Let go of perfectionism regarding shared meals, understanding that a five-minute dinner with a toddler or a meal not made from scratch is still valuable. Focus on consistency and giving yourself grace rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.
Recognize family mealtime as a rich and reliable opportunity to connect, relax, and share stories, which offers significant nutritional, cognitive, and mental health benefits for both children and adults. Make it a priority to harness these research-backed advantages.
Broaden your definition of ‘family’ to include anyone who makes you feel at home or provides community, such as friends or colleagues, and expand ‘dinner’ to include breakfast, brunch, or even intentional snacks. This creates more opportunities for shared meals throughout the week.
Adapt meal times to fit busy schedules, such as having ‘split shift’ dinners or flexible courses where different family members eat at different times. This allows everyone to participate in some part of a shared meal, even if not simultaneously.
Shift your attention from the food itself to the quality of conversation and the enjoyment of gathering around the table. Cultivate a positive and engaging atmosphere, as this ‘secret sauce’ is more important than culinary perfection.
Organize with other parents to collectively ask coaches or activity directors to adjust schedules, making it easier for children to be home for shared meals. Parents have the power to influence extracurricular activities to prioritize family time.
Utilize easy recipes (e.g., 8 ingredients or less, 30 minutes or less), batch cook and freeze meals, or use pre-cut vegetables and rotisserie chickens. This reduces the burden of cooking and makes shared meals more feasible.
Involve all family members, including kids and partners, in tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, setting the table, or cleaning up. Sharing responsibilities makes meal preparation more enjoyable and less of a chore for one person.
Collaborate with friends or neighbors to cook larger batches of a single meal and then swap, providing multiple different meals for the week with less individual effort. This strategy is effective for busy individuals or families.
Prepare meals where family members can assemble their own plates, such as a salad bar, tacos, or crepes, to accommodate different tastes and picky eaters. This also serves as a quick dinner option, like a charcuterie board.
Allow young children to participate in simple cooking tasks, like smearing olive oil on vegetables, even if it creates a mess. This increases their likelihood of eating healthy foods and teaches them valuable cooking skills for the future.
Parents should set an example by limiting their own gadget use at the dinner table, as they are twice as likely to use devices during meals. This encourages children to follow suit and fosters better connection.
Implement a ’no technology’ policy during meals, such as placing all phones in the middle of the table, or a flexible rule that allows tech use only for shared connection, like showing a photo or email to everyone present.
Incorporate technology into fun dinner table games, such as a ‘hot potato selfie’ where a timer is set and passed around, taking a selfie when it goes off. This uses devices to enhance connection rather than detract from it.
Understand that some conflict and tension are natural when families spend more time together, viewing dinner as a canvas for family interactions. Focus on the positive qualities that increase with more shared meals, as they outweigh the negatives.
Use games and prompts to foster laughter, conversation, and a lighter atmosphere at the dinner table. Avoid competitive games and instead opt for activities like ‘Rose, Thorn, Bud’ or ‘Two Truths and a Lie’ to encourage sharing.
Prepare whimsical, silly, or serious conversation prompts, perhaps from a ‘conversation jar,’ to encourage engagement and deeper sharing among family members. This helps move beyond simple ‘how was your day’ questions.
Invite friends over without worrying about a perfectly clean house or a gourmet meal, setting expectations that guests might help with dishes or meal prep. This reduces the burden on the host and makes shared meals more accessible.
Ask friends or guests to contribute to the meal, such as bringing a course or helping with cutting vegetables. This creates a shared experience and reduces the host’s burden, fostering a sense of collective effort.
Designate a regular ‘open dinner night’ where friends or relatives know they are welcome to drop by, even if they bring their own leftovers to microwave. This creates consistent, low-pressure opportunities for shared meals.
Participate in or organize community dinners in various settings (e.g., libraries, shelters) where families can cook, eat, and play games together. This fosters connection and allows participants to share hacks for overcoming mealtime obstacles.