Confront your fears and perceived problems directly because what seems daunting is often less threatening upon closer inspection, helping you overcome what holds you back and reach your full potential.
When wrestling with thorny issues, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” This helps you realize that the situation might not be as bad as perceived, making you feel more fearless and less likely to make it a bigger deal.
Actively allow yourself and others (especially children) to experience failure and discomfort, as these are crucial for learning and developing resilience, a key quality for success. Celebrate failures as opportunities for growth.
Consciously increase the time between having a thought and acting on it (the “cream in the Oreo cookie”), allowing for reflection and reducing the likelihood of impulsive, knee-jerk, or negative reactions.
Refrain from making decisions or trying to figure things out when emotions (whether elation, depression, or anger) are high, as they hinder your ability to recognize necessary adjustments and shifts.
Prioritize the process and the well-being of your people or the execution of tasks, rather than fixating on outcomes or the “scoreboard,” as focusing on the process leads to better results.
Define personal success as reaching a place where you can genuinely look in the mirror and say, “I have enough.” This mindset promotes contentment while still allowing you to continue working towards living the life you desire or giving to causes.
Avoid chasing goals that are primarily driven by ego or a need to fill a void in self-perception, as this striving can lead to a lack of peace and is defined as failure.
View practice as the most crucial element for performance, recognizing it as an opportunity to fail and learn, which is essential for eventual success on game day or in the boardroom.
Build success through consistent, daily effort, viewing each day’s contribution as another brick in the house you’re building. This daily discipline, when enjoyed, is more effective than sporadic intense bursts.
Cultivate empathy by actively trying to put yourself on the other side of the desk to understand others’ perspectives and motivations, which is crucial for effective leadership, influence, and inspiring people to reach their full potential.
Be willing to take a temporary step backward (e.g., to address a mindset or skill deficiency) in order to ultimately move forward and achieve greater improvement, even if it feels counterintuitive.
Continuously adjust your approach and strategies in life, recognizing that what got you here won’t necessarily get you there, especially when others are making their own adjustments in the ‘race of life’.
Mentally prepare for things not to go exactly as planned and cultivate the ability to recognize unexpected developments and make real-time adjustments, as life often requires constant adaptation like a game of whack-a-mole.
Cultivate a mindset that finds fun, excitement, value, and purpose in the daily process of work and improvement, as viewing it as drudgery will hinder long-term success and motivation.
Identify your life’s purpose, as working toward or in sync with it makes effort feel less like ‘work’ and more like a natural, fulfilling endeavor.
Increase the difficulty of practice sessions to make them more like game day, so that actual competition feels less shocking to the system and allows for a calmer, more effective performance.
Dedicate practice time to improving your weaknesses to prevent opponents from exploiting them, but always leverage your strengths during actual competition.
Focus on performing your specific role using your strengths and avoid straying outside your designated area or responsibilities, as going out of your lane can expose weaknesses and create liabilities.
Create daily task lists, review them before bed to enhance focus, and prioritize completing the least appealing task first each day to make the rest of the day more enjoyable and prevent procrastination-induced worry.
Establish realistic and measurable goals that are achievable in small steps, as this fosters consistency and prevents discouragement from seemingly insurmountable objectives.
When training or working, aim for sustainable effort rather than 100% intensity every single day; save a little for tomorrow so you feel good enough to return and continue the next day.
Accept “good enough” and celebrate individuals for who they are, rather than striving for an often unattainable perfection that can lead to unnecessary pressure and dissatisfaction.
When someone reacts emotionally, gently point out the reaction in a non-judgmental, non-confrontational way at the moment, then revisit the discussion later when emotions have subsided for effective learning.
To change learned behaviors, address them repeatedly during calm, non-emotional times (e.g., driving to the mall), rather than in the heat of the moment, to facilitate genuine learning and behavioral change.
Model the behavior you want to see in others, such as apologizing for losing your temper, as your actions speak louder than words in teaching and reinforcing desired conduct.
When facing vulnerable moments, shift your mindset to focus on your larger purpose or goal (e.g., raising strong, independent children) to facilitate openness and model desired behavior, rather than making it about personal discomfort.
As a leader, openly share your humanity and vulnerabilities with those you lead, as this fosters a sense of connection, reduces judgment, and allows for more relatable and effective teaching.
Maintain constant communication and presence, especially with young people, to provide continuous constructive messaging and guidance, helping them navigate challenges and avoid being swept away by external pressures.
Actively foster empathy and understanding among diverse groups by encouraging them to recognize similarities and address differences, leading to richer experiences and smoother journeys together.
Present all perspectives on an issue, rather than just one side, to allow individuals to form their own balanced conclusions and foster independent thought, helping them find the ‘middle’.
Conduct daily check-ins with key individuals (e.g., team captains) to understand their perspectives, stay informed about group dynamics, and transparently explain the rationale behind decisions.
Engage in brief, surface-level interactions with many people daily to take their ’temperature’ and ensure they are okay, reserving deep dives only for when a specific problem or need arises.
Recognize that enduring and overcoming difficult times together deepens relationships and fosters a stronger bond, similar to the shared experiences in a marriage.
Make an effort to reconnect with people from your past with a “light touch,” offering non-judgmental acceptance and reinforcing that shared humanity and connection persist.
Refrain from teaching or coaching immediately after a loss or a bad moment when emotions are high; instead, offer a brief acknowledgment and revisit the teaching later when things have calmed down.