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Reducing the Stress of Parenting with Dr Vivek Murthy

May 1, 2025 34m 38s 16 insights
<p>Too many parents feel &ldquo;exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind&rdquo; according to the former US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy. He says more needs to be done to protect parental mental health.&nbsp;</p> <p>Vivek talks to Dr Laurie about his experience as a dad and the loneliness, guilt and shame parents can feel as they struggle with the challenges of raising children.&nbsp;</p> <p>This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's&nbsp;new free online class, The&nbsp;<em>Science of Wellbeing for Parents</em> which is available now at <a href="https://www.coursera.org/">Coursera.org</a>. You can sign up at&nbsp;<a href="http://drlauriesantos.com/parents">drlauriesantos.com/parents</a>.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Practice Parental Self-Compassion

Acknowledge that parenting is a hard and important job, and it’s okay to struggle, feel lonely, or not always like parenting. This helps combat the profound guilt and shame many parents experience, which can be a significant barrier to well-being.

2. Reject Social Media Comparison

Recognize that online portrayals of parenting are not representative of reality and can make you feel alone or falling short. Do not believe what you see online, as it often hides the struggles many parents face.

3. Initiate Open Parent Conversations

Start conversations with other parents about common struggles, such as managing screen time or phone requests. This helps open floodgates, revealing that many parents share similar challenges and reducing feelings of isolation.

4. Proactively Support Other Parents

Engage in small acts of kindness, like offering to watch a child for 10-15 minutes or supporting parent-owned businesses. This helps other parents feel seen and not alone, while also empowering you and forging community bonds.

5. Host Casual Family Gatherings

Invite other families over, even if your house is chaotic or messy, emphasizing that the company is more important than a tidy environment. This helps normalize the reality of family life and encourages others to foster community.

6. Utilize Free Parent Well-being Course

Sign up for the free online Yale happiness course, ‘The Science of Well-Being for Parents,’ to access actionable strategies for reducing stress, burnout, and protecting mental health. This resource is available at drlorisantos.com/parents.

7. Prioritize Caregiver Support at Work

Employers should implement policies and programs that actively support parents, recognizing that their well-being is vital for both their families and society. This prevents burnout among caregivers and ensures the health of the next generation.

8. Offer Workplace Flexibility & Leave

Provide flexible hours for school events and comprehensive paid sick leave for when children are ill, allowing parents to fulfill family responsibilities without guilt or financial penalty. This reduces stress and anticipatory anxiety for parents.

9. Ensure Robust Mental Health Coverage

Employers should select insurance plans that include strong mental health care coverage for employees and their families. This is crucial given the youth mental health crisis and its impact on parents.

10. Foster Openness About Family Life

Create an environment where parents feel comfortable sharing aspects of their family life and challenges at work without fear of being perceived as weak or unreliable. This promotes a more human and supportive workplace culture and reduces stress.

11. Proactively Signal Parenthood Support

As an employer, clearly communicate that parenthood is not a handicap or a strike against an employee, but rather valued for the diverse perspectives and efficient time management skills parents often bring. This helps alleviate fear among employees considering starting a family.

12. Invest in Financial Support for Parents

Governments should implement policies like a long-term child tax credit and paid sick leave to alleviate the significant financial challenges and difficult choices parents face. This is a powerful strategy for lifting families out of poverty and reducing stress.

13. Address Social Media Safety

Governments should enact safety standards to protect children from harmful content and addictive features on social media, and ensure transparent access to data on platform impacts. This helps mitigate a top stressor for modern parents.

14. Invest in Social Infrastructure

Governments should fund and develop policies, programs, and physical structures that enable people, especially parents, to gather and build relationships. This counteracts the decline in community participation and helps combat loneliness.

15. Create Accessible Public Spaces

Local governments and community leaders should develop and maintain parks, green spaces, and community events that are inclusive and scheduled at times compatible with parents’ schedules (e.g., late afternoon weekend concerts). This provides invaluable places for families to gather and foster community.

16. Sponsor Community Connection Events

Local organizations and governments can help sponsor or organize gatherings, such as ‘Recipes for Connection’ potlucks, to help people overcome anxieties about hosting and build community around shared experiences like food and physical activity. This fosters powerful bonds and support for parents.