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#127 Best of 2021: Conversations of the Year

Dec 21, 2021 1h 49m 54 insights
The Knowledge Project closes 2021 with a look back at some of the best conversations of the year. Featuring interviews from 10 of the most downloaded and acclaimed episodes of 2021, this collection of conversations offers a variety of insights into how to make crucial decisions, how to spark creativity, the best ways to avoid distraction, how to deal with loneliness, what traits to look for in a leader, the value of re-thinking your position, the importance of personal relationships, and much more.   Guests on this episode include: business leader Kat Cole, NBA basketball player Chris Bosh, loneliness expert Noreena Hertz, organizational psychologist Adam Grant, NASA astrophysicist Thomas Zurbuchen, video game expert Jane McGonigal, author Nir Eyal, author and entrepreneur Seth Godin, psychologist Angela Duckworth, and business expert Jim Collins.   -- Want even more? Members get early access, hand-edited transcripts, member-only episodes, and so much more. Learn more here: https://fs.blog/membership/ Every Sunday our Brain Food newsletter shares timeless insights and ideas that you can use at work and home. Add it to your inbox: https://fs.blog/newsletter/ Follow Shane on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/ShaneAParrish
Actionable Insights

1. Anchor Identity to Values

Define your identity by core values like generosity and integrity, rather than specific beliefs, to remain flexible and open to rethinking your methods and ideas.

2. Cultivate an Agentic Mindset

Adopt an active, agentic mindset, believing you have control over your behavior and performance, rather than passively letting life happen to you.

3. Prioritize Outcome Over Ego

Focus on achieving the best possible outcome by seeking out the best ideas, rather than letting personal ego dictate your approach or prevent you from changing your mind.

4. Master Internal Triggers

Understand that distraction primarily stems from internal triggers like boredom or anxiety, and effectively managing these emotional discomforts is key to time management.

5. Prioritize Relationships Over Transactions

Focus on cultivating deep, meaningful relationships rather than merely transactional interactions, as this approach leads to a more fulfilling and great life.

6. Lead with an Opening Bid of Trust

Begin new relationships with an assumption of trust, as this approach attracts high-quality individuals and often encourages them to act in trustworthy ways.

7. Embrace a ‘Figure It Out’ Mindset

Adopt the mindset that you can figure things out, even if you don’t initially know what you’re doing, to overcome challenges and grow.

8. Cultivate Intellectual Humility

Embrace intellectual humility by acknowledging what you don’t know, which fosters doubt in convictions, sparks curiosity, and opens your mind to continuous learning.

9. Harness Discomfort for Traction

View discomfort not as something to avoid, but as a powerful motivator to drive you towards intentional actions and progress, rather than seeking distraction.

10. Build Mastery Through Struggle

Develop confidence and a sense of agency by actively seeking and overcoming challenges, as true mastery comes from success achieved after struggle.

11. Choose Creativity Through Empathy

Embrace creativity as a choice by investing emotional labor to deeply understand and serve your audience, daring to create something new even if its success is uncertain.

12. Scrutinize Irreversible Decisions

For irreversible, ‘one-way door’ decisions, assemble diverse experts, empower the team, and conduct exhaustive scrutiny upfront to ensure a well-informed choice.

13. Define and Meet Work Specifications

Clearly define the specifications (‘spec’) for your work; quality means meeting this spec, and once it’s ‘good enough’ (meets spec), ship it, or revise the spec if needed.

14. Control Your Response to Feelings

Recognize that while you cannot control your feelings or urges, you can control your response to them; choose healthy actions that move you towards your goals.

15. Modify Your Situation for Goals

Actively change your environment and situation to support your goals and self-control, rather than solely relying on willpower (e.g., remove distractions from your study space).

16. Define Conditions for Rethinking

When forming an opinion, create a list of specific conditions that would cause you to change your mind, preventing you from clinging to beliefs that no longer serve you.

17. Welcome Worries from Team

As a leader, foster an environment where your team feels comfortable bringing you worries and risks, as this transparency is crucial for effective problem-solving and decision-making.

18. Believe in Others’ Potential

See people for their potential and possibilities, as they are more likely to live up to it, and the occasional disappointment is a small price for the overall upside.

19. Practice Customer Service Judo

When dealing with difficult customers or situations, use their energy in a ‘giving way’ rather than fighting, to disarm them and resolve the issue creatively.

20. Prioritize Dependability

Ensure you show up on time and are dependable, as it is crucial for receiving more opportunities and not negatively impacting your team.

21. Embrace Tough Situations

When facing difficult moments, refuse to quit and instead increase your effort, as this attitude is a key differentiator for championship teams.

22. Acknowledge Loss, Aim for Win

Recognize that a loss is simply a loss, take lessons from it, and cultivate an attitude that focuses on going for the win in future endeavors.

23. Qualities of an Effective Coach

To be an effective coach, be prepared with a game plan but flexible enough to deviate, connect and communicate effectively with all team members, and ensure everyone is aligned.

24. Reduce Social Media Use

Consider reducing time on social media platforms like Facebook, as studies suggest it can decrease loneliness and increase in-person interactions and happiness.

