← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Mistakenly Seeking Solitude

Oct 8, 2019 34m 24s 15 insights
<p>Technology allows us to bank, shop and dine without talking to another human, but what toll is this taking on our happiness? The inventor of the ATM and the Talking Heads singer David Byrne join Dr Laurie Santos to explore the ways in which talking to strangers can bring us all genuine joy.  </p><p>For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit <a href="https://www.happinesslab.fm/">https://www.happinesslab.fm/ </a></p><p> </p> Learn more about your ad-choices at <a href="https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com">https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com</a><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Prioritize Social Connections

To achieve very high happiness, prioritize spending more time around other humans, as studies show this is a necessary condition for highly happy individuals.

2. Socialize for Daily Well-being

Engage in socializing with others more frequently, as it is the daily activity that makes us feel best, surpassing eating, shopping, relaxing, or watching TV.

3. Connect with Strangers Regularly

Make a conscious effort to connect not only with friends and family but also with strangers encountered in daily life, such as in lines or during commutes, as these interactions contribute significantly to well-being.

4. Opt for Human Interaction

Whenever possible, choose human interaction over automated convenience, such as chatting with a bank teller instead of using an ATM, to preserve valuable social connections.

5. Initiate Line Conversations

When standing in line, initiate a conversation with the person next to you, as these small human interactions can brighten your day and provide valuable social connection.

6. Seek Frequent Happiness Bursts

Understand that happiness comes from the frequency of positive experiences, not just their intensity, meaning small, regular positive interactions contribute significantly to overall well-being.

7. Conversations Recharge Happiness

Engage in conversations with others, as they act like ‘air compressors’ for your happiness, providing regular boosts to your well-being.

8. Combat Loneliness Through Connection

To fight the loneliness epidemic, actively seek out and make connections with people, drawing inspiration from individuals who naturally engage with others.

9. Connect with Eye Contact & Smiles

Initiate connections with people by using direct eye contact and smiles, as these are fundamental ways to relate to others.

10. Value Face-to-Face Interactions

Recognize and value face-to-face interactions because humans are social animals who thrive on the rich signals (body language, facial expression, tone of voice) exchanged during direct contact.

11. Reframe Waiting as Opportunity

When stuck in lines, try to reframe the experience not as an annoyance, but as an opportunity to be happier, as our minds often lie about what truly makes us happy.

12. Understand Mind Science for Happiness

To find true happiness, understand the science of the mind, as our natural intuitions about happiness can often be wrong.

13. Value Small Free Time Increments

Recognize that adding even a few extra minutes to your perceived free time can significantly improve your well-being.

14. Seek Street Connections

Emulate happy people by actively taking time for social connection and making an effort to connect with people you encounter on the street.

15. Use Conversation Starters

If you struggle to start a conversation with a stranger, use interesting facts or observations, such as the story of the ATM’s invention and its inventor’s wife, to break the ice.