Actively identify and nurture “thick desires” (e.g., for freedom, deep relationships, virtues, personal purpose) that are perennial and contribute to human happiness, as these provide a framework for making decisions and enduring hard times.
Intentionally choose to spend time with people whose “default behavior” aligns with your desired habits and thinking, as their positive mimetic influence can override individual resistance and reinforce your goals.
Avoid making significant life decisions during periods of extreme emotional states (deep anxiety/desolation or extreme consolation/highs); instead, aim for a “neutrality and peace” to ensure clearer discernment.
Actively name and articulate your desires and the models (both positive and negative) influencing them, as this clarity is crucial for understanding, controlling, and shaping your wants.
Map out a “flywheel of desire” where each positive action or desire naturally leads to the next, creating a self-reinforcing cycle that makes it increasingly likely you’ll pursue your goals.
Integrate rituals into your life as a counterbalance to human nature, using them to reinforce desired behaviors, provide discipline, and serve as a memory aid for why you chose certain desires and paths.
Live with the awareness that you are a “model of desire” for others (e.g., students, colleagues, family), and take responsibility for the influence you exert by intentionally modeling positive desires and behaviors.
Value and integrate tacit knowledge and intuition into decision-making, using rational thought to validate initial intuitive insights rather than dismissing them outright.
Identify and consciously “opt out” of “Michelin star systems” or unhealthy dominance hierarchies that cause misery or do not align with your true desires, even if it means foregoing a perceived pinnacle.
Regularly question and evaluate the origins of your goals, acknowledging that they are often products of mimetic desires from your models, and expand your “universe of models” to identify healthier, more fulfilling objectives.
Shift your focus for happiness from being content with what you have to being content with who you are, as self-acceptance is a more fundamental source of well-being.
Establish consistent daily rituals, such as going to bed early, morning reading/meditation/exercise, and a silent midday break, to reset your mind, increase your desire to work, and maintain overall well-being.
For important relationships (e.g., business partners), test their strength by speaking a “hard truth” upfront and observing their reaction, as this reveals if open communication is possible.
Invest in relationships where open and honest communication is possible, including clearly defining boundaries and rules, and model this behavior for others.
Plan and undertake an annual silent retreat (at least five days, unplugged, remote) to gain perspective, reorient desires, and reflect on past decisions and their outcomes.
Delve deep into understanding human nature, particularly through classic literature and philosophy, as it provides a “shortcut” to understanding unchanging aspects of human behavior in life and business.
Approach fiction, mythology, and even philosophical texts with an open mind, seeking “useful” truths about human nature and the world, even if they are not scientifically accurate or factual.
Recognize that many of your desires (for objects, jobs, relationships) are not purely intrinsic but are often influenced by “mediators or models of desire,” challenging the “romantic lie” of independent wanting.
To identify “mediators of desire” (hidden influencers), embed yourself in relationships/organizations, cut through superficiality, and create trusting, confidential environments where people feel safe to share their true, often unstated, motivations.
Understand that a role model inspires a role or behavior, while a “model of desire” influences what you want at a deeper identity level; be aware of who you are following at this deeper level.
Be highly aware that social media exposes you to an overwhelming number of “models of desire,” often curated and inauthentic, leading to projected happiness and potentially manufacturing desires that are not genuinely yours.
Understand that your identity is not formed in isolation but is “highly relational” and shaped by mimesis within your relationships, influencing who you become.
To identify a “thick desire,” test if it can ever be fully satiated; if it remains insatiable and you can continually deepen your engagement with it, it’s likely a profound and enduring desire worth pursuing.
Be aware that attraction can be “hacked” through “mediators” (e.g., a “wingman” showing interest) who influence how a person is perceived, demonstrating the non-objective nature of desire.
Be conscious that humans often seek validation for their desires through competition or by observing others’ interest, which can lead to doubting the worthiness of something if no one else wants it.
To overcome unwanted behaviors or negative models, focus on replacing them with a “greater good” or a more powerful positive model, rather than solely trying to eliminate the negative.
Identify and map out your “negative flywheels of desire” (e.g., staying up late -> poor morning -> procrastination), as understanding these spirals helps you catch yourself at early stages and design positive counter-flywheels.
When making complex decisions, utilize “layered thinking” by considering rational analysis, tacit knowledge (intuition), emotional responses, and even physical cues, rather than relying on any single layer in isolation.
Re-evaluate your definition of success beyond professional achievements to focus on the legacy of love, charity, and positive influence you leave on others, aiming to expand their “universe of desires” in a beneficial way.
Be aware of the “slippery slope” of manufactured desires that can be misinterpreted as needs, and ensure you have creative outlets to exercise your gifts, as their absence can lead to unhappiness regardless of financial success.
Develop stronger, more reliable intuition by gaining direct, earned experience across a full spectrum of situations (e.g., high trust and betrayal), rather than relying solely on borrowed knowledge.
When building a luxury brand, leverage “aspirational marketing” by modeling a lifestyle that is just out of reach, maintaining a “far enough gap” from the average consumer’s reality to avoid competition and foster desire without self-accusation.