25. Be Present, Limit Device Presence

When with others, be fully present and limit the physical presence of devices, as even a turned-off smartphone can reduce empathy and connection.

26. Redefine Support Networks

Redefine your support networks to value friendships as much as blood ties, and actively invest time and effort into nurturing these relationships.

27. Prioritize and Nurture Friendships

Make a conscious effort to prioritize and invest time in nurturing your friendships, as these relationships require consistent care to thrive.

28. Talk Openly About Loneliness

Engage in open conversations about loneliness to help destigmatize it, as acknowledging it is a crucial step towards addressing its widespread impact.

29. Voice Opinions Responsibly

If you choose to voice an opinion, accept the responsibility to be open to changing your mind when presented with better logic or stronger data.

30. Justify Decisions in Hindsight

Before making a significant decision, mentally prepare to explain it in a worst-case scenario (e.g., after a failure), ensuring your reasoning is sound and defensible.

31. Listen for Unspoken Cues

In high-stakes decision-making, pay close attention to what is not being said, as well as warning signs like leaders suppressing dissent or recurring ‘stupid’ mistakes.

32. Avoid Rushing Key Decisions

If you feel unsure about a critical decision, take a break to gain clarity and do not allow yourself to be pushed into a choice, even if it means delaying the process.

33. Disseminate Decision-Making Process

Actively share your decision-making process with your team by explaining your reasoning and the scrutiny involved, fostering rigor and shared understanding within the organization.

34. Leverage Games for Life Skills

Recognize that playing any game you enjoy can build transferable skills like learning new things, adapting to challenges, and fostering a resilient growth mindset.

35. Ask 3 Game Reflection Questions

To transfer game benefits to real life, ask yourself or your kids: ‘What does it take to be good at this game?’, ‘What have you gotten better at?’, and ‘What’s the hardest thing you’ve accomplished?’

36. Limit Gaming to Under 21 Hours/Week

Be mindful of gaming time, as playing more than 21 hours per week has been observed as a tipping point where it can negatively affect physical or mental health.

37. Game Before Study for Retention

To enhance learning retention, play video games before doing homework or studying, ensuring your brain focuses on academic material rather than game challenges before sleep.

38. Game Before Bed for Trauma

If experiencing flashbacks, rumination, or nightmares, play a visually engaging game (like Tetris) right before bed to hijack your attention and reduce negative thoughts or dreams.

39. Curate Games for Specific Benefits

Intentionally choose and play games that offer specific benefits, such as managing anxiety or improving focus, to create a personalized ‘game library’ for different needs.

40. Distinguish Traction from Distraction

Clearly define traction as intentional actions aligned with your goals, and distraction as actions pulling you away from your plans, recognizing that any activity can be either based on intent.

41. Schedule ‘Wasted’ Time

Intentionally schedule time for activities often considered ‘wasted,’ like social media or video games, as planned leisure becomes traction rather than unplanned distraction.

42. Overcome Fear of Short-Term Folly

Be willing to appear foolish or make mistakes in the short term, as overcoming this fear is crucial for achieving significant long-term success.

43. Trust Your Intuitive Voice

Employ techniques like morning pages to quiet your inner critic and allow your more curious, intuitive self to express ideas, even if they seem unconventional.

44. Love What You Do (Be Professional)

Approach your work professionally by making and keeping promises, continuously learning the state of the art, and focusing on the specific positive change you aim to create for others.

45. Adopt a Work ‘Uniform’

Use a physical or mental ‘uniform’ to signal the start of your work, helping you to focus, meet deadlines, and adhere to budgets, much like a professional.

46. Avoid Perfectionism, Ship When Ready

Resist the urge to hide behind perfectionism; instead, define clear specifications for your work and ship it once those are met, valuing timely completion over unattainable flawlessness.

47. Work with Clear Intent

Approach your work with clear intent, dedicating specific time and focus to solve problems or generate ideas, even if the breakthrough seems spontaneous.

48. Focus on Controllable Actions

Direct your energy and attention towards the aspects of your life and behavior that you can directly control, rather than external outcomes.

49. Control Your Reaction to Events

Recognize that you have a degree of control over your reaction to challenging or uncontrollable events, and take responsibility for that response.

50. Seek Mentors for Challenge Setting

Actively seek out mentors or coaches who can provide an objective perspective and help you identify and set appropriately sized challenges for your growth.

51. Give More in Relationships

Approach relationships with a mindset of giving more than you take, which allows both parties to feel they benefit most and strengthens the connection.

52. Trust, But Avoid Catastrophe

While maintaining an opening bid of trust, remain vigilant and avoid leaving yourself exposed to catastrophic risks, such as neglecting critical oversight.

53. Forgive Non-Malicious Actions

Practice forgiveness for actions that are not driven by malicious intent, understanding that mistakes, misunderstandings, or incompetence can cause issues.

54. See the Hat (Contextualize Actions)

Before making judgments about someone’s actions, consider that you might not have the full context or ‘see the hat,’ leading to more understanding and less premature negative conclusions.