Regularly contemplate your own mortality and the temporary nature of life to foster appreciation for the present moment and motivate living a better, more attentive life. This practice helps you avoid taking things for granted and prioritize what truly matters.
Recognize that life’s unavoidable circumstances (the ‘first arrow’ of pain) are distinct from your self-inflicted suffering (the ‘second arrow’ of negative reactions like anger, rumination, or bitterness). Focus on controlling your response to events, as this is within your agency.
Actively regulate negative emotions like anger and despair, especially in challenging or ‘awful’ times, to maintain psychological bandwidth. This emotional control allows you to think clearly, find better solutions, and take effective action rather than being paralyzed by perturbation.
When setting goals, use your imagination to visualize the detailed steps, effort, and potential challenges involved in achieving them, rather than just fantasizing about the positive outcome. This helps you set more appropriate goals, prepare for the reality of the work, and sustain motivation.
Practice accepting unalterable ’taxes of life’ (e.g., delays, bad weather, human nature) without resentment or bafflement. The sooner you accept ‘it costs what it costs’ or ‘it is what it is,’ the happier you can be by not expending energy fighting unchangeable realities.
Adopt a mindset that views ‘BS’ or difficult situations as opportunities to build resilience, practice calm, and ’level up’ your character. This stance allows you to approach inconveniences with a ‘bring it’ attitude, transforming potential frustration into a chance for personal growth.
Recognize that every situation has an infinite number of interpretations or ‘handles.’ Actively choose a reference point that allows you to feel less distressed or more positive, such as comparing your current difficulty to a much worse alternative, to psychologically reset your perspective.
Consciously limit your exposure to minute-by-minute news and social media, which are often designed to trigger negative emotions and overwhelm. Aim to be sufficiently informed without being ‘destroyed’ by constant updates, and base your understanding on foundational knowledge rather than fleeting reports.
Before engaging with your phone or social media, ask yourself: ‘What for?’ (purpose), ‘Why now?’ (mindful of triggers like boredom or anxiety), and ‘What else?’ (opportunity cost). This helps break the ’trance’ of mindless scrolling and aligns your actions with higher values.
Counteract the mind’s negativity bias by actively seeking out and appreciating small, mundane ‘delights’ (e.g., a swirl in coffee, a cute cat) and moments of awe in everyday life. This includes recognizing the moral goodness and cooperation of other people, even in challenging environments.
Be mindful of ‘hyperopia’ – an over-focus on a distant, optimized future that sacrifices present well-being. Prioritize present enjoyment, social connections, and purposeful living, as these contribute to both immediate happiness and long-term flourishing.
Employ physical reminders, such as a Memento Mori ring or a ‘second arrow’ bracelet, to prompt desired mindsets or behaviors throughout your day. These tangible cues can help you stay present and regulate emotions.
Engage in negative visualization briefly and intentionally (e.g., 10 minutes in the morning) to contemplate potential losses or misfortunes, including the mortality of loved ones. Do this in a controlled dose to appreciate what you have without falling into rumination or hypochondria.
Choose to approach life’s absurdities and challenges with humor and laughter, rather than despair. Recognizing the inherent silliness in many situations can be a powerful form of agency and a path to a lighter perspective.
When faced with frustrating behavior from others (e.g., someone cutting in line), cultivate compassion by considering alternative, more charitable explanations for their actions. This shift in perspective can transform your reaction from anger to understanding.
Proactively spend quality time and invest in relationships with loved ones while they are alive. This practice helps to minimize future regret and ensures that when they pass, you can remember them fondly without the added burden of ‘I should have called more.’
Refrain from talking extensively about goals or projects you are working on before they are complete. This helps preserve your motivation to do the ‘hard, uncomfortable day-to-dayness’ of the work, as fantasizing about the outcome can deplete the drive to achieve it.