Implement the TRICK philosophy in all relationships (parenting, teaching, management): foster Trust, show Respect, encourage Independence, promote Collaboration, and act with Kindness, as these principles build self-belief and positive outcomes.
Engage in collaborative parenting by involving children in decision-making and household responsibilities, treating them as team members, which fosters self-regulation and a sense of belonging.
Instead of constantly dictating, provide children with opportunities to generate their own ideas, fostering their ability to think and act independently.
Trust children to complete tasks independently (e.g., cleaning their room, making a sandwich) and play unsupervised, as this builds their self-belief and prevents over-reliance on parental help.
Allow children to participate in creating rules, both at home and in the classroom, as this makes them more likely to adhere to the rules without constant enforcement because they have ownership.
When setting rules, especially around technology use, explain the “why” behind them (e.g., impact on brain, eyesight, exercise) so children understand the reasons, which helps them develop self-control as they age.
Show respect for children’s ideas, even “wacky” ones, by engaging in collaborative decision-making, such as allowing them to pursue their interest for a set time, followed by an activity you suggest, fostering mutual respect.
Allow children age-appropriate independence, such as letting older children shop alone with a credit card or get a haircut by themselves, to foster self-reliance and decision-making skills.
Recognize that the habits and patterns instilled in children through daily tasks are training for life, shaping their behavior as teenagers and adults, so teach them to complete tasks before moving to the next step.
Ensure children learn essential life skills like laundry and managing finances before adulthood, as parents often contribute to dependency by doing everything for them.
Enforce household responsibilities by linking their completion to desired next activities (e.g., “we can’t go until your room is clean”), helping children form habits and understand that certain tasks are prerequisites for future enjoyment.
For non-dangerous situations, allow children to experience natural consequences (e.g., going outside without a jacket in the cold) to learn from their actions, while always protecting them from truly unsafe situations like running into the street.
Encourage continuous learning and improvement by removing penalties for revision, allowing students to resubmit work until it’s correct without negative grade impacts, which fosters perseverance.
Provide support and constructive criticism by asking guiding questions (e.g., “Did you think about this?”) and offering help when requested, rather than unsolicited or overly critical feedback, empowering individuals to rethink their work.
Combat the fear of failure in teams or organizations by openly discussing it, creating a culture where taking risks and making mistakes are accepted and even celebrated for the learning they provide, not just for one-off events but as an ongoing practice.
Develop critical thinking skills not just by reading and analyzing stories or doing math, but primarily by actively engaging in tasks that require daily critical analysis, such as journalism (analyzing data, verifying sources, discerning truth).
For parents, an easy way to foster critical thinking is to read books with children and then discuss the characters’ decisions, analyzing whether they were good or bad choices and why.
When reading literature, especially works like “1984,” actively seek connections between the book’s themes and current world events or policies, and discuss their impact to deepen understanding and critical thinking.
Emphasize the importance of face-to-face relationships over digital interactions for children, as direct human connection is crucial for learning empathy and building meaningful bonds.
Actively seek opportunities for real-world interaction with diverse people to observe their emotions and perspectives, which is essential for developing empathy by putting yourself in their shoes.
Practice empathy by choosing to care for and beautify things that are overlooked or “imperfect” (like a lopsided Christmas tree), teaching that with love and support, anything can be made great.
Live by the core principle of treating all people with kindness and respect, recognizing that this value is fundamental across diverse religions and cultures.
Encourage children to grow up interacting with people from diverse ethnicities and cultures, as early exposure helps them understand shared humanity and build bridges across differences.
Actively appreciate the diversity of the world and recognize the immigrant heritage of the United States, treating all refugees and immigrants with dignity and respect.
Advocate for public schools to adopt the TRICK philosophy (Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness) for all students, as this approach is crucial for developing well-adjusted citizens in a democratic society.
Prevent negative societal outcomes, such as violence, by consistently treating all children with the TRICK philosophy (Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness), fostering happy, well-adjusted individuals.
Do not give children a phone until at least age five, and avoid using electronic devices to entertain small children (0-5 years old), as this hinders the development of creativity and interaction skills.
Empower children to collaboratively create their own rules for technology usage, as their self-imposed guidelines (e.g., “no phones from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.”) are often stricter and more effectively followed than parent-imposed rules.
After age five, collaboratively choose educational screen time, allowing children to select some videos while parents also select appropriate content (e.g., from Common Sense Media) to balance entertainment with learning.
Implement a system where fixed periods of screen time are followed by an equal amount of non-electronic activities, such as playing with friends or engaging in offline games, using the allure of devices to encourage diverse experiences.
Do not allow children to play violent video games; instead, actively seek out and encourage alternatives like harmless, physically active VR games or other non-violent options.
Provide young children with two or three specific choices (e.g., for meals) to empower them in decision-making, establishing a pattern of choice early on.
Collaborate with children to establish household rules and chore routines (e.g., cleaning, laundry), allowing them to contribute to decisions and fostering self-regulation as part of a family team.
Engage children in planning meals and grocery shopping, allowing them to help decide recipes and what to buy, which fosters their sense of contribution and decision-making.
Explicitly teach children practical life skills, such as how to use a credit card for purchases, to prepare them for independent adult life.
Regularly solicit anonymous feedback from those you lead (e.g., students, employees) on what is working and what isn’t, and be willing to adapt your approach based on their input to improve effectiveness and show respect.
Foster innovation by encouraging risk-taking and understanding that new ideas and progress often come from deviating from established rules, rather than strict adherence.
When communicating important lessons or ideas, use engaging stories rather than just data, as people are more likely to remember and internalize information presented in narrative form.
Grandparents should offer supportive help like babysitting but avoid dictating parenting choices or criticizing parents, as this creates friction and undermines the parents’ authority.
Grandparents should consult with parents before buying excessive gifts, instead focusing on supporting the parents’ goals and avoiding overwhelming the household with toys.
Reframe your definition of success to prioritize believing in your dreams, having supportive relationships, and feeling good about yourself, rather than solely focusing on money or titles, which often don’t lead to happiness.
Actively learn and practice how to evaluate the importance and reliability of information obtained from Google searches, a critical skill for discerning what is important from what is not.
Do not sleep with your phone, as recommended by sleep experts, because it can interfere with your sleep and contribute to phone addiction.
For every hour spent playing video games, dedicate an hour to coding games, potentially restructuring them to align with your preferences, fostering creative and technical skills.
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Read John Steinbeck’s short story “The Pearl,” especially if you are young, as it explores the consequences of wealth and provides valuable lessons.
Read the book “Failure to Launch” to understand how contemporary parenting styles contribute to young adults struggling with independence.
Read the book “Dark Horse” to gain perspective on how nonconformist children, often a source of parental worry, are frequently the ones who go on to make significant changes in the world.
Read “The Trillion Dollar Coach” by Jonathan Rosenberg and Eric Schmidt to learn how the TRICK method (Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness) can be applied in a corporate setting to effectively coach and lead employees.
Utilize Common Sense Media to review and select age-appropriate apps, movies, and electronic content for children, ensuring a balance of entertainment and educational value.