Continuously push towards new challenges and goals, understanding that happiness comes from the “rate of change” or growth, not a static state. Resting on laurels leads to unhappiness; consistent striving provides purpose and fosters genuine, lasting happiness beyond temporary material boosts.
Implement a pause before responding to situations, especially when provoked or angry, by using techniques like reciting the alphabet or drafting emails to review later. Immediate reactions are rarely the right ones, and a pause allows for rational, strategic thought, preventing irreversible mistakes.
Avoid publicly announcing your goals or what you plan to do; instead, only share what you have already accomplished. Announcing goals provides “false recognition” and dopamine hits, tricking your brain into thinking the work is done, thus depleting motivation and hindering actual progress.
Take advantage of physical inertia by completing tasks (like washing dishes or getting out of bed) immediately when you are already moving, rather than sitting down first. This prevents the need for motivation to overcome inertia later, reduces mental load, avoids interruptions, and makes life significantly easier by streamlining activities.
Practice controlling your emotional responses and cultivating a calm temperament in minor, everyday situations. This builds the “muscle” for managing emotions, making it possible to maintain control during major, high-stakes challenges.
Engage in a daily “rose, rose, thorn, bud” exercise, sharing two gratitudes, one challenge, and one future anticipation, ideally around the dinner table. This practice helps develop new neural pathways to see the positive, adds perspective, and is scientifically shown to increase happiness and physical health over time.
After learning and reflecting on an idea, condense it into a succinct, actionable “directive” or command for yourself. This process of creating your own directives (like flashcards) is the true moment of learning and helps your future self remember and implement the action, especially for subjects you care deeply about.
Consciously manipulate your perception of reality, especially regarding challenges like exercise distance, to make tasks seem easier. This “self-trickery” changes your mindset, increases self-efficacy, and translates into improved performance and motivation.
Identify and be aware of “passions” (envy, lust, anger, fear, pain, worry) as the underlying cause of most mistakes. These emotional states override rationality, leading to impulsive actions that can’t be undone.
Practice “observing ego” by monitoring your reactions to impulses and affronts, and engage in daily journaling to reflect on your emotional responses. Journaling and self-observation help clarify thinking, make sense of experiences, and create a pause to allow reason to take control of emotions, preventing debilitating reactions.
Actively seek and appreciate tiny pleasurable moments daily, recognizing the brevity and fragility of life. This counteracts the brain’s natural negativity bias, ensuring you don’t miss the “awesomeness” of being alive and live your best life today.
Actively prepare for the worst-case scenarios, both mentally and financially, without obsessing over them. Since the future is unknowable, this ensures you are resilient to potential disasters, allowing you to better appreciate good times.
Mentally prepare for disaster to strike at any time, assuming that health, family, freedom, and money could disappear. This mindset helps you make plans accordingly and fosters a deeper appreciation for what you have, as you know it could be your last time experiencing it.
Prioritize opportunity and what’s best for your future over loyalty to locations, corporations, or past statements, reserving loyalty only for key human relationships. This allows for adaptability and thriving in an unknowable future, as it frees you from being bound by outdated commitments.
When making decisions, opt for plans that maximize your future options and flexibility. This approach allows you to adapt to changing situations and moods, providing resilience in an uncertain world.
To maintain maximum flexibility, avoid making plans too far in advance and defer decisions until the last possible moment. This acknowledges the unknowable nature of the future and allows you to respond optimally to current situations and moods.
Minimize your possessions and reduce your dependencies. Owning less makes you less vulnerable and less affected by potential disasters.
Honestly evaluate the true impact and cost of your anger. To recognize that anger is usually a corrosive fuel, not a positive force, and leads to mistakes.
Understand emotions exist in three layers: proto-emotions (physical reactions), debilitating emotions (endorsed impulses like anger/fear), and rational emotions (cultivated states like cautiousness, rational desire, charitable pleasure). This framework helps in managing emotions by identifying where they originate and aspiring to cultivate the third, more serene layer through reason and pause.
Mentally pre-rehearse potential negative events or challenges that might occur during the day. This practice helps prepare you emotionally and mentally, setting you up to better handle difficult situations when they arise.
Employ Eastern mindful practices, such as using a mantra, to quiet your mind and empty it of incessant thoughts. This helps calm the autonomic system, slowing down sped-up emotions and creating mental space for more reasoned responses.
For subjects you don’t care to deep-dive into, seek simple, actionable directives from trusted sources. This allows you to implement effective actions without needing to understand all the underlying details, provided the source is trustworthy and the environment is stable.
When exercising (running/walking), narrow your visual focus to a specific target ahead, ignoring peripheral distractions. This technique makes distances appear shorter and the exercise feel less painful, leading to increased speed and efficiency, and encouraging more frequent activity.
For parents of young children, start the day by cuddling and discussing what everyone is looking forward to, and reflecting on lessons learned from the previous day. This builds connection, fosters a positive outlook, and encourages spaced repetition of learning from experiences.
Consider using a “death clock” (like Kevin Kelly’s) that displays your remaining days based on expected lifespan. This tool, though seemingly dark, can be empowering by providing information that encourages you to prioritize how you spend your time and avoid wasting it.
Do not prioritize lifestyle design focused on immediate gratification and shaping surroundings to please every desire. This path leads to unhappiness by fostering self-centeredness and a constant need for external validation.
Do not seek happiness by constantly acquiring new things or chasing the fleeting joy of comparing old possessions to new ones. Happiness derived from comparison is temporary; once the new becomes the norm, you’ll need another new thing, leading to a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction.
Avoid buying expensive items solely to project identity or status, especially when renting or simpler options are available. Basing your identity on possessions leads to a focus on external validation rather than intrinsic worth, hindering true happiness.
Do not internalize a new status as a reason to relax, become complacent, or believe you’re above past needs or experiences. This mindset can lead to a sense of entitlement and an inability to adapt or appreciate simpler joys, making it harder to be happy.
Do not become a connoisseur who insists on only the finest, as defined by others. This habit will make you unhappy with anything less than perfection, creating constant dissatisfaction and limiting your enjoyment of everyday things.
Do not spend excessive time and energy focusing on the features and optimization of your material possessions. This diverts attention from more meaningful pursuits and can lead to an unhealthy attachment to objects, rather than experiences or relationships.
Do not acclimate yourself to extreme comfort or eliminate every discomfort, and avoid blaming others when the world doesn’t meet your standards. This leads to fragility, an inability to cope with hardship, and a victim mentality, all of which are detrimental to happiness.