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Best of 2022: Conversations of the Year

Dec 27, 2022 1h 56m 70 insights
The Knowledge Project closes 2022 with a look back at some of the best conversations of the year. Featuring interviews from 10 of the most downloaded and acclaimed episodes of 2022, this collection of conversations offers a variety of insights into evidence-based approaches to happiness, getting things done, small things you can do to make life great, eliminating drama, impulse control, making faster and better decisions, the core human nature that drives us all, sleeping better, slowing down your aging process, and what really matters.  Guests on this episode include: Happiness expert Laurie Santos, former Ford Motor Company CEO Alan Mulally, executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, leadership expert Diana Chapman, leading neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman, LinkedIn founder Reid Hoffman, entrepreneur and venture capitalist Kunal Shah, sleep scientist Matthew Walker, aging expert David Sinclair, and business leader Sarah Jones Simmer. -- Want even more? Members get early access, hand-edited transcripts, member-only episodes, and so much more. Learn more here: https://fs.blog/membership/ Every Sunday our Brain Food newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish Our
Actionable Insights

1. Don’t Condition Value on Achievement

Never base your self-worth as a human being on the results of your achievements, as outcomes are often uncontrollable and the satisfaction derived from them is temporary. Instead, focus on loving the process of what you do and connecting it to a higher purpose.

2. Adopt a ‘By Me’ Mindset

Recognize that your emotional, physical, and mental states are happening ‘by you,’ making you the creator of your own experience rather than a victim of external circumstances. This empowers you to take 100% responsibility for your well-being and responses.

3. Prioritize What Truly Matters

Regularly reflect on what you would drop or regret not doing if you only had a limited time (e.g., five years) to live. This mental exercise helps clarify your purpose and encourages you to prioritize activities that bring joy and align with your core values daily.

4. Align Life’s Core Elements

Ensure your aspirations (your reason for existence), ambitions (your achievements), and day-to-day activities are in harmony. The degree to which these three elements are aligned significantly contributes to having a great and fulfilling life.

5. Identify Core Human Motivations

Understand the deep-seated, universal drivers that compel human behavior, such as improving social status, mating success, or health, by asking what people would give half their net worth for. This insight allows you to effectively ‘press the motivation button’ in people, whether in business or personal interactions.

6. Seek Non-Obvious, Actionable Insights

Actively look for truths that are not immediately apparent but become clear and logical once revealed, as these are the smallest units of actionable truth. Operating in the currency of such insights is a hallmark of successful individuals and businesses.

7. Practice Negative Visualization

Start each day by briefly imagining that everything you value in life is gone. This ancient Stoic technique resets your reference points, combats hedonic adaptation, and fosters a deeper appreciation for the good things you currently possess.

8. Practice Daily ‘No-Go’ Functions

Deliberately introduce 20-30 small acts of suppressing impulsive behaviors throughout your day, such as delaying picking up your phone. This reinforces generic neural circuits for impulse control, which translates to better self-discipline in various aspects of life.

9. Make Decisions Faster

Generally, making a decision faster is better, especially in rapidly evolving environments. When faced with a major decision, determine what your choice would be if you had to decide immediately, then identify only the critical information or conversations that might genuinely alter that decision before proceeding.

10. Activate Sirtuins (Mimic Adversity)

Engage in practices that mimic perceived adversity, such as skipping meals, eating less protein, or experiencing hot and cold temperatures. These actions activate sirtuin genes, which are epigenetic regulators that slow down the aging clock and improve the body’s defense against damage.

11. Practice Gratitude (Writing)

Dedicate time to write down three to five things you are grateful for, as this simple act can significantly improve your well-being in as little as two weeks. Regularly counting your blessings enhances positive emotions and life satisfaction.

12. Parenting: Prioritize Own Happiness

Focus on your own happiness and well-being first, as children naturally catch their parents’ emotions through emotional contagion. By embodying calmness, gratitude, and a better emotional state, you implicitly transmit these positive traits and strategies to your kids.

