When feeling stuck, avoid applying more effort to the same ineffective strategies; instead, pause, look around for new possibilities, and use your energy differently. This requires flexibility in your attention and behavior to find an ‘open door’ rather than repeatedly hitting a ‘window’.
Ensure your energy is directed towards what truly matters to you, as misalignment between your behavior and values can lead to de-energization and dissatisfaction. Reflect on what makes ’life its most lifey’ to identify and amplify activities that resonate deeply with your core values.
When setting goals, write down why they personally matter to you and how they connect to your values. This intrinsic motivation significantly increases the likelihood of sticking with your goals and achieving better outcomes compared to setting goals alone.
Shift your focus from solely achieving finish lines to engaging fully in the process itself, as outcomes often keep moving and can interfere with being present. Embracing the process brings vitality and meaning, even if it doesn’t always feel enjoyable.
Develop a mindset of open-minded curiosity towards your situation and patterns of stuckness, rather than being judgmental or assuming you ‘already know.’ This approach allows you to see new possibilities and pathways to get unstuck.
Use journaling with specific prompts to gain flexible perspective and cognitive diffusion, such as listing ‘five things I’m thinking, five things I’m feeling, five behaviors I’m engaging in,’ or drawing your stuck experience. This practice helps you step back and view your situation from a different angle.
When stuck, actively try behaviors that are different from what you’re currently doing, similar to a robot’s ‘Get Unstuck button.’ This increases the chances of finding a new path, as narrowing your behavioral repertoire tends to keep you stuck.
Stop running away from discomfort, as avoidance strategies (e.g., distracting, numbing, procrastinating) often create secondary problems and prevent you from pursuing what you truly value. The things that matter most often come with discomfort.
Cultivate radical acceptance, which is a willingness to make space for and allow ‘what is,’ even if you don’t like it. Accepting your internal experiences (thoughts, emotions, urges, memories, sensations) allows for greater flexibility and enables external change.
Recognize that your mind constantly produces thoughts, like a crowing rooster, but you don’t have to follow or fight them. Practice cognitive diffusion by stepping back and choosing which thoughts to pay attention to, especially those aligned with your values.
When your mind is filled with worries or unhelpful thoughts, ask yourself four questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it timely? Is it helpful? This provides distance and helps you engage in wiser internal speech, allowing you to choose where to focus your energy.
Cultivate interoceptive awareness by paying attention to your body’s signals, such as heartbeat, breath, hunger, fullness, and emotions, to make better decisions and gain valuable information often missed when you’re ‘in your head’.
When making decisions, check in with your body to sense a ‘whole body yes’ (openness, leaning in) or a ‘whole body no’ (contraction, shying away). Your embodied intuition, based on past learning, can provide quick, valuable information to complement your mental analysis.
Regularly use the HEART acronym for a body check-in: H (Hunger & Fullness) to guide eating, E (Emotions) to identify feelings in your body, A (Activity) to respond to movement cravings, R (Rest) to seek genuine relaxation, and T (Tension) to notice and release physical stress.
Consciously alter your physical state (e.g., exhale longer, drop shoulders, relax face/belly) to send calming information to your brain. This ‘bottom-up’ approach can be beneficial in managing stress and emotional states, as your body influences your mind.
Be aware that your greatest strengths and talents (‘genius energy’) can become ‘frenemies’ when misused or overused, leading to negative outcomes. For example, humor can become too lighthearted, or persistence can turn into inflexibility.
View feelings of regret as a powerful indicator that your energy is off-track or a strength has become a frenemy. Use this discomfort as an arrow pointing towards self-correction to realign your actions with your values.