← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

You Only Live Once... So Commit

Oct 17, 2022 31m 38s 6 insights
<p>YOLO seems like the perfect rock 'n' roll philosophy. You only live once... so do whatever seems right in the moment. Be spontaneous. Quit your job; find a new person to date; and always, <em>always</em> keep your options open.   </p> <p>We all fear getting stuck in the wrong occupation, relationship or home - so shun fully committing to anything. But we're misguided. The man who coined the term YOLO - the Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart - tells Dr Laurie Santos that throwing yourself fully into a life choice is the best way to live our precious life. </p> <p>Further reading:</p> <p>Pete Davis - <em>Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing.</em></p> <p>Dan Gilbert -  <em>Stumbling on Happiness.</em></p> <p>Barry Schwartz - <em>The Paradox of Choice.</em></p> <p>Further Listening:</p> <p>Try Mickey Hart's new album with Planet Drum <em>“In the Groove"</em>.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Long-Term Commitment

Actively choose to commit to a particular thing, place, profession, or person, and consciously close off other options. This is presented as the most radical act that leads to greater happiness, authentic community, and avoids the boredom and stress of ‘infinite browsing’ and choice paralysis.

2. Shift from FOMO to FONO

Instead of fearing what you might miss out on by making a choice (FOMO), cultivate a fear of not committing (FONO). The greatest opportunities for joy, depth, and mastery come from long-term dedication, not from keeping all options open indefinitely.

3. Harness Your Psychological Immune System

Understand that your brain’s ‘psychological immune system’ helps you rationalize and feel good about decisions once they are made and irreversible. Use this knowledge to be braver in making commitments, as your mind will unconsciously adapt to make you happier with your chosen path.

4. Redefine YOLO as Dedication

Reclaim the ‘You Only Live Once’ mantra to mean dedicating yourself wholeheartedly to the things you love for the long haul, rather than acting impulsively or switching tracks frequently. This deep commitment is a ‘soul thing’ that opens up fantastic new doors and provides a spiritual compass.

5. Commit for Purpose and Community

Make long-term commitments to break through choice paralysis, rewire your identity with purpose, and replace spiritual isolation with a community of friends and colleagues. This dedication allows you to know the details of a corner of the world, making it come alive.

6. Cultivate Presence for Happiness

Strive to be fully present in the now, in the moment, as this is the path to happiness and true living. Being in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or future, will eventually lead to marvelous and magnificent experiences.