13. Include All Stakeholders

Ensure that all relevant parties, including employees, suppliers, customers, and investors, are represented and have their voices heard in leadership and decision-making processes. This comprehensive inclusion leads to more robust strategies, plans, and objective accomplishment.

14. Compelling Vision & Relentless Plan

Establish a clear, meaningful, and purposeful vision for your organization, supported by a comprehensive strategy and a relentless implementation plan. This approach ensures all participants are aligned and dedicated to achieving shared objectives.

15. Distill Ideas to Simple Messages

Test the clarity of your ideas by trying to explain them without jargon, as if you were telling a friend over dinner. If an idea cannot be distilled into a simple, transmissible message, it will struggle to spread and incur high customer acquisition costs.

16. Manage Mental Health

Actively work to reduce stress and anxiety in your life, as these states can almost guarantee a bad night of sleep. Addressing mental well-being is crucial for improving sleep quality and overall health.

17. Develop a Wind-Down Routine

Create and consistently follow a pre-bedtime routine, similar to what children have, to help your mind and body transition from wakefulness to sleep. This could include a bath, meditation, light stretching, or listening to a sleep story.

18. Practice Intermittent Fasting

Incorporate fasting periods of at least 14 hours into your routine to gain health benefits such as better metabolic stability, lower blood sugar levels, and improved cholesterol. A common approach is the 16:8 method, skipping one meal a day.

19. Focus on the Immediate Task

When faced with distractions or past mistakes, let go of what you cannot control and concentrate solely on the present task or ’the shot in front of you.’ This approach helps maintain focus and prevents rumination from hindering performance.

20. Forgive Others and Yourself

Release the burden of wishing others were different or blaming them for your unhappiness. Forgiving others for being themselves and yourself for wishing they were otherwise prevents self-inflicted misery and allows you to move forward.

21. Avoid the Drama Triangle

Recognize and disengage from the roles of Victim (disempowered), Villain (blaming), and Hero (seeking temporary relief) in your relationships and problem-solving. These roles perpetuate reactive patterns and prevent addressing core issues.

22. Source Approval Internally

Cultivate self-approval and security from within yourself rather than seeking it externally. Relying on external validation leads to suffering and a constant need to control others’ perceptions of you.

23. Reinforce ‘Go’ Functions Early

Start your day by immediately engaging in action, such as making your bed, without rumination or overthinking. This sets your nervous system into an action-oriented ‘go’ mode, building momentum for the rest of your day.

24. Create Simple Plans

Design plans that are straightforward and easy to understand, as simplicity allows for widespread adoption without distortion throughout an organization. Err on the side of being overly simple for better scalability and application.

25. Be an Explicit Learner

Strive to learn new concepts in a way that allows you to clearly explain them to others as a tool or principle. This deepens your understanding and enhances your ability to apply and share knowledge effectively.

26. Identify Emotional Product Benefits

When developing or pitching a product, look beyond its functional utility to understand the deeper emotional motivations that drive people to use or buy it. Successful founders know both the functional and emotional benefits of their offerings.

27. Avoid the ‘Swiss Knife Problem’

Resist the urge to build a product with too many features from the outset when consumers are only looking for a core solution. Instead, focus on a clear ‘foot in the door’ strategy by offering a simple, essential product first, then expanding its capabilities.

28. Understand Willingness to Pay

Realistically assess whether your target users (e.g., parents, CFOs, kids) would genuinely pay for your product or service. Many ideas fail because founders overestimate the perceived value and willingness to pay.

29. Boil Wisdom to Core Units

Distill complex wisdom or ideas into their fundamental, indivisible components (first principles). This creates powerful building blocks for understanding and innovation, especially in business.

30. Avoid Sleep Disruptors

Refrain from consuming caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine, especially before bed, as these substances are stimulants and clear disruptors that will guarantee a bad night of sleep.

31. Align Bedtime with Chronotype

Determine your natural morningness or eveningness (chronotype) using a questionnaire like MEQ, and try to align your bedtime with your body’s innate urge to sleep. Mismatching your bedtime with your chronotype can lead to difficulty falling asleep.

