Cultivate self-discipline to actively control the one life you have, as failing to do so means allowing external forces to dictate your path, which is a profound waste.
Regularly imagine losing things you take for granted (e.g., loved ones, health, job) for a fleeting moment. This practice fosters profound gratitude for what you currently possess, preventing complacency and enhancing joy.
Categorize aspects of your life into things you have complete control over, some control over, or no control over. Direct your energy and attention solely to the things you can influence, as worrying about uncontrollables is a waste of time and energy.
Actively select and define your personal values and life goals, as these are within your control. Subsequently, develop a clear strategy to achieve these chosen aspirations.
Recognize that much of your unhappiness is self-inflicted and stems from your state of mind. Reframe challenging events as ’tests’ to find workarounds and extract positive lessons, rather than letting them trigger negative emotions.
Upon noticing the earliest signs of anger, give yourself five seconds to reframe the situation. This brief pause can prevent the anger from fully igniting and becoming deeply entrenched.
When confronting a setback, aim to achieve two things: first, find a successful workaround to overcome the challenge, and second, and more importantly, prevent yourself from becoming angry or upset while working towards the solution.
Understand that your emotional response to a setback often causes more harm than the setback itself. Prevent self-inflicted damage by not allowing a flood of negative emotions to take over.
Savor and embrace what life offers without becoming addicted or clinging to it. Maintain a mindset of preparedness for things to take a turn for the worse, which paradoxically enhances appreciation.
Act as an ’emotional prepper’ by mentally preparing for things to become dramatically worse or for the loss of valued possessions and relationships. This practice cultivates profound gratitude for what you currently have.
Be selective about whose praise you value; celebrate it from designated mentors who truly understand, but be wary of praise from others whose values you do not understand or agree with.
Recognize ‘anti-mentors’ as individuals with radically different values than your own. Their criticism can be a positive sign that you are not playing their game, and their praise might indicate you are doing something wrong according to your own values.
Understand your own psychological reactions and proactively shape your environment to avoid unnecessary negative influences, such as limiting exposure to social media if you know it triggers negative responses.
Consciously manage your exposure to individuals who are not beneficial or are actively harmful to you. If you willingly expose yourself to such people, you bear responsibility for the consequences.
View the capacity to fail as an admirable sign that you are attempting difficult tasks. Recognize that failure is an inevitable and valuable part of challenging yourself and growing.
If you find yourself never failing, actively seek out and switch to tasks that are genuinely hard for you. This pushes your boundaries and fosters personal development.
Engage in challenging activities that force you to confront and overcome internal voices that encourage quitting or slowing down. This builds mental resilience and self-control.
Avoid succumbing to internal voices that urge you to quit, as giving in empowers them and makes it significantly harder to resist in future challenges.
For relatives you cannot choose but find difficult, sometimes the best solution is to maintain a respectful distance. When interactions are unavoidable, remind yourself that their behavior is simply ‘what they do’ and may be beyond their control.
When insulted, either use humor to deflect or, more effectively, offer no response at all. This demonstrates that their words have no power over you, as they are ‘simply words’.
Allow children, especially teenagers, to experience psychological challenges and irritants. This exposure is crucial for developing a robust ‘psychological immune system’ and effective coping strategies.
For decision-making, first separate controllable from uncontrollable elements, focusing on the former. Then, invest quality time brainstorming and mapping out all possible options, including unconventional ones, to ensure you consider the optimal choice.
Cultivate a mind that is simultaneously skeptical (to filter out false beliefs) and open-minded (to accept new, true, and useful beliefs). Acknowledge that many of your existing beliefs may be mistaken.
Actively combat confirmation bias by not only being open to new ideas but also deliberately exploring them. Seek out evidence that might challenge your existing beliefs, rather than just confirming them.
Actively engage with intelligent and articulate individuals who hold opposing viewpoints. Listen carefully with the genuine intention to learn from them, rather than to refute or disprove their arguments.