When feeling stressed, annoyed, or hurt by others’ actions, quietly say “let them” to yourself to acknowledge you cannot control them. This practice helps you reclaim control over your own reactions and well-being by accepting who they are.
After acknowledging others’ autonomy (“let them”), focus on “let me” by deciding your own thoughts, actions, and emotional processing. This empowers you to control your internal experience and responses, rather than being dictated by external factors.
Actively practice seeing situations and people as they truly are, rather than how you wish them to be or explaining away their behavior. This prevents self-blame and helps you deal with reality, fostering peace and clarity.
Value your time and energy as precious resources and actively protect them from being drained by external stressors like others’ moods or minor annoyances. This ensures you have the capacity to invest in improving your life and relationships.
Use the “let me” principle to establish clear boundaries in relationships, deciding how much time and energy to invest. Remind yourself you can disengage from conversations or situations anytime to protect your well-being.
Approach difficult conversations with compassion and truth, expressing concerns and offering support instead of avoiding them or judging others. This fosters genuine connection and allows for respectful communication of needs.
When someone is struggling, listen and validate their feelings, but focus on coaching them by expressing belief in their capacity to overcome challenges. This empowers them to find their own solutions and learn, rather than you trying to fix everything.
Reflect on whether you attribute outcomes to your own actions (internal) or external factors (external). While an internal locus is often beneficial, be mindful of self-blame and acknowledge the role of external influences when things don’t go as planned.
Become aware that behaviors like avoidance (e.g., procrastination, numbing) and anger are often misdirected forms of control. Identifying these patterns helps you understand your coping mechanisms and redirect your energy more constructively.
Strive to live a good life by genuinely showing interest in other people and their well-being, engaging with them on a personal level. This approach fosters deeper connections and enriches your interactions.