Actively seek and prioritize social interactions, even with strangers, as studies show that being more social and connecting with others significantly improves happiness and mood, despite initial predictions of awkwardness.
Engage in acts of kindness and do nice things for others, as this provides a greater boost to happiness than self-focused activities.
Intentionally pay attention to the present moment, often with a non-judgmental attitude, as this presence can improve well-being over time and make you happier.
Focus on basic healthy habits like getting enough sleep and regular exercise, as these are critical for mental health and overall happiness, and often the first things to be neglected during busy or stressful times.
Understand that our minds often mislead us about what truly brings lasting happiness, such as external achievements or material possessions, to avoid misdirected effort.
Actively work to uncover and pursue the correct sources of lasting happiness, rather than relying on mistaken intuitions that lead to disappointment.
Prioritize creating a subjective sense of having ample free time (time affluence), as feeling ’time famished’ has a significant negative impact on well-being, comparable to unemployment.
Understand that while you can’t always control the ‘first arrow’ (external negative events), you are responsible for your ‘second arrow’ (your reaction to those events), and can choose to regulate your response.
Establish clear boundaries with people, situations, and activities to control your attention and avoid putting yourself in emotionally draining or negative circumstances, thereby regulating your emotions proactively.
Create and maintain daily rituals and routines to help compartmentalize different aspects of life, reduce cognitive overwhelm, and foster social connection and a positive mindset.
Avoid the trap of ’toxic positivity’ by recognizing that experiencing negative emotions like sadness, anger, or fear is a normal and human part of life, not a sign of failure.
Engage in activities that induce a state of ‘flow,’ where you feel actively engaged, energized, and challenged, as this is a proven way to overcome feelings of languishing or apathy.
Start each day by briefly visualizing the loss of things you value (e.g., spouse, job, health) to reset your reference point, counteract hedonic adaptation, and foster greater appreciation for what you have.
Regularly write down three to five things you are grateful for, as this simple practice can significantly improve your well-being in as little as two weeks.
Write and deliver detailed thank-you notes to people you appreciate, as this act can significantly boost your well-being immediately and for over a month.
Put in effort to overcome natural cravings and intuitions that don’t lead to lasting happiness, similar to choosing healthy food over junk food, to live a more fulfilling life.
Parents should embody calm and a positive emotional state, as children naturally catch emotions through emotional contagion, and a parent’s anxiety can be transmitted to their kids.
Focus on improving your own happiness and well-being first, as your positive emotional state and practices will naturally benefit your children through modeling and emotional contagion.
For parents, allow children to experience failure, as it is crucial for learning, developing resilience, and preventing anxiety about future challenges.
Parents should resist the urge to preemptively solve all problems for their children, as this can undermine children’s sense of competence, increase anxiety, and hinder their ability to learn independently.
Be aware of the three components of burnout: emotional exhaustion, personal ineffectiveness (lack of meaning), and depersonalization (cynicism/lack of compassion), as these are signals that changes are needed.
Treat burnout symptoms as critical emotional signals, like a car’s gas gauge, indicating that you must make changes to avoid running out of fuel or facing catastrophic problems.
Respond to burnout by taking genuine, restorative time off and by re-evaluating and renegotiating your identity and relationship with your job.
Recognize that emotions are contagious, and while others’ negativity can affect you, your own optimism and positive emotions also have the power to influence those around you.
Develop strategies to regulate emotions by creating a pause between feeling an emotion and acting on it, preventing negative reactions from escalating problems.
Cultivate mindfulness to observe your physiological and emotional responses (e.g., rising blood pressure, clenched jaw) in challenging situations, allowing you to acknowledge emotions without immediately reacting.
Through mindfulness, recognize that you are not your thoughts or emotions, which enables you to pause, create distance, and choose a different, more intentional reaction.
Actively manage distractions that pull your attention away from the present moment to boost overall happiness and well-being.
Before using your phone, ask ‘What for?’ (purpose), ‘Why now?’ (trigger), and ‘What else?’ (opportunity cost) to become more mindful and intentional about your technology use.
Consciously monitor and control where your attention is directed, as our attention can be easily stolen by distractions, impacting our well-being.
Engage in meditation to intentionally pay attention to the present moment with a non-judgmental attitude, which directly contributes to increased happiness and well-being.
Consciously reduce your commitments and activities to create more free time, which is a crucial ingredient for happiness and opens opportunities for connection and well-being.
Use discretionary income for time-saving purchases (e.g., pre-cut groceries, takeout, hiring help for chores) to free up more personal time, which contributes to greater happiness.
Consciously reframe existing purchases, like ordering takeout, by calculating the time saved, which can enhance your subjective sense of time affluence and boost happiness.
Select leisure activities that are more challenging and actively engage you to induce a state of ‘flow,’ rather than passive entertainment, to maximize the benefits of free time.
When seeking fun, prioritize activities that are social, induce a state of flow (engagement), and are approached with a playful, childlike attitude, free from performance or monetary goals.
In relationships, consciously respond positively to your partner’s ‘bids for attention’ (e.g., sharing a thought, asking about their day), as consistently ignoring these can signal relationship trouble and reduce connection.
Be aware that our brains naturally compare ourselves to those who make us feel worse, which prevents us from feeling good about what we have.
Recognize that humans adapt to positive circumstances, causing even the best things in life to lose their ‘oomph’ over time, and actively work against this tendency to maintain appreciation.
Recognize that natural selection prioritizes survival and reproduction, not individual happiness, which explains why we are often driven to pursue resources and status that don’t ultimately make us happy.
Limit the number of activities and choices to reduce feelings of FOMO, anxiety, and time famine, allowing for more bandwidth and appreciation for in-person social connection.
Participate in behaviors often associated with religious institutions, such as going to communal gatherings, doing nice things for others, and altruistic acts, as these behaviors (not necessarily beliefs) are linked to increased happiness.
Seek out non-religious institutions or groups (e.g., CrossFit) that encourage social connection, altruism, and presence, as the behaviors fostered by these communities can also significantly improve happiness.
Continuously striving to ‘seek happiness’ can ironically lead to negative emotions, make you less present, and be counterproductive to achieving true well-being.