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#24 Susan Cain: Leading the Quiet Revolution

Nov 1, 2017 57m 59s 26 insights
For decades, introversion was looked at as something to overcome, almost like an illness. The way to win in life was through charisma, outspokenness, and self-promotion. Even now, in an increasingly noisy world, introverts may feel added pressure to take one of two paths: force themselves into more extroverted behavior, or become even more reserved and shrink back to themselves. My guest Susan Cain says both paths are wrong and in fact, rob the world of the unique contributions introverts make when they choose to be true to themselves. Susan knows what she’s talking about. A self-proclaimed introvert, she wrote the New York Times bestselling book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking and delivered one of the most popular TED talks ever delivered, with nearly 18 million views to date. Whether you consider yourself an extrovert, an introvert, or an ambivert (those lucky bastards in the middle) you’ll find a ton of value in this interview.   Go Premium: Members get early access, ad-free episodes, hand-edited transcripts, searchable transcripts, member-only episodes, and more. Sign up at: https://fs.blog/membership/   Every Sunday our newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/   Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish
Actionable Insights

1. Cultivate Empathy & Connection

Cultivate empathy by recognizing the beauty and fragility in yourself and others, imagining the unseen struggles of everyone you encounter to foster a more loving perspective.

2. Practice “Subtitle” Awareness

When observing people, imagine they each have a “subtitle” revealing their personal struggles, as this practice fosters empathy and a more open perspective.

3. Define Meaningful Life

Focus on “love and work” (broadly defined as your life’s contribution and what you truly love to do) as the core components of a meaningful life.

4. Maintain Private Diary

Keep a private, uncensored diary to honestly express your thoughts, feelings, fears, and dislikes, fostering self-truth and awareness.

5. Leverage Envy for Self-Discovery

Pay attention to what you envy, as it can reveal your true desires and guide you toward what you genuinely want in your own life.

6. Leverage Obsession for Self-Discovery

Reflect on your obsessions with people or things, as they often indicate qualities or experiences you desire but lack in your own life.

7. Strategic Out-of-Character Acting

Step outside your comfort zone strategically for core personal projects, then return to a “restorative niche” to recharge and be yourself.

8. Schedule & Honor Downtime

Schedule and honor downtime for restoration as strictly as professional appointments, especially after demanding social or professional activities.

9. Tune into Stimulation Needs

Pay attention to your varying daily need for stimulation (more or less) and honor those feelings to consistently reach your “sweet spot” of energy and happiness.

10. Understand True Nature

Differentiate between learned skills and true nature by reflecting on how you’d spend time without social or professional obligations.

11. Teach Life’s Mixed Nature

Teach children that life is inherently mixed with good and bad days, and joy and upset, to help them build resilience and not be surprised by difficulties.

12. Guide Through Upsetting Moments

Guide children through difficult moments by acknowledging their feelings, encouraging deep breaths, and reassuring them that the moment will naturally pass.

13. Foster Team Personality Awareness

Encourage your team to take a personality test and discuss how different personality types impact individual work preferences, fostering mutual understanding.

14. Conduct “I Wish You Knew”

Implement an “I Wish You Knew” exercise where team members share what they wish colleagues understood about their work preferences, creating psychological safety for open dialogue.

15. Hire for Team Balance

When building a team, aim for a mix of introverts and extroverts to ensure a balance of energy, thorough thinking, and effective decision-making.

16. Frame Relationship Dynamics

Frame relationship conflicts (e.g., differing preferences) through the lens of introversion/extroversion to legitimize differing needs and facilitate resolution.

17. Mindful Social Contact

Be mindful of your social contact levels, especially when working remotely, and proactively seek social interaction before your mood declines, as everyone needs it.

18. Combat Social Media Envy

Counter social media envy by reminding yourself that online portrayals are unrealistic and curated, and limit your time on social media.

19. Design Flexible Workplaces

Design workplaces with flexibility, allowing employees to choose between private spaces for focused work and open communal spaces for collaboration based on their needs.

20. Use Headphones in Open Offices

Use headphones in open office environments to block noise and signal to colleagues that you are focused and prefer not to be interrupted.

21. Schedule Breaks from Open Office

Schedule necessary breaks, such as walks, or negotiate remote work days with your boss to gain needed quiet time away from open office distractions.

22. Utilize Quiet Office Hours

Arrive early or stay late at the office to utilize quieter times for focused work, especially if private spaces are otherwise unavailable during peak hours.

23. Communicate Need for Space

Communicate your need for personal space (e.g., a walk) to close family members, especially if you’re an introvert, to ensure your needs are understood and met.

24. Seek Creative Inspiration Broadly

Actively seek inspiration from all forms of creativity around you, including books, music, and movies, to fuel your own creative endeavors.

25. Block Time for Core Activities

Structure your day by doing things in blocks of time, dedicating specific periods to core activities like reading, writing, researching, and personal interests.

26. Flexible Reading Approach

Adopt a flexible approach to reading: read whatever strikes your fancy, go cover-to-cover if you love it, or switch to something else if it doesn’t engage you.