← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Stop Endlessly Chasing the "Next Big Thing"

Jan 2, 2023 34m 41s 12 insights
<p>We're often looking into the future... hunting for the "next big thing". That could be an exciting new job or a new relationship. We can get so fixated with these events and the happiness we hope they'll deliver, that we forget to look for joy <em>right now</em>. </p> <p>Actor and author Tony Hale (<em>Veep, The Mysterious Benedict Society, Arrested Development</em>) was always chasing new accomplishments, until he realised he was missing the chance to be happy living in the moment. He used his experience to write one of Dr Laurie Santos's favourite children's books <em>Archibald's Next Big Thing</em>. </p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Listen to Your Inner Compass

Prioritize listening to your wise inner voice and what your body and mind truly need, rather than being swayed by loud external cultural voices and expectations, as this is the real path to happiness.

2. Practice Present Moment Awareness

Actively focus on the current moment instead of constantly seeking the ’next big thing’ or dwelling on the future, as happiness is often found in the present.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same compassion, understanding, and grace you would offer a loved one, especially when feeling sad, scared, or having a tough day, rather than resorting to harsh self-criticism.

4. Observe Thoughts Without Identification

Practice observing your thoughts and feelings as an outsider, without identifying with them; a technique involves closing your eyes for 10 minutes daily and labeling mental pictures as ‘image’ and internal conversations as ‘words’ to gain a sense of control.

5. Show Compassion to Anxious Voice

When your anxious inner voice arises, acknowledge it with compassion, recognizing its protective intent, and gently tell it you appreciate its concern but will proceed, which helps dissipate its power.

6. Ground Yourself with Five Senses

Use the ‘five senses technique’ to immediately ground yourself in the present: identify five things you see, four things you hear, three things you smell, two things you taste, and one thing you touch.

7. Employ the ‘Not Now’ Mantra

When ‘what if’ thoughts or future worries arise, consciously tell yourself ’not now’ to acknowledge the thought but choose to redirect your focus to the present moment, asserting your choice over your thoughts.

8. Anchor Your Self-Worth

Recognize that your inherent value remains constant, independent of external successes, achievements, or material gains, to avoid the ‘arrival fallacy’ and find true contentment.

9. Surrender to Intense Feelings

When experiencing overwhelming feelings like panic, surrender to them by acknowledging their presence and reminding yourself that they are temporary and will pass, rather than fighting them.

10. Act Despite Fear

Proceed with actions and goals even when experiencing fear or anxiety, adopting the mantra ‘just do it afraid,’ rather than waiting to feel completely peaceful or strong.

11. Hack Your Body with Thoughts

Use your thoughts to influence your physical state by consciously choosing to act as if things are fine (e.g., by engaging in conversation) even when your body feels anxious, which can signal your body to calm down.

12. Engage in Focused Meditation

Engage in focused, hands-on activities, such as rope bowl making, as a form of active meditation to divert attention from anxious thoughts and ground yourself in the present moment.