Coach yourself through problems by using your own name or the second-person pronoun “you” (e.g., “What should Malala do?”). This linguistic shift helps you adopt an objective, advisory perspective, making it easier to find solutions and follow your own advice.
When experiencing intense negative chatter, mentally fast-forward in time by asking yourself how you’ll feel about the problem tomorrow, next week, or in the distant future. This broadens your perspective and reminds you that current emotional experiences are impermanent and will eventually subside, offering hope.
When struggling with negative self-talk, imagine what a supportive coach, kind friend, or admired figure (e.g., “What would Beyoncé do?”) would say to you. This helps switch your perspective to a more objective, supportive, and constructive internal voice.
Remind yourself that negative emotions and self-talk are common aspects of the human condition, not unique flaws. Recognizing that others experience similar struggles can alleviate feelings of isolation and reduce the intensity of your negative emotions.
Identify and rely on a few specific people who not only listen empathetically but also help broaden your perspective and normalize your experience when you share your chatter. This approach provides more effective support than mere venting.
When someone else is feeling bad, resist the urge to immediately offer platitudes like “it’ll be fine” or “look on the bright side.” Such responses can be unhelpful, dismissive of their feelings, and may stem from your own discomfort with their distress.
When offering support to someone experiencing chatter, explicitly ask if they are ready for advice (e.g., “Can I share a thought with you?”). This allows you to gauge their needs, ensuring they feel heard before you attempt to broaden their perspective or offer solutions.