Engage in “volitional personality change” by behaving in a more extroverted way (talkative, assertive, spontaneous) to reap happiness benefits, as studies show this significantly boosts well-being for both introverts and extroverts.
Interact with more people, even if you are an introvert, because studies show that both introverts and extroverts benefit from more social interaction and it increases happiness.
Initiate conversations with strangers, such as on a commute, because studies show that people who talk to strangers report feeling happier than those who seek solitude, despite initial expectations.
Move beyond “shallow talk” to engage in “deep conversation” by sharing hopes, dreams, fears, and struggles, as this leads to true connection and is less awkward and more enjoyable than people anticipate.
Be willing to be vulnerable and initiate deeper conversations first, as most people want to talk and are nicer than imagined, dispelling scary judgments.
Be the first to initiate social interaction (e.g., wave, say hi) because “nobody waves but everybody waves back,” meaning people almost always reciprocate a friendly overture.
Actively and genuinely listen to others, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak, because making people feel paid attention to is an “underrated magic skill” that transforms how they treat you and fosters connection.
To gain confidence, intentionally engage in activities that scare you, such as public speaking, because surviving the scary experience is the source of true confidence.
To overcome fear of talking to strangers, engage in exposure therapy by asking a “stupid question” that is guaranteed to make you look foolish, as this helps you realize that nothing truly bad will happen.
Commit to an extended period (e.g., a year) of acting like an extrovert, engaging in terrifying social encounters like talking to strangers, public speaking, and improv comedy, to overcome social anxiety and discover personal growth.
Take control of conversations and intentionally steer them towards deeper topics, as this empowers you to foster genuine connections and make interactions more meaningful.
Actively push yourself to be more social by initiating conversations with people like local cashiers, baristas, or fellow commuters to gain the well-being benefits of social connection.
When invited to a party, make an effort to go and arrive early (e.g., first or second person there) because it’s less intimidating than arriving late when cliques have already formed.
Expect and embrace initial discomfort in social situations, understanding that like cold water, your body (and social comfort) will adjust, making subsequent interactions progressively easier and more enjoyable.