly want to pursue, as dissatisfaction and inaction often stem from not admitting your genuine desires.

18. Act to Lose Hope’s Excuse

Take action on what you want to pursue, rather than relying solely on hope, as hope can keep you stuck by providing an excuse for inaction.

19. Cultivate Fear of Inaction

Develop a ‘fear of inaction’ to motivate yourself to test your abilities and commit to challenges, rather than staying in a safe, hopeful state.

20. Courage to Start and Adapt

Prioritize the courage to take the first step and figure things out as you go, rather than waiting for courage to guarantee a specific outcome, allowing for continuous course correction.

21. Seek Challenging Situations

Actively seek out and engage in challenging situations, tough tasks, and difficult conversations, as these experiences directly enhance your abilities and self-perception.

22. Master the Basics Intentionally

Master the basics and simple things with intention, rather than constantly adding more, as exceptional execution of a few core skills can lead to peak performance.

23. Embrace the ‘Verb’ of Work

Embrace the ‘verb’ (the work and execution) required to achieve your desired ’noun’ (the outcome), understanding that the process can be challenging.

24. Subtract to Achieve Flow

Subtract, remove, and delete non-essential tasks and projects to simplify your life and enter a ‘flow channel,’ counteracting the tendency to constantly add more.

25. Prioritize High-Impact Work

Regularly ask yourself what is the most important, valuable, and highest-impact thing you could be working on, and prioritize accordingly.

26. Minimize Decision Assumptions

When making decisions, count the number of assumptions involved; choose options with fewer assumptions, as each additional assumption significantly reduces the likelihood of success.

27. Operate from Strength

Strive to operate from a position of strength and plenty, avoiding situations where you are forced into bad decisions by circumstances.

28. Avoid Stupid Mistakes

Prioritize avoiding stupid mistakes over trying to make phenomenally right choices, as minimizing errors is a key driver of success.

29. Reframe Pressure Internally

Reframe ‘pressure’ as an internal, elastic construct rather than an external truth, recognizing that your perception of it can be managed.

30. Develop Flexible Adaptability

Develop mental toughness through flexibility and adaptability, trusting your ability to adjust your plans when faced with unexpected circumstances.

31. Create a Moment Mantra

Develop a personal phrase or mantra to use in high-pressure moments to alleviate tension, get out of your ego, and fully trust your preparation and plan.

32. Incorporate Rituals

Incorporate rituals into your life, especially for transitions into important roles or ‘fields of play,’ as rituals add meaning and intention beyond mere habits or routines.

33. Develop Transition Rituals

Develop specific rituals and triggers to help you transition into a desired identity or ‘character’ when entering an important ‘field of play,’ enhancing performance.

34. Use Enclosed Cognition

Utilize ’enclosed cognition’ by wearing specific attire or using objects that symbolize desired traits to elevate your performance in tasks requiring those qualities.

35. Ritualize with Storytelling

Transform routines and habits into powerful rituals by imbuing them with personal storytelling and meaning, allowing you to disassociate from personal attacks.

36. Practice Multi-Sensory Scripting

Practice multi-sensory ‘scripting’ (writing out) your visualizations, focusing on the process and engaging all senses to make the experience holographic and effective.

37. “Fly on the Wall” Visualization

Engage in ‘fly on the wall visualization’ by imagining respected individuals speaking positively about your performance or character to build self-belief.

38. Own Your Wins and Skills

Combat imposter syndrome by actively owning your wins, developed skills, and past achievements, recognizing your self-efficacy and building confidence.

39. Journal Your Learning Journey

Maintain a journal or record of your life’s learning, skills developed, and wisdom gained in increments, to serve as a reminder of your past resilience.

40. Separate Identity from Labels

Differentiate between labels (like ’entrepreneur’) and underlying traits/abilities (like ’entrepreneurial nature’) to avoid identity crises when external roles change or are lost.

