If you or a friend are in crisis, immediately reach out for help by calling or texting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S., or similar services available in your country.
Strive to be a consistently available friend, regardless of whether they explicitly need you at the moment, so that you are already there for them if they ever face a crisis.
Ignore the awkward feeling of reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while; if you care and are genuinely interested, just initiate contact and keep asking.
If a friend doesn’t reply to your message, don’t assume they’re annoyed; instead, keep trying to reach out, as they might be hurting and need continued prompting.
If a friend says they’re fine but seems to be having a tough day, gently challenge their response by asking ‘Are you all right? You don’t seem all right,’ because people often hide their true feelings.
Pay close attention to subtle changes in a friend’s behavior, and if you notice something different, reach out and gently inquire if they’re okay, letting them know you’ve noticed and care.
Drop the mask of pretending everything is fine and be open about your struggles with trusted friends and family, as this can lead to surprising support and help you heal.
Increase the frequency of checking in on friends, even if they don’t always reply, as consistent contact can be vital for maintaining connection and showing care.
If you haven’t heard from a friend in a while, take it as a sign they might be struggling and send them a quick note to check in, as they might need prompting.
Commit to actively tracking significant events in your friends’ lives, especially difficult ones like layoffs, breakups, or bereavements, to better support them.
Actively plan to maintain friendships by periodically scrolling through your contact list to identify those you haven’t connected with, then send them a brief, simple note.
Make an effort to reach out to people you’ve lost touch with, even with a brief message, as research shows recipients significantly appreciate these unexpected gestures.
When considering reaching out, shift focus from your own anxieties about competence to the recipient’s perspective, recognizing that they will likely appreciate the warmth and care of your message.
Make an effort to show friends you’re thinking about them, as this gesture can mean significantly more to someone than you might realize, especially if they’re going through difficulties.
When reaching out, keep your messages brief and simple, such as ‘hey, just thinking about you,’ to reduce the burden on the recipient and make it easier for them to respond.
Opt for asynchronous communication methods like text messages or emails for check-ins, as they allow recipients to respond at their convenience without the pressure of an immediate, long conversation.
Look for natural, low-stakes excuses to drop a friend a quick note, such as sharing something you saw on the news or a TV show, to make reaching out feel less random and reduce self-consciousness.