← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

The Happiness Lab Meets No Stupid Questions

Aug 9, 2021 36m 54s 10 insights
<p>There are no stupid questions when it comes to discussing happiness - so Dr Laurie Santos has joined forces with fellow psychologist Angela Duckworth (host of the No Stupid Questions podcast from Freakonomics Radio) for a special crossover episode to talk about how we all want to fit in; why we should do dinner and movie on separate date nights; why we should imagine bad things happening to our homes; and why a change for the worse in your life can actually be a happiness gift.</p><p>Check out <a href="https://freakonomics.com/nsq/">No Stupid Questions</a> wherever you get your podcasts! </p><p> </p> Learn more about your ad-choices at <a href="https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com">https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com</a><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Consult a Therapist for Unhappiness

If you find yourself consistently unhappy despite objectively good circumstances and feel the need to seek external help, consider consulting a therapist. This addresses underlying issues that objective success cannot resolve.

2. Practice Daily Gratitude

Each morning, think of three good things you are grateful for, considering counterfactuals (how things could be worse) to deepen your appreciation. This positive exercise helps to increase overall happiness and satisfaction.

3. Practice Stoic Negative Visualization

Dedicate 5-10 minutes each morning to imagine losing things you value (e.g., health, relationships, job). This practice helps you appreciate what you currently have and fosters gratitude when those imagined misfortunes haven’t occurred.

4. Combine Negative Visualization & Gratitude

To enhance appreciation and avoid rumination, imagine a valued aspect of your life being absent, then immediately feel grateful that it is present. This dual approach can make you more thankful for your current circumstances.

5. Space Out Positive Experiences

To maximize happiness and combat diminishing sensitivity, split your gains by spacing out positive experiences or rewards over time instead of consuming them all at once. For example, enjoy a nice dinner one night and save dessert for the next.

6. Reframe Negative Experiences

When faced with a bad experience, reframe it as an opportunity to appreciate future positive experiences more deeply. For instance, a burned meal can make a future non-burned meal taste even better and more appreciated.

7. Don’t Chase Extreme Happiness

Avoid constantly striving for a “10 out of 10” happiness level, as this can make happiness elusive. Instead, aim for a balanced approach, focusing on gratitude and savoring what you have, rather than pushing for constant highs.

8. Seek Variety for Appreciation

Introduce variety or contrast into your life to prevent hedonic adaptation and enhance appreciation for good circumstances. Experiencing less ideal situations occasionally can make you more grateful for the consistently good ones.

9. Negative Visualization for Hardship

When experiencing personal hardship, use negative visualization to compare your situation to even worse hypothetical scenarios (e.g., a broken knee versus total paralysis). This can shift your perspective and help you find gratitude for what you still possess.

10. Be Aware of Behavioral Contagion

Recognize that you unconsciously mimic the behaviors, accents, and mannerisms of people around you, especially those you perceive as high-status or in-group members. This awareness can help you be more intentional about avoiding the inadvertent copying of inefficient or immoral behaviors.