32. Maintain Sleep Routine After Bad Night

If you experience a bad night of sleep, avoid compensatory behaviors like sleeping in later, going to bed earlier, napping during the day, or increasing caffeine intake. Sticking to your regular schedule prevents further disruption of your sleep cycle.

33. Take a Mental Journey for Sleep

Instead of counting sheep, which can prolong sleep onset, take yourself on a mental journey by visualizing a familiar walk, hike, or activity. This technique distracts your mind from ruminating thoughts and helps you fall asleep faster.

34. Remove Clocks from Bedroom

Eliminate visible clock faces from your bedroom to prevent anxiety and rumination if you wake up during the night. Knowing the time does not help you sleep; it only makes matters worse.

35. Eat a Mediterranean-Type Diet

Incorporate healthy foods typical of a Mediterranean diet, such as olive oil and red wine, into your eating habits. These foods contain chemicals that activate sirtuins, improving health and potentially slowing the aging process.

36. Focus on Eating Window

Prioritize when you eat over what you eat by consuming all your daily food within a short, consistent window (e.g., one hour). Animal studies show this can dramatically extend lifespan and improve health, even if total calories remain similar.

37. Cultivate Gratitude for Simple Things

Develop a deep appreciation for the everyday, simple aspects of life. This perspective shift, often gained after challenging experiences, enhances overall happiness and contentment.

38. Distinguish ‘Big’ from ‘Little’ Deals

Learn to categorize life’s challenges into ‘big deals’ (major, impactful events) and ’little deals’ (minor inconveniences). This reframing helps reduce anxiety over small issues by putting them into a broader perspective.

39. Give Permission to Lean In/Out

Consciously grant yourself permission to fully engage in work when desired and to disengage when personal time is needed, especially in flexible work environments. This fosters a healthier balance and prevents burnout.

40. Practice Evening Reflection

End your day with a brief reflection by asking yourself: ‘What am I blocking? What am I advancing? How did I make people feel?’ Answering these questions provides clarity and allows you to transition intentionally into personal time.

41. Increase Social Connection

Actively seek opportunities to enhance your social connections, as empirical psychology shows a direct link between strong social bonds and increased happiness.

42. Do Nice Things for Others

Regularly engage in acts of kindness for others, as contributing positively to others’ lives is a proven way to boost your own happiness.

43. Focus on Healthier Habits

Prioritize and actively work on improving your health habits, such as getting better sleep and more exercise. These foundational practices significantly contribute to overall well-being and happiness.

44. Express Gratitude to Others

Write a detailed thank-you note to someone you’ve always wanted to thank but haven’t. This act can significantly improve your well-being immediately and for over a month.

45. Reset Your Reference Points

Consciously shift your perspective to appreciate your current situation, especially during challenging times. Remind yourself that many others would gladly trade their problems for yours, leading to a broader and more positive outlook.

46. Parenting: Promote Early Happiness Skills

Introduce evidence-based happiness strategies and skills to children at a young age. This proactive approach helps them build a foundation for long-term well-being.

47. Parenting: Avoid Over-Intervention

Refrain from ’lawnmower’ or ‘steamroller’ parenting, where you preemptively remove all obstacles for your children. Allowing kids to fail and solve problems themselves is crucial for developing competence, resilience, and reducing anxiety.

48. Parenting: Model Calmness

Be mindful of your own emotional state, as children are highly susceptible to emotional contagion. By embodying calm and confidence, you help your children feel more secure and less anxious about challenges.

49. People First (Leadership)

Prioritize appreciating, thanking, and including all individuals involved in a project or organization. Recognizing their talent and humanity fosters a culture of ’love by design’ and motivates participation.

50. Clear Goals & One Plan

Ensure that your organization operates with clear performance goals and a single, unified plan. This eliminates confusion and ensures everyone is working towards the same objectives, unlike companies with multiple, conflicting plans.

