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Stop Stressing About Stress

Jan 27, 2025 43m 31s 26 insights
<p>Stress can suck, but it's part of life - it&rsquo;s normal and even useful. Many of us drown in our stress - worrying about past events and fearing upcoming challenges. We even stress about feeling stressed. So how can we reset our relationship with stress - benefitting from its positives and avoiding those negatives?&nbsp;</p> <p>Dr Jenny Taitz has some effective tips to help you greet stress more healthily. A clinical psychologist and the author of&nbsp;<a href="https://drjennytaitz.com/books/"><em>Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes</em></a>, Dr Jenny explains that if we think differently about challenges and tough situations and take action, then stress can become a friend rather than a foe.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Reframe Stress as Growth

Normalize stress by viewing it as an adaptive, helpful response that supports you in pursuing meaningful goals, rather than something inherently bad, to reduce negative impacts like cortisol levels and increase persistence.

2. Accept Stress for Meaningful Life

Adopt the belief that stress is an unavoidable part of living a meaningful life, as pursuing accomplishments, social connections, and personal growth often involves challenging, stressful experiences.

3. Cultivate Radical Acceptance

Learn to radically accept current circumstances ‘just as it is in this very moment’ to stop fighting reality, which opens up more options and reduces inner struggle.

4. Implement Opposite Action

When an emotion is not justified or is leading to unhelpful behaviors, intentionally act the opposite of how you feel (e.g., if sad, do something energetic; if angry with a partner, do something nice for them) with full mind and body commitment to change your feelings and improve your quality of life.

5. Align Stress with Life Purpose

To make difficult situations more tolerable and meaningful, connect your current stress to a larger sense of purpose, such as feeding your family or improving your life, and visualize the relative importance of different life domains (e.g., health, relationships, career) to gain perspective.

6. Practice Self-Compassion & Awareness

When stress arises, be kind to yourself and compassionately notice if you fall into patterns like overthinking, avoiding, or acting in ways that perpetuate stress, such as avoiding helpful activities like spending time with family or exercising.

7. Assess Rumination’s Usefulness

To break free from rumination, first assess your beliefs about your thinking habits by asking if they are helping you achieve goals or hindering your perspective and problem-solving abilities.

8. Shift from Why to How

Shift from unproductive ‘why’ questions (e.g., ‘Why did this happen?’) to empowering ‘how’ questions (e.g., ‘How can I move forward?’) to transform circular rumination into a constructive plan for action.

9. Utilize Expressive Writing

Engage in structured expressive writing by detailing an upsetting event for 20 minutes, then writing for 20 minutes on how it affected your past, and a third day on its present and future impact, to process emotions, reduce rumination, and gain working distance.

10. Affect Labeling for Regulation

Practice affect labeling by putting a specific word to your emotions (e.g., ‘frustrated,’ ‘annoyed,’ ‘sad’) and even rating their intensity (e.g., ‘at a five’) to activate brain regions that help regulate emotions and create working distance.

11. Identify Your Mind State

When experiencing intense emotions, categorize your current state of mind (e.g., ‘I’m in emotion mind,’ ‘I feel anxious’) to gain perspective and prevent further exacerbation of negative feelings, allowing you to choose a more appropriate state.

12. Accept Emotions, Avoid Faking

Instead of faking calmness or suppressing emotions, accept that it’s natural to feel shaky or stressed in important situations, as this acceptance allows you to better manage feelings and engage in opportunities.

13. Practice Present Moment Anchoring

When experiencing strong emotions, anchor yourself in the present moment to avoid the human tendency to believe negative feelings will last forever, recognizing that emotions are transient and you can bounce back.

14. Schedule Present Moment Focus

If you ruminate constantly, set specific, reasonable goals for when you will be present (e.g., ‘from 6 to 7:30 p.m. I am going to be present’) to break the habit of repetitive, unproductive thinking.

15. Focus on One Workable Goal

When stressed and engaging in ‘procrastivity’ (pseudo-productive tasks like clearing your inbox instead of important work), identify one workable goal and approach it with singular focus, as if you were capable and your own cheerleader, to make headway.

16. Assemble a Hope Kit

Assemble a ‘hope kit’ – a collection of items (e.g., notes, photos, scented candles, playlists) that engage your senses and remind you of enriching experiences, faith, and joy, to quickly regain perspective and bounce back from distress.

17. Mentally Rehearse Coping Strategies

Mentally rehearse challenging situations by realistically imagining how you will cope and act (e.g., closing social media, setting a timer for deep work) to prepare your brain and set yourself up for success, rather than dreading the event.

18. Plan & Savor Joy

Intentionally plan and schedule joyful activities in advance to create a buffer against stress, cultivate positive emotions, and increase productivity by creating hard stop times; then, actively savor these moments by replaying or describing their highlights.

19. Leverage Humor for Perspective

Actively seek out and use humor, even by giving your anxiety a funny name, to shift your perspective, elevate positive emotions, gain distance from stress, and benefit both yourself and those around you.

20. Self-Comfort Through Touch

Use self-compassionate touch, such as placing two hands on your heart, giving yourself a hug, or massaging your shoulder, to self-validate your feelings and provide comfort, especially after difficult experiences.

21. Relax Face for Acceptance

When feeling distressed, consciously relax your facial muscles to initiate a more accepting mindset, as physical relaxation can influence your internal emotional state and reduce judgment.

22. Cold Water Face Immersion

For a rapid physiological shift, submerge your face in a bowl of ice water for 30 seconds while holding your breath (mammalian dive reflex), which slows heart rate and redirects blood flow, but avoid if you have heart conditions.

23. Brief Intense Exercise

Perform short bursts of intense exercise, like burpees or running in place with high knees for a minute or two, to quickly change your body’s physiology and shift your mental state.

24. Slow Paced Breathing

Slow your breathing rate by inhaling through your nose for five counts and exhaling for five counts, repeating for several minutes, to lower blood pressure and expand your ability to cope with reality.

25. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Perform progressive muscle relaxation by systematically tensing and then releasing different muscle groups (e.g., forehead, lips, shoulders, fists), noticing the difference between tension and relaxation, to create more space in your body and mind.

26. Practice Panic Sensations

If you experience panic, intentionally practice recreating its physical sensations (e.g., hyperventilating for a minute) in a safe space; this ‘interoceptive exposure’ helps you become familiar with and less reactive to these sensations, reducing panic’s impact.