Utilize the RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) practice as a powerful concept to put brakes on unhealthy urges and consider what truly matters for a happier life, especially when feeling stress or tightness.
When engaging in RAIN, start by recognizing whatever emotion is most predominant, such as anxiety or guilt, and mentally whisper what you are noticing to activate the prefrontal cortex and foster witnessing.
In the RAIN practice, allow means to let the experience be as it is without judgment, trying to fix it, or steaming forward, accepting that ’this belongs’ and is a temporary wave.
Investigate emotions primarily by sensing their physical manifestation in your body (e.g., a squeeze in the throat or chest) and exploring any underlying beliefs or fears that come into awareness.
Complete the RAIN practice by nurturing yourself with self-compassion, such as placing a hand on your heart to soothe the nervous system and sending kind messages like ‘it’s okay, sweetie’ to yourself.
Consider that rigid improvement goals like losing weight, achieving a perfect body, or getting a promotion might not lead to happiness and could even be obstacles to truly finding it.
Adopt a strategy of being a little nicer to yourself and to others, as this approach is suggested to be a better path to happiness.
When feeling overwhelmed or ’tight,’ pause and turn your attention inward to sense what is going on inside you, feeling emotions in your body and offering yourself kindness and self-compassion.
Avoid living according to expectations, judgments, or fear; instead, strive to live true to your heart, aligning your moments with what truly matters to you.
Recognize when you are on autopilot or caught in a ’trance’ (a fear-based world of thoughts) to challenge it and avoid living in a virtual reality, disconnected from your body and heart.
Be aware of the ’not enough time’ trance, which is a small, fear-based world where you forget the bigger picture of what truly matters, like being present and loving.
Identify and address the pervasive ’trance of unworthiness,’ where you tell yourself stories about what’s wrong with you, as it profoundly impacts behavior, intimacy, and risk-taking.
To free yourself from trances and protective ‘spacesuits,’ be willing to remove those coverings and directly look at the deep-seated, scary stuff and vulnerability you are afraid of.
Pause all busy planning, worrying, and trying to prove or improve yourself, and ask this powerful question to sense the squeeze of deep insecurity or fear in your body that needs attention.
Practice mindfulness and compassion (like RAIN) to expand your awareness, giving you more choice in your life and allowing your moments to align with what matters for greater happiness and peace.
To ‘arrive’ in the present moment, consciously feel your breath, the air on your skin, hear sounds around you, or truly see the light in a child’s eyes, rather than being lost in thoughts.
Pay attention to what’s really going on inside yourself to avoid engaging in behaviors like excessive online time, overeating, or overspending, which are often reactions to avoid emotions.
When interacting with others, practice seeing beyond their ‘spacesuit’ or defensive ego to perceive the goodness shining through, offering the gift of seeing their true spirit.
Recall that everyone is living in uncertainty and struggling, which fosters a shared sense of being ‘in it together’ and enables you to show up for each other more compassionately.
When feeling blame towards yourself or others, practice RAIN by recognizing the judgment, allowing it, sensing the underlying uneasiness in your body, nurturing yourself, and then viewing the person with compassion.
Before embarking on big plans to be better, bolder, or busier, consider what you’re trying to achieve and why, questioning if the plan will truly make you happy or if it’s a distraction from deeper issues.
Practice RAIN consistently so it becomes quicker and more accessible, allowing you to apply a ’light rain’ more easily in daily moments of reactivity or difficulty.