51. Use Facts and Data (Leadership)

Base conclusions and decisions on concrete facts and data, not just opinions. This approach enables collective problem-solving and helps the team effectively address issues and turn ‘reds to yellows to greens.’

52. Share Reality (Leadership)

Regularly communicate the true status of the situation, including both opportunities and issues, with all stakeholders. This transparency builds respect and allows everyone to understand areas needing special attention.

53. Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Recognize that creative and innovative processes will inevitably encounter issues, and trust the established process for working together to resolve them. This mindset helps teams navigate challenges without getting discouraged.

54. Have Fun (Leadership)

Actively foster an environment where participants can enjoy the journey and each other while working towards shared goals. This promotes a positive and engaging culture.

55. Zero Tolerance for Violations

Establish and enforce zero tolerance for violations of the agreed-upon operating processes and expected behaviors. This ensures commitment, seriousness, and accountability across the team.

56. Address Core Issues

Instead of repeatedly seeking temporary relief for problems, take the time to identify and address the underlying core issues. This prevents recycling patterns of reactivity and leads to lasting solutions.

57. Pause and Become Aware

When faced with a situation, consciously pause to become more aware of what is happening rather than reacting compulsively. This allows for reasoned responses and avoids perpetuating drama.

58. Let Go of Being Right

Challenge your ego’s need to always be right, as this often serves as a defense mechanism to protect underlying vulnerability and fear. Embracing ‘I don’t know’ opens the door to growth and connection.

59. Stick to a Plan (Self-Discipline)

When you have a set plan, such as a gym routine, resist the impulse to spontaneously change it. Enforcing regimented adherence to your plan strengthens self-discipline and prevents defaulting to less effective actions.

60. Practice Focused Work Bouts

Schedule and commit to 90-minute periods of focused work, resisting the temptation to get up or switch contexts even when attention drifts. This trains tunnel vision and improves concentration.

61. Engage in ‘Hour of Pain’

Periodically undertake a low-cost, uncomfortable challenge, such as sitting in an awkward position for an hour, to deliberately build up your ’no-go’ circuits. This enhances mental toughness and the ability to suppress unwanted actions.

62. Practice ‘What If I Decided Now?’

Make it a ritual to consider what your decision would be if you had to make it immediately, without further information. This trains you to overcome the discomfort of quick decisions and identify truly essential data.

63. Evaluate Decision Recoverability

Before making a decision, assess whether it is a ‘one-way door’ (irreversible and catastrophic) or a ’two-way door’ (recoverable). This helps determine the appropriate level of certainty and evidence required.

64. Experiment with Decisions

Where possible, approach decisions with an experimental mindset, testing aspects of the decision or trying it out on a smaller scale. This reduces risk and provides valuable learning before full commitment.

65. Avoid Decision Biases

Be aware of common cognitive biases like sunk cost bias and blind spots, and actively work to mitigate their influence on your decision-making. This improves the quality and objectivity of your choices.

66. Test Understanding (Language/Level)

When evaluating someone’s understanding of an idea, ask them to explain it in a different language or at a different level of detail. Those who truly grasp the concept can adapt their explanation effortlessly.

67. Imagine Scaling from the Start

When developing a product or business, envision from the beginning how it could grow into a very large entity. This forward-thinking approach helps avoid getting stuck in a limited scope.

68. Consider 16:8 Fasting

A specific intermittent fasting protocol involves fasting for 16 hours and eating within an 8-hour window, often by skipping one meal like breakfast or a late dinner. This is a popular and effective way to achieve fasting benefits.

69. Consider Longer Fasts (Occasionally)

Explore longer fasts of 3-7 days a few times a year to trigger autophagy, a beneficial cellular recycling process. However, ensure adequate nutrition and consult professionals, as this is an extreme measure.

70. Avoid Spending Too Much Time in Bed Awake

If you’re struggling with sleep, avoid spending excessive time in bed while awake, as this can paradoxically worsen sleep. Your brain may begin to associate the bed with wakefulness rather than rest.