41. Focus on Inherent Traits

When facing identity crises, focus on the inherent skills, attributes, and qualities you possess, as these are portable and can be applied to new domains.

42. Analyze Core Identity Drivers

Analyze your ‘core drivers’ (e.g., culture, religion, gender, race) and question the narratives you tell yourself about what they mean, identifying if they are limiting or empowering.

43. Overcome Fear of Idiocy

Overcome the ‘fear of looking like an idiot,’ especially as you gain more to lose, as this fear often prevents taking risks essential for growth and performance.

44. Embrace Amateur Identity

To fend off complacency, intentionally adopt the identity of an amateur in a new area, starting a new skill or hobby that challenges you in novel ways.

45. Schedule ‘Average’ Performance

Schedule ‘average’ performance in certain areas of your life or work to prevent burnout and allow for a more relaxed, often better, performance.

46. Question Perceived Complacency

Question whether perceived complacency is actual laziness or a natural human system reflex for maintenance, optimization, or readiness.

47. Aim for ‘Smiling Pillows’

Define your personal ‘success’ as creating ‘smiling pillows’ – living in a way that allows you and others to feel good and fulfilled at the end of the day.

48. Avoid Judging Others

Avoid judging others for perceived ‘average’ results, as there are many unseen reasons for their circumstances, and such judgment can be an ego response.

49. Engineer More Luck

Acknowledge the role of luck in your successes and actively seek to ’engineer more of that’ by taking action and creating opportunities for serendipity.

50. Embrace Patience for Outcomes

Practice patience, as a lack of it can lead to poor decisions and make achieving desired outcomes difficult.

51. Patience Isn’t Passivity

Understand that patience is not passive; it can involve hustling and focused energy, but also knowing when to transition to maintenance and thinking time.

52. Adopt a Career Mindset

Adopt a ‘career’ mindset for long-term pursuits, focusing on skill-building and a long-term view rather than impatient, short-term gains.

53. Embody Diverse Archetypes

Strive for wholeness by consciously developing and expressing attributes from various archetypes, rather than being trapped in just a few.

54. Draw Inspiration from Archetypes

When developing a new identity or role, identify mentors or archetypes who embody the desired qualities, and draw inspiration from them.

55. Use Map-Territory for Clarity

Use the ‘map and territory’ analogy to understand that focusing on a specific identity or role distills complex reality, allowing you to see and act on essential elements more clearly.

56. Avoid False Competence

Avoid posturing or faking competencies that are not rooted in truth; instead, focus on genuine skill development.

57. Embrace the Long-Term Process

Focus on the long-term process and your career trajectory, accepting that not every effort will be a success, and adopt a ‘So what?’ attitude towards minor failures.

58. Embrace Identity Malleability

Embrace the malleability of your identity and actively shape your ‘self’ for specific roles, rather than adhering to a fixed, self-limiting idea of who you are.

59. Design Your Environment for Success

Evaluate and design your environment to make success easier, as your environment plays a significant role in your success.

60. Shape Your Performer Identity

Focus on your identity as a performer, as it underpins all your habits, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs, and changing this identity can quickly enhance performance.

61. Intentionally Design Your Identity

Be intentional about the specific ‘who’ (identity) you bring to each ‘field of play’ or role, actively designing it rather than letting external influences define it.

62. Embrace ‘Citizen’ Identity

Embrace a ‘citizen’ identity, recognizing your responsibility to contribute positively to society through small interactions, as these can have long-term impacts.

63. Assess Through Specific Identities

When evaluating yourself or taking personality assessments, consider doing so through the lens of a specific identity to gain clearer, more focused insights.

64. Activate Dormant Traits

Utilize the concept of multiple identities to bring dormant traits, attributes, and qualities to the surface, fostering a more ‘whole’ human being.

65. Believe You’ll Figure It Out

Cultivate a fundamental belief in your ability to ‘figure things out’ and recover from setbacks, knowing you have the capacity to pick yourself up and continue.