Regularly imagine what your wise, dying self would advise you to do or change, and then act on those insights immediately, as this perspective offers the ultimate performance appraisal.
Do not base your value as a human on achievement results, as outcomes are often uncontrollable, and continuously chasing them leads to an unfulfilling, endless cycle.
Make your mission in life to create a positive difference, rather than proving how smart or right you are, because intellectual superiority is irrelevant without meaningful contribution.
Ensure your higher aspirations (why), ambitions (what you achieve), and daily activities (how you live) are in harmony to experience a truly great and fulfilling life.
View each breath as a chance to become a “new you,” separating your current self from past actions and mistakes, allowing for continuous self-renewal.
Discard the notion that your behaviors are fixed or “hardwired,” as believing in your capacity for change is the first step towards actual improvement.
Challenge self-limiting beliefs like “this is just the way I am,” as such fixed identities inhibit personal improvement and make any behavioral change feel inauthentic.
Focus on enjoying the journey, doing your best, and connecting your efforts to a higher purpose, rather than fixating on winning or losing outcomes.
Cultivate pride in your best effort regardless of the outcome, and adopt a “next play” mentality to quickly move past both successes and failures without dwelling.
Don’t defer happiness to future achievements or possessions; actively choose and pursue happiness now, appreciating what you have rather than constantly chasing what you lack.
Never neglect friends and family in pursuit of professional success, as these personal relationships are the ones that truly matter and provide support in the long run.
Don’t postpone your personal aspirations; take action on your dreams, regardless of their size or others’ opinions, as life is short and it’s your life to fulfill.
Regularly check in with colleagues (e.g., every two months) to ask for ongoing feedback and ideas on your progress, making improvement a continuous and systematic process.
Express sincere gratitude for feedback, apologize for past shortcomings without excuses, and solicit specific, future-oriented ideas for improvement rather than dwelling on past critiques.
When receiving ideas, listen actively without judgment, take notes, express thanks, commit to focusing on one or two key areas, and invite ongoing support from others.
Seek comprehensive, confidential feedback from a wide range of colleagues (e.g., board members, direct reports, peers) to identify areas for improvement and validate them with your superior.
As a leader, stop trying to prove your individual intelligence or correctness and instead focus on making a positive difference by working with and through others.
Beware of the habit of needing to win every argument or prove yourself right, even in trivial situations, as this can harm relationships and overall effectiveness.
Be mindful of immediately suggesting improvements to others’ ideas; sometimes, a simple “great idea” is more effective as it preserves their commitment and ownership.
Recognize that your “suggestions” may be perceived as “orders” by subordinates; take a breath and ask “Is it worth it?” before offering input to avoid unintended directives.
Consciously remove “no,” “but,” and “however” from your vocabulary, as these words instantly negate or dismiss the other person’s contribution, hindering open communication.
Adopt an “ask” approach as a future-oriented leader, recognizing that followers often possess more specialized knowledge, requiring you to listen, involve, and be inclusive rather than simply “tell.”
Understand and make peace with the reality that decisions are ultimately made by the person with the power to do so, regardless of intelligence, fairness, or logic.
Concentrate your efforts on selling ideas you can sell and changing what you can change; for everything else, make peace with it or consider leaving the situation.
Before every meeting or conversation, especially virtual ones, pause, breathe, and consciously orient yourself to the current context, participants, and priorities to avoid blurring interactions.
Actively seek out a community where you can be vulnerable, share experiences, and receive genuine support without judgment, as leadership can be isolating.
Ensure your efforts contribute to something meaningful beyond yourself and your immediate tasks, as this provides a vital “why” and prevents burnout from aimless hard work.
Become aware of when external stimuli (sights, sounds, people, thoughts) are unconsciously influencing your behavior and proactively devise strategies to mitigate unwanted impacts.
Acknowledge that willpower is often overrated and it’s okay to need help; arrange for someone to hold you accountable for your daily commitments and goals.
Use a daily spreadsheet to answer questions representing what’s most important in your life (yes/no/number), generating a weekly report card on your actual behaviors.
Structure self-assessment questions with “Did I do my best to…?” to shift accountability from external factors to your personal effort, encouraging self-reflection rather than blame.
Make a conscious effort each day to define what you want to achieve, rather than just reacting to incoming demands or letting the day unfold without direction.
Actively pursue progress on your goals daily, striving to advance your objectives despite distractions and unforeseen issues, rather than getting sidetracked.
Don’t wait for meaning to appear; actively work to make your daily interactions and experiences purposeful, rather than living in abstraction or theory.
Actively choose and pursue happiness each day, recognizing it as an important daily endeavor rather than an automatic outcome or something to be deferred.
Consistently invest effort in nurturing connections with others, both at work and at home, even when tired or stressed, as these relationships are crucial.
Make a conscious effort to be mentally and emotionally present in your activities and interactions, avoiding passive wandering through life.
