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#61 Jonathan Haidt: When Good Intentions Go Bad

Jul 2, 2019 1h 16m 11 insights
Jonathan Haidt is an author, social psychologist and one of the world’s leading experts in moral psychology. On the show we discuss helicopter parenting, the rise of the “call out culture,” and the dangers of social media.   Go Premium: Members get early access, ad-free episodes, hand-edited transcripts, searchable transcripts, member-only episodes, and more. Sign up at: https://fs.blog/membership/   Every Sunday our newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/   Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish
Actionable Insights

1. Restrict Kids’ Social Media

Parents should prevent children from having social media accounts until high school, ideally age 16, and limit total screen time to two hours daily (excluding homework). This is crucial because social media is strongly linked to a severe mental health crisis in youth, particularly girls, leading to increased depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide.

2. Allow Kids Unsupervised Play

Let children, especially between ages 7-12, have unsupervised free play and adventures with other kids in physically safe environments. This allows them to learn from mistakes and develop crucial social skills and independence through experience, which is far more effective than being told facts.

3. Teach Kids to Fail

Allow children to experience the natural consequences of their mistakes, such as forgetting homework, rather than always intervening to prevent failure. This approach, exemplified by “let him make his mistakes, let him suffer the consequences,” is essential for them to learn effectively from feedback and develop resilience.

4. Learn Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Actively learn and apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, such as recognizing and countering cognitive distortions like catastrophizing or black-and-white thinking. CBT is highly effective in improving mental health, beating depression, and enhancing overall thinking, even for those not clinically depressed.

5. Seek Out Intellectual Critics

Actively seek out and welcome critics or people who hold counter-arguments to your own ideas. Engaging with those who disagree is the only way to strengthen your own thinking and avoid intellectual stagnation, as “he who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.”

6. Practice Constructive Disagreement

When disagreeing, start by finding common ground or acknowledging valid points from the other person before introducing your counter-argument. This approach, as taught by Dale Carnegie, makes you much more likely to persuade and engage in productive dialogue.

7. Cultivate Intellectual Virtues

Develop intellectual humility, generosity of spirit, and the habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt, rather than being overconfident. These virtues are essential for discussing and debating ideas without taking them personally, fostering a healthier intellectual environment.

8. Avoid Victimhood Labeling

Be cautious about allowing or encouraging yourself or others to adopt labels like “victim” or “traumatized” for general unpleasant experiences. This practice can be disempowering and contributes to a culture that inadvertently celebrates weakness.

9. Foster Workplace Forgiveness

In organizations, leaders should encourage giving colleagues the benefit of the doubt and addressing interpersonal conflicts informally, rather than immediately resorting to bureaucratic procedures. This helps counter call-out culture, promotes cooperation, and allows for mistakes and forgiveness.

10. Practice Two-Sided Argumentation

Practice making the case for both sides of an argument, not just your own, as is common in some high school curricula. This skill helps you understand different perspectives deeply and strengthens your overall argumentative abilities, as you hear views from those who genuinely believe them.

11. Utilize Open Mind Platform

For groups struggling with political polarization and division, use resources like the Open Mind Platform (openmindplatform.org). This platform helps people learn to talk across differences, give others the benefit of the doubt, and ask questions constructively, improving organizational dynamics.