Learn to differentiate between objective facts (e.g., ‘I am divorced’) and the stories you tell yourself about them (e.g., ‘I am unlovable’), as this is crucial for mental resilience and self-perception.
Add ‘yet’ to any sentence describing something you can’t do, fostering a belief in future learning and growth, as modeled by Neil’s mother.
Identify your ‘Ikigai’ or reason for getting out of bed in the morning, and keep it visible, to provide purpose and guide your daily actions.
Instead of traditional retirement, engage in meaningful, purpose-driven activities throughout your life, whether paid or volunteer, to maintain social connection, stimulation, and a sense of story.
View past traumatic experiences as ‘steps’ towards a better future rather than an end, helping you process and move beyond adversity.
Perceive work and life not as a balance with trade-offs, but as a ‘flywheel’ where energy invested in one area fuels and enhances the other.
Start each day by writing down three things: ‘I will let go of’ (anxiety), ‘I am grateful for’ (specific gratitude), and ‘I will focus on’ (one key task), to provide clarity, healing, and a positive path.
Actively incorporate practices like nature walks, journaling, meditation, reading fiction, and gratitude into your routine, as these are scientifically proven to increase happiness.
Give your phone to someone else on Friday night and retrieve it on Monday, creating a period of disconnection to foster deeper real-world connections and reduce addiction.
Put away your phone when with your children to be fully present, foster connection, and prevent disengagement.
Block out one full day per week as ‘untouchable’ (no internet, phone, or meetings) to dedicate to deep, high-impact work and significantly increase productivity.
In a corporate setting, block off mornings in your calendar for uninterrupted deep work, scheduling calls and lower-energy tasks for the afternoon.
Check emails only during specific, limited windows (e.g., 9-10 AM and 4-5 PM) to create large blocks of uninterrupted work time while maintaining the perception of being responsive.
Dedicate time to reading 20 pages of fiction from a real book daily, either to open or close your day, to open mirror neurons and enhance empathy and understanding.
Subtract 20 pages of ‘garbage’ reading (e.g., social media comments, news headlines) from your daily consumption to make time for more valuable input like fiction.
Refrain from exposing your eyes to bright screens an hour before bed to improve melatonin production, leading to more restful sleep and higher resilience the next morning.
Engage in the ‘Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud’ exercise at dinner, sharing a highlight (rose), a challenge (thorn), and something to look forward to (bud), to foster gratitude and empathy.
For parents, begin the day by cuddling with your children and discussing what they’re looking forward to and lessons from yesterday, fostering connection and reflection.
Strategically choose career environments where you can be a ‘big fish in a small pond’ (e.g., smaller, less glamorous companies) to gain more experience, influence, and boost your self-concept.
Intentionally choose activities or competitions where you can win (e.g., lowest category marathon, closest golf tees) to build confidence and momentum for continued effort.
Automate decisions that are low in time and importance (e.g., clothing choices, recurring household orders, navigation apps) to conserve decision-making energy.
Schedule time-consuming but less critical tasks (e.g., email, house repairs) into dedicated, regulated windows to prevent them from consuming your entire day.
Quickly execute decisions that are high in importance but low in time commitment (e.g., picking up kids, greeting your team) to ensure they are done efficiently.
Reserve your decision-making energy for high-importance, high-time decisions (e.g., where to live, who to marry) by freeing up mental space from smaller choices.
Establish a protocol for new relationships, such as dating for a minimum of one year before living together, and living together for a minimum of one year before marriage, to process emotions thoughtfully.
When delivering bad news, focus on being present, offering empathy, and saying less, rather than getting bogged down in detailed explanations, to support the recipient.
To gain perspective and empathy, consider the stories other people tell themselves about themselves, as this is key to understanding their behavior and worldview.
Keep a ‘death clock’ (expected lifespan minus current age in days) visible to serve as an empowering reminder of finite time, motivating you to take action and prioritize living.
Allocate tasks that you dislike or that require less mental energy (e.g., administrative calls, meetings) to the afternoon when your energy levels are naturally lower.
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