In a changing world, prioritize trying and taking action on what you believe is right, as inaction and missed opportunities are more often regretted than failed attempts.
Prioritize helping people not for external rewards like money or status, but because your future 95-year-old self will be proud of the positive impact you’ve made.
Recognize that life is short and embrace enjoyment in your professional life, finding ways to integrate fun into your daily work and activities.
Understand that in leadership, what truly matters is how your actions and words are perceived by others, not just what you intended to communicate.
In personal relationships, when a situation doesn’t go your way, refrain from critiquing or pointing out others’ mistakes; instead, try to make the best of it and enjoy the moment.
When a loved one shares their struggles, avoid competing to prove your day was harder; instead, offer empathy and support without trying to “win” in suffering.
Before speaking at work, breathe and ask if your comment will improve the other person’s commitment; if not, re-evaluate if it’s truly worth saying.
Before speaking to loved ones, breathe and ask if your comment will improve the relationship; if the answer is no, it’s almost never worth saying.
When coaching or leading, define progress not by self-assessment but by the observable improvement recognized and judged by those around the individual.
Invest your coaching or leadership time in individuals who are genuinely committed to change, as their willingness is the primary driver of success.
As a coach or leader, ensure your efforts are centered on the growth and achievements of those you work with, not on validating your own intelligence or ego.
Before engaging in a coaching or development relationship, outline non-negotiable actions (e.g., getting feedback, follow-up, hard work) and only work with those willing to commit.
Direct your energy towards individuals who genuinely desire improvement, as efforts to change those who don’t care will be unproductive and a waste of your time.
When faced with distractions or frustrations, let go of past mistakes or external annoyances, concentrate on the immediate task, and forgive others and yourself to avoid self-inflicted misery.
Allow yourself one day to process wins or losses, then mentally turn the page to a new, blank day, forgiving past events and moving forward with a “next play” mindset.
Recognize that advertising often creates a false link between material acquisition and happiness, leading to fixation on external factors that don’t deliver lasting joy.
Understand that individuals have different heroes and cultural backgrounds; recognizing these differences reduces prejudice and promotes inclusivity.
Focus on an individual’s ability to meet job requirements, rather than allowing personal preferences (e.g., appearance) to influence your judgment.
Seek feedback on your own behavior and commit to personal growth, rather than expending energy on critiquing or judging those around you.
Recognize that current standards for leaders are higher than ever, and employees have greater agency to leave, necessitating continuous improvement in leadership behavior.
Twice a week, review a list of important people and proactively offer sincere, simple thanks for specific contributions, avoiding insincere praise.
Use this simple question to uncover others’ achievements and provide opportunities for genuine recognition of things you might not have known.
To improve communication with a specific person, ask them directly for ideas and insights, as they are the best source of relevant feedback.
Strive to comprehend others’ perspectives and feelings, but recognize that this understanding can be used for both positive support and negative manipulation.
While feeling others’ emotions can foster connection, be cautious not to internalize excessive pain, especially in demanding roles, to maintain your effectiveness.
While caring is positive, excessive emotional investment can lead to risk aversion and reduced effectiveness in roles requiring objective decision-making.
While taking action to help is valuable, be mindful not to become a “fixer” who inadvertently creates dependency and prevents others from taking responsibility.
Focus on being the specific person or leader needed for the individual and situation at hand, without carrying over past roles or emotions.
Regardless of how many times you’ve performed a task, reframe it as a unique experience for the recipient, dedicating your best effort to them.
Engage with different viewpoints to foster connection, but maintain your own stance and avoid getting stuck in their emotional space.
Develop the discipline to consciously shed past roles and their associated emotions to fully engage with the current situation and people, ensuring fairness and effectiveness.
For behaviors you want to change, establish a small, consistent financial penalty (e.g., $20 to charity) to increase accountability and awareness.
View the decision-maker as a “customer” you need to “sell” your ideas to, recognizing that they don’t have to buy, especially when influencing those with power.
If you are the decision-maker and options are similar, lean towards your preferred choice because your commitment to it will likely lead to better execution.
When making a final decision despite disagreement, state your choice clearly, acknowledge others’ input and intelligence, and ask for their best execution, without needing to prove them wrong.
Recognize that while external triggers influence you, you can consciously shift the balance to exert more control over your behavior and reactions.
Openly accepting that you can be influenced by your surroundings makes you less vulnerable to being unconsciously controlled by them.
Daily self-assessment reveals the often-unflattering truth of how your actual behavior aligns with your stated intentions, highlighting areas for real change.
Acknowledge and appreciate the positive contributions of your “previous selves,” and consciously let go of their errors without dwelling on them.
Recognize that you are not the same person you were previously; release the burden of past actions and allow yourself to be the person you need to be now.
Disengage from excessive consumption of others’ lives (e.g., social media, celebrity culture) and past glories, focusing instead on creating your own present experiences.
Reduce personal expectations and worries about uncontrollable factors to increase your actual influence and positive contribution.