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#72 Neil Pasricha: Happy Habits

Dec 24, 2019 1h 44m 31 insights
Author and happiness expert Neil Pasricha shares the recipe for resilience, an antidote for anxiety, and how his two minute morning routine primes each day for success.   Go Premium: Members get early access, ad-free episodes, hand-edited transcripts, searchable transcripts, member-only episodes, and more. Sign up at: https://fs.blog/membership/   Every Sunday our newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/   Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish
Actionable Insights

1. Distinguish Facts from Stories

Learn to differentiate between objective facts (e.g., ‘I am divorced’) and the stories you tell yourself about them (e.g., ‘I am unlovable’), as this is crucial for mental resilience and self-perception.

2. Adopt a “Yet” Mindset

Add ‘yet’ to any sentence describing something you can’t do, fostering a belief in future learning and growth, as modeled by Neil’s mother.

3. Define Your Life’s Purpose (Ikigai)

Identify your ‘Ikigai’ or reason for getting out of bed in the morning, and keep it visible, to provide purpose and guide your daily actions.

4. Pursue Lifelong Meaningful Work

Instead of traditional retirement, engage in meaningful, purpose-driven activities throughout your life, whether paid or volunteer, to maintain social connection, stimulation, and a sense of story.

5. Reframe Traumatic Experiences

View past traumatic experiences as ‘steps’ towards a better future rather than an end, helping you process and move beyond adversity.

6. Embrace the Work-Life Flywheel

Perceive work and life not as a balance with trade-offs, but as a ‘flywheel’ where energy invested in one area fuels and enhances the other.

7. Practice Two-Minute Mornings

Start each day by writing down three things: ‘I will let go of’ (anxiety), ‘I am grateful for’ (specific gratitude), and ‘I will focus on’ (one key task), to provide clarity, healing, and a positive path.

8. Engage in Intentional Happiness Activities

Actively incorporate practices like nature walks, journaling, meditation, reading fiction, and gratitude into your routine, as these are scientifically proven to increase happiness.

9. Implement a Weekend Phone Detox

Give your phone to someone else on Friday night and retrieve it on Monday, creating a period of disconnection to foster deeper real-world connections and reduce addiction.

10. Avoid Phone Use Around Kids

Put away your phone when with your children to be fully present, foster connection, and prevent disengagement.

11. Schedule Weekly Untouchable Days

Block out one full day per week as ‘untouchable’ (no internet, phone, or meetings) to dedicate to deep, high-impact work and significantly increase productivity.

12. Block Off Mornings for Deep Work

In a corporate setting, block off mornings in your calendar for uninterrupted deep work, scheduling calls and lower-energy tasks for the afternoon.

13. Batch Email Checking

Check emails only during specific, limited windows (e.g., 9-10 AM and 4-5 PM) to create large blocks of uninterrupted work time while maintaining the perception of being responsive.

14. Read 20 Pages of Fiction

Dedicate time to reading 20 pages of fiction from a real book daily, either to open or close your day, to open mirror neurons and enhance empathy and understanding.

15. Reduce “Garbage” Reading

Subtract 20 pages of ‘garbage’ reading (e.g., social media comments, news headlines) from your daily consumption to make time for more valuable input like fiction.

16. Avoid Bright Screens Before Bed

Refrain from exposing your eyes to bright screens an hour before bed to improve melatonin production, leading to more restful sleep and higher resilience the next morning.

17. Practice Dinner Table Gratitude

Engage in the ‘Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud’ exercise at dinner, sharing a highlight (rose), a challenge (thorn), and something to look forward to (bud), to foster gratitude and empathy.

18. Start Day with Kids’ Cuddle

For parents, begin the day by cuddling with your children and discussing what they’re looking forward to and lessons from yesterday, fostering connection and reflection.

19. Seek “Small Ponds” for Career

Strategically choose career environments where you can be a ‘big fish in a small pond’ (e.g., smaller, less glamorous companies) to gain more experience, influence, and boost your self-concept.

20. Rig Games to Build Confidence

Intentionally choose activities or competitions where you can win (e.g., lowest category marathon, closest golf tees) to build confidence and momentum for continued effort.

21. Automate Low-Importance Decisions

Automate decisions that are low in time and importance (e.g., clothing choices, recurring household orders, navigation apps) to conserve decision-making energy.

22. Regulate High-Time, Low-Importance Tasks

Schedule time-consuming but less critical tasks (e.g., email, house repairs) into dedicated, regulated windows to prevent them from consuming your entire day.

23. Effectuate Important, Quick Decisions

Quickly execute decisions that are high in importance but low in time commitment (e.g., picking up kids, greeting your team) to ensure they are done efficiently.

24. Debate High-Importance Decisions

Reserve your decision-making energy for high-importance, high-time decisions (e.g., where to live, who to marry) by freeing up mental space from smaller choices.

25. Implement Paced Relationship Progression

Establish a protocol for new relationships, such as dating for a minimum of one year before living together, and living together for a minimum of one year before marriage, to process emotions thoughtfully.

26. Prioritize Empathy Delivering Bad News

When delivering bad news, focus on being present, offering empathy, and saying less, rather than getting bogged down in detailed explanations, to support the recipient.

27. Understand Others’ Self-Narratives

To gain perspective and empathy, consider the stories other people tell themselves about themselves, as this is key to understanding their behavior and worldview.

28. Use a “Death Clock” for Motivation

Keep a ‘death clock’ (expected lifespan minus current age in days) visible to serve as an empowering reminder of finite time, motivating you to take action and prioritize living.

29. Schedule Low-Energy Tasks Afternoon

Allocate tasks that you dislike or that require less mental energy (e.g., administrative calls, meetings) to the afternoon when your energy levels are naturally lower.

30. Subscribe to “Brain Food” Newsletter

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31. Explore Past Podcast Episodes

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