← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

The Kindness of Strangers

Sep 20, 2021 32m 25s 9 insights
<p>When Kitty Genovese was murdered, her family and the wider world was told that bystanders watched, but did nothing to intervene. Psychologists tried to explain this callous inaction with a popular theory - the "bystander effect".</p><p>Dr Laurie Santos was taught this theory - that most people won't in step help - but talking to Kitty's brother and Lady Gaga's mother she reveals that the "bystander effect" is wrong. People do like helping out, and we get a happiness boost from being kind. So how do we encourage more bystanders to intervene?</p><p> </p> Learn more about your ad-choices at <a href="https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com">https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com</a><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Embrace Helping for Happiness

Actively do nice things for other people, whether with huge acts or small gestures, because the science shows it provides a significant happiness boost, fosters social connection, and promotes a sense of purpose and meaning.

2. Ask Directly to Help

If you are uncertain about whether someone needs help, overcome this by directly asking, “I’ve noticed that you’re struggling or you look hurt. Is there anything I can do to help you?” This reduces uncertainty and encourages helping.

3. Normalize Kindness in Society

Actively communicate and demonstrate that kindness is the norm, is expected behavior, and is “cool” to reduce uncertainty and encourage more helping behavior throughout society.

4. Seize Daily Kindness Chances

Actively look for and take daily opportunities to be an active and caring bystander, such as checking on a friend, donating a few dollars, listening to someone grieving, or checking on a fellow passenger.

5. Intervene Against Bullying

Step in as a bystander when you witness a peer being bullied, as this intervention is crucial to prevent harm and support the victim.

6. Commit to Daily Kindness

Pledge to perform one random act of kindness every day for 21 days to establish kindness as a habit and make helping behavior more widespread.

7. Share Kindness Stories

Share and be reminded of stories of kindness and successful bystander intervention, as this inspires more positive actions, fosters hope, and cultivates an urge to be kinder.

8. Adopt “Step Up” Philosophy

Cultivate a personal philosophy of stepping up and helping when it’s your time, rather than passively standing by, to ensure people in need receive assistance.

9. Question Deeply for Truth

Develop a natural instinct to question deeply and get to the bottom of things, especially when faced with discrepancies, to uncover the truth and challenge prevailing narratives.