Quiet your mind and set an intention for what matters most to you (e.g., “I vow to be kind”). This intention becomes a touchstone, shining a light and providing direction during struggles.
Understand that there are two kinds of suffering: one that follows you when you run, and one that is a gateway to freedom when you face it. Choose to face suffering as a path to liberation.
Hold your own humanity with a tender heart and genuine compassion. This practice allows you to extend the same compassion to others, becoming a beneficial force in the world.
Listen to self-judgmental voices without adding more judgment. Acknowledge the underlying fear or pain with kindness, reflect on common humanity (realizing struggles are shared), and cultivate compassion for all experiencing self-judgment.
Cultivate mindful awareness to recognize and name emotions (e.g., anger, fear, joy) as they arise. Feel them in your body and make space for them, treating them like visitors rather than letting them overwhelm you.
When feeling angry, create a space (like a quiet hut) to sit with the emotion. Observe the stories it tells, feel its energy in your body, and learn to be with it without running away.
Through mindfulness, realize that your emotions are not solely yours but are shared human experiences, part of the collective grief, joy, or longing of the world. This perspective brings spaciousness and ease.
Practice mindfulness to become conscious of your inner commentary and thought patterns. This awareness allows you to discern which thoughts are healthy and helpful versus unhealthy or destructive.
When unhealthy thoughts arise, acknowledge their intention to protect you by saying, “Thank you for trying to protect me, I’m okay, you can relax.” This avoids adding judgment and allows you to plant better mental seeds.
Recognize that your heart and mind contain seeds of both positive (joy, love, peace) and negative (fear, anger, greed) emotions. Your well-being depends on consciously watering and tending to the healthy seeds.
Regularly envision people you care about and wish them well using phrases like “May you be safe and well, may you be happy and peaceful.” Extend this practice to yourself as mindful self-compassion, acknowledging shared human struggle and wishing yourself well.
Train your heart and mind to shift your identity from being habitually reactive to being an observer who can step back and see unhealthy patterns. This practice liberates you from being caught in those patterns.
When feeling reactive, triggered, or set off, take a mindful pause—a few breaths or minutes—to quiet your mind. This creates space for reason, prevents unprocessed emotions from coloring your day, and allows for deeper engagement.
Learn forgiveness by clearly seeing what happened, feeling the suffering, and resolving to prevent future suffering, without condoning the act. Forgiveness is about releasing the bitterness you carry, stopping cycles of hatred within yourself.
Consciously decide not to pass on a legacy of bitterness or hatred, even when wronged. This action, like not speaking ill of someone, reinforces forgiveness and prevents fueling negative thoughts and actions.
When faced with immediate reactions, shift your perspective to a broader view, considering long-term relationships or how you want to live in this moment (heart open vs. closed). This moves you from primitive reactivity to a more thoughtful response.
Pay attention to and deliberately set your intentions before actions (e.g., before a meeting or game), as the underlying intention significantly influences the consequences and steers outcomes. Also, notice the impact of your actions, even with good intentions.
In moments of conflict, take a mindful pause and ask yourself your best or highest intention. This shifts consciousness from proving yourself right to connecting with kindness, respect, and understanding.
Beyond moments of conflict, periodically reflect on your best intention at the start of the day, week, or a new venture. The frequency should be organic and what works best for you.
Bring mindful presence to everyday activities like shopping or eating, aiming to be fully engaged without tension or striving. Enjoy the moment, feel your steps, and be present rather than trying to solve all life’s problems simultaneously.
In meditation, observe your mind’s “playlist” of recurring thoughts and stories. Identify your top 10 most frequent thoughts, and when they arise, mentally label them (“oh, number three”) and acknowledge them, allowing you to step out of them and create space.
View your personality and temperament (e.g., speedy, introverted) with kind bemusement, like a pet. Neither suppress it nor get lost in it, but observe it graciously as part of mindful self-compassion.
When you have a strong emotional reaction to a slight or event, recognize it as a signal that a past pattern, trauma, or conditioning is present within you. This awareness helps prevent unconscious patterns from playing out.
Practice mindful awareness and loving-kindness meditation until wishing others well becomes an easy, almost automatic response. This softens your heart and improves your life, even in minor frustrations like traffic.
Employ simple ritual gestures (e.g., lighting a candle, placing a stone, a handshake) to change the environment and how people relate. These elemental expressions can shift collective energy and allow for deeper engagement in moments.
Consciously insert rituals (e.g., a prayer, a toast, a specific action) to create a pause before responding or acting. This shifts collective energy and allows for a more intentional, different response.
Develop personal rituals (like athletes do) to help you leave behind past events, whether positive or negative, and bring your focus fully into the present moment.
Replace negative self-judgment with discernment, which allows you to see clearly what is valuable, what needs inquiry, or what serves without adding negativity. This fosters real connection to yourself and others.
When receiving compliments, practice allowing them to “come in and wash through and go away” rather than deflecting them. Acknowledge the compliment with kindness and honesty, even if it feels difficult.
When struggling, recognize that while inner work is important, it’s not healthy to do it alone. Seek out community (sangha, satsang, minyan) to talk, learn, and receive support, realizing you are not alone in your struggles.
Keep physical tokens or visual reminders (like Shay’s bowl) on your desk or in your environment. These objects unconsciously center you and reinforce important lessons or intentions.
Regularly reflect on core life questions: “Did I love well?”, “Did I bring my gifts to the world?”, and “Did I learn to let go?”. This helps ensure you live a conscious and meaningful life.
Move beyond empathy (feeling for someone) to active compassion, which combines understanding with a heartfelt response to alleviate suffering. This means taking action, if appropriate, to make a situation better.
Get quiet to realize you are the awareness observing thoughts and words, a consciousness that is timeless and not limited by your body. Experiences in nature, art, or profound life moments can open this gateway to remembering this deeper mystery.
Understand that inner training in mindfulness, compassion, and perspective brings tremendous benefit and value to all areas of life, including education, business, community building, and personal well-being.