Actively foster trust in the people around you, believing they will behave well and contribute their fair share, which reduces parental isolation and provides mental headspace.
Adopt the fundamental belief that everyone, including children, is inherently worthy and deserving of respect simply by existing, which helps alleviate parental guilt and the need for constant external validation.
Broaden your definition of success to prioritize deep contentment and a balanced life encompassing family, friends, hobbies, and a job, rather than solely academic or career achievements, to reduce pressure on children.
Parents should prioritize their own fun and self-care, understanding that being a martyr is not beneficial for themselves or their children, and models healthy behavior.
Trust children with age-appropriate risks, such as using knives (from age three) or climbing trees, in a safe and supported environment, as it builds resilience, confidence, and may prevent more dangerous risk-seeking in adolescence.
Equip children with appropriate clothing and ensure they spend time outside every day, regardless of weather (even sleeping outdoors in cold temperatures), as it’s beneficial for their psychological and physical well-being.
From a young age (around two), trust children with autonomy over their bodies, expecting them to dress themselves and engage in independent activities, fostering self-reliance and responsibility.
Design the home environment (e.g., accessible coat hooks, kid-height shelves, snack cupboards) to enable children to reach and do things for themselves, reducing parental burden and fostering independence.
Actively make time for both unstructured, intrinsically motivated play and structured play (sports, board games, music), as it’s considered essential for children’s learning, collaboration, teamwork, and communication.
Reduce pressure on children’s early academic grades and book learning, prioritizing their happiness, deep contentment, and overall well-being instead.
When children fight, avoid immediate intervention; instead, ‘sit on your hands’ and let them attempt to resolve their own conflicts, as this helps them learn social cues and de-escalation.
Model self-care by openly expressing your own needs (e.g., ‘I’m tired, I need to be done parenting now’), which teaches children about boundaries and gives parents their life back.
Communicate directly to children that it’s bedtime because the parent is tired and done parenting for the day, fostering parental self-care and teaching children to respect boundaries.
Trust children to know their own bodies regarding hunger, tiredness, and comfort (warm/cold), rather than dictating these feelings, which helps them develop self-awareness and autonomy.
Avoid raising your voice or shouting at children, as it’s seen as losing control and can cause children to enter a defensive mode where they don’t process what’s being said; instead, strive for calm communication.
View failure as an important and unavoidable part of growth, allowing it to happen in low-stakes situations to prepare children for life’s challenges and prevent high-stakes failures later.
Embrace the Danish concept of ‘Pyt,’ meaning ‘it doesn’t matter, it’s fine,’ to let go of minor issues and reduce stress, especially when things don’t go perfectly.
Assign children age-appropriate household responsibilities, such as setting the table, lighting candles, and tidying up, to foster a sense of being a contributing member of the family team.
From around age five, teach children to wake themselves up using an alarm clock, fostering autonomy and reducing parental burden.
Practice direct communication with children, stating your needs clearly (e.g., ‘I can’t talk right now, I’m talking to my friend’) without over-explanation, reinforcing equality and setting healthy boundaries.
Refrain from constantly overpraising children, as it can lead them to seek external validation; instead, allow them to develop an internal compass for self-assessment and autonomy.
Deliberately create time for children to simply ‘be’ and experience boredom, as it fosters creativity and self-discovery.
Prioritize spare time and a balanced life over striving for maximum financial gain or material possessions, as this models a healthier value system for children.
When facing judgment from other parents, confidently refer to scientific studies and data supporting your parenting choices (e.g., Nordic approaches to well-being, autonomy, risky play) to steel yourself against side-eye.
Introduce practical skills like using matches, compasses, and maps to toddlers, fostering resilience, confidence, and a sense of mastery.
Provide teenagers with freedom and autonomy, as this supports their natural desire to separate from parents and fosters independence, potentially leading to better parent-teenager relationships.
Avoid displaying every piece of children’s artwork on the refrigerator, as it aligns with the principle of not overpraising and fostering internal validation.
Ensure daughters are also encouraged to engage in risky, active, and outdoor play (like climbing trees), challenging gender stereotypes and fostering resilience.