← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

PJ and Alex Love to Gripe

May 4, 2020 29m 39s 7 insights
<p>Reply All hosts PJ and Alex <em>love</em> to trade gripes. Their complaints about the minor annoyances of modern life make for great audio, but are the podcasters making a classic mistake?</p><p>We all like to complain - thinking that venting does us good - but Dr Laurie Santos explains to PJ and Alex that they should gripe less if they want to be happier, and sets them a task to say something nice.</p><p>For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit <a href="https://www.happinesslab.fm/">happinesslab.fm</a></p><p> </p> Learn more about your ad-choices at <a href="https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com">https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com</a><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Perform a Gratitude Visit

Identify someone you are deeply grateful for but have never properly thanked, write them a genuine, heartfelt letter explaining their impact, and then meet them in person to read it aloud, as this boosts mood for over a month.

2. Practice Daily Gratitude

Regularly reflect on your past week and write down up to five things you are thankful for, as focusing on blessings leads to improved well-being, higher gratitude, and stronger relationships.

3. Focus on Meaning, Not Perfection

When expressing gratitude, prioritize conveying genuine meaning and warmth, as recipients care more about your sincerity and the positive impact than the exact words or your perceived competence.

4. Reduce Griping, Increase Gratitude

Consciously resist the urge to talk only about annoying things in social interactions and scale back online gripe posting, instead making an effort to focus on and express blessings.

5. Find Gratitude in Hassles

Choose one daily hassle or struggle and actively try to view it through a lens of gratitude, extracting at least one benefit from the bad situation to shift your perspective.

6. Gripe for Problem Solving

If you must express frustrations, do so with the goal of processing the situation, making sense of it, and finding a solution, rather than just complaining for its own sake.

7. Curate Emotional Exposure

Actively manage and control the feelings you are exposed to in your daily life to prevent recreational complaining from turning into a habit and surrounding you with negativity.