Develop a stronger relationship with your body and feel embodied, as confidence organically arises from this connection. This practice fosters a natural sense of belonging and personal power without inner debate or assertion.
Bring attention to your breath and physical sensations in your body to increase your presence. This practice helps you become more present and notice things you ordinarily wouldn’t, deepening your field of attention.
Practice getting more grounded in your body by feeling your breath or sensing yourself resting in your current physical position. The body can only be in the here and now, bringing you into direct contact with yourself, unlike scattered thoughts and feelings.
Learn about and engage the three centers of intelligence: the body (kinesthetic/instinctual), the heart (emotional), and the head (cognitive). This practice helps you become more present and awake in your life, providing different avenues for self-awareness and understanding.
Cultivate presence with your heart to reduce emotional reactivity. This practice brings forth qualities like kindness, patience, peacefulness, and courage.
Come back to yourself cognitively to calm the mind into a state of clear perception. This allows you to observe your personality patterns without being overly identified with them.
Practice being present with the content of your experience, noticing your body, postures, breathing, emotions, and mind. This observation provides you with more options in how you respond, rather than being driven by preoccupations and patterns.
When you “catch yourself in the act” of being stuck in a pattern, take a breath, pause, get grounded, and look at the situation with kindness. This action opens up new options and perspectives, allowing you to respond differently.
Notice your default reactions and behaviors, especially when the chips are down or in conflict situations. This self-awareness provides options and freedom to choose behaviors beyond your habitual default, rather than just giving yourself a free pass.
Engage in practices that train self-awareness, such as presence or mindfulness, often paired with the Enneagram. This enables you to choose actions different from your default patterns, freeing you from being “stuck.”
Recognize that the problem isn’t having an ego, but identifying with it so much that you forget other parts of yourself and stop looking beyond habitual identities. This awareness helps you prevent getting lost in fixed identities and allows for a broader understanding of yourself.
Understand that the ego’s proper place is to serve your functioning in the world, not to dominate. When you are present in your centers (body, heart, head), the ego naturally takes its correct, functional position.
Work towards becoming less identified and stuck in your Enneagram type’s pattern. This liberation allows the positive capacities, talents, and gifts of all nine Enneagram points to emerge, leading to a more total and complete human experience.
Learn to embrace all nine Enneagram points, recognizing each as a vital ingredient for a good human life. This prevents you from acting like a “cartoon” of just one type and allows for a more integrated and complete experience of human capacities.
Be mindful not to use Enneagram knowledge to reinforce your self-concept or strengthen ego defenses. The true purpose is to work through these defenses and allow the system to do its “magic” of self-discovery.
Understand that while Enneagram basics can be learned quickly, true mastery and usefulness in helping others require a long time and apprenticeship. This perspective encourages humility and patience, preventing superficial application and strengthening ego defenses.
Cultivate humility and patience when learning complex systems like the Enneagram. Mastery takes a long time, and a humble approach prevents superficial understanding.
Refrain from “busting” people on their Enneagram type or presuming you know their truth. It is considered rude and presumptuous, and you may not accurately know their type.
Do not instantly assume your Enneagram type based on attributes you like or common experiences like childhood suffering. This can lead to incorrect self-identification and prevent the Enneagram from truly helping you.
Take the first step towards self-discovery by acknowledging that you don’t fully know who you are. This acknowledgment is a crucial step into understanding your true self, transforming shame into a drive towards truth and freedom.
Learn to be in touch with your anger, allowing it to be felt in the body rather than instantly acted out. This process transmutes anger into empowerment, confidence, the ability to take a stand, and to speak your truth.
When experiencing anxiety, presence it by being with it in your body, heart, and mind. This practice transmutes anxiety into awakeness and focused attention, rather than allowing it to manifest as restless thoughts or sleeplessness.
When feeling anxious, consciously breathe. Breathing through anxiety can help relax the tense, reactive parts of it, transforming it into awareness and lucidity.
Learn to be with your own and others’ brokenheartedness without creating negative narratives about it. This acknowledgment fosters deep human connection and allows for a sense of shared resilience despite difficulties.
Acknowledge that everyone has some degree of narcissism and examine to what extent it is running your life and what it is defending you against. This understanding helps you work with it constructively, rather than dismissing it as a “dirty word.”
Ensure your actions in the world are connected to your heart’s sense of meaning and purpose. This prevents the feeling of emptiness despite accomplishments and allows for a sense of flow and love in what you do.
Engage in thinking, realizing, and pondering with genuine curiosity, rather than from a position of skepticism. These are attributes of being more present, leading to deeper understanding and new insights.
When planning for the future, remain aware of yourself in the here and now, present with your body, breath, and the thinking process itself. This allows you to engage with future-oriented thoughts without losing your sense of presence, avoiding the error of thinking presence is a trance.
When under stress or overdoing your core type, consciously invoke the positive qualities of your “wing” types (the types on either side of your core type). This provides a necessary balance and prevents unconscious, reactive behaviors, leading to more integrated development.
When exploring your “wing” or “stress arrow” qualities, consciously acknowledge both their positive and “shadow” (difficult) aspects. This conscious acknowledgment is crucial for personal development and integrating these aspects effectively.
To attract and sustain a relationship with a healthy partner, ensure you are “ready” by engaging in self-reflection, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and doing psychological or spiritual work. This preparation enables you to engage meaningfully in conversations and navigate problems effectively when they arise.
When choosing a partner, prioritize someone who is a “healthy type” and has done psychological work. A partner on the “higher side” of any Enneagram type, who has engaged in self-work, will be a more delightful person to live with.
Observe what your partner’s “gift” (their best qualities) is to you when you are having trouble, and then try to offer some of that back to them when they are struggling. This approach helps them find their center by reminding them of themselves at their best.
When interacting with Enneagram types 8, 9, or 1 (body/belly triad), especially when they are troubled, ensure you are present in a way that honors their integrity, autonomy, and who they are. These types deeply value and respond to respect; feeling respected helps them navigate their difficulties.
When interacting with Enneagram types 2, 3, or 4 (heart triad), prioritize seeing, knowing, and validating their feelings and struggles. They need to feel seen, understood, and accepted before they can engage in problem-solving or deeper discussions.
For Enneagram types 5, 6, or 7 (head triad), be a steady and consistent presence, acting as an ally without approaching too closely, withdrawing, taking over, fixing, or abandoning them. They need to know you are there and not leaving them, allowing them to work things out independently while feeling supported.
Cultivate the ability to communicate in multiple “languages”: logical/rational, inspiring/reassuring, and real/authentic (expressing what’s truly going on inside). This skill is essential for effective human communication, especially in organizations, allowing you to connect with people who value different response types.
Analyze your group or organization to identify which Enneagram-related capacities are strong, lagging, or absent. Addressing neglected capacities prevents future problems and ensures a more balanced and effective group dynamic.