Actively put yourself in uncomfortable situations, as this is where true challenge and learning occur. The fear of embarrassment often prevents big leaps, but discomfort signals to the brain that changes are needed, boosting brain plasticity.
Stop assessing potential by where you start or natural talent. Instead, focus on the distance you can travel and the progress you make, as growth is determined by effort and improvement over time, not initial aptitude.
Ensure your motivation for learning is rooted in genuine interest or a pro-social purpose, rather than external requirements. This makes the learning process more meaningful and enjoyable, leading to greater engagement.
View failure as a crucial signal for brain growth, as errors trigger neurochemical releases that reshape the brain. This indicates that the current setup is insufficient and prompts necessary changes for improvement.
Actively practice character skills like proactivity, discipline, and determination. These ‘soft skills’ are learnable capacities that significantly predict future success and can lead to substantial personal and business growth.
Be proactive in filtering feedback by considering the source’s expertise, familiarity with you, and genuine intent to help. Do not absorb all information indiscriminately, as not all critics are constructive or have your best interests at heart.
Recognize that even feedback from admired or respected individuals may reflect idiosyncratic tastes or subjective reactions. It’s acceptable to reject feedback that doesn’t resonate with your personality or goals.
When seeking input, ask ‘What’s the one thing I can do better?’ or for advice, rather than general feedback. This forward-looking approach helps you focus on future adjustments and improvement without becoming defensive or ruminating on past mistakes.
Prioritize mentors who are only a few steps ahead of you or who have struggled in the domain. They often remember the basics and the process of improvement better than top experts who may have forgotten what it’s like to be a beginner.
When teaching or mentoring, ask guiding questions that prompt individuals to come up with their own answers. This activates the ’tutor effect,’ helping them learn, remember, and build confidence by explaining concepts to themselves.
Learn to accept imperfections not essential to excellence or necessary for growth. Calibrate standards based on stakes, aiming for ‘good enough’ (e.g., a ‘seven’ or ’nine’) rather than an unattainable ‘perfect ten’ in all areas.
For important life roles like parenting, consciously define what ‘good enough’ (e.g., a ’nine’) looks like by identifying the core behaviors that truly matter. This helps manage expectations, reduces self-beratement, and promotes healthier growth.
Acknowledge that you cannot satisfy everyone’s standards or expectations. Decide which standards are most important to you and be willing to disappoint others where those standards conflict, rather than striving for universal approval.
Reach out to people who know you well and ask them to share stories about a time when you were at your best. Collect these stories, identify patterns in your strengths, and compose a self-portrait to reveal hidden potentials you might not be aware of.
Proactively write and share stories with others about a time when they were at their best. This act of friendship and investment helps them identify their hidden potential and underutilized strengths, making them more visible.
Recognize when a personal strength is being overused or misapplied in the wrong situations. The goal is not to eliminate the strength but to ensure it’s used appropriately and not excessively, which can lead to downsides.
When entering new domains or early in development, err on the side of being too open to feedback. It’s easier to learn to filter later than to regain access to information once people perceive you as unreceptive.
When learning a foreign language, overcome the fear of embarrassment and start speaking it out loud and using it as early as possible. This active engagement is the only way to truly master the language, rather than waiting to memorize everything first.