Feel difficult feelings instead of pushing them away or letting them own you, as the transcript suggests ’the only way out is through’ when experiencing stress at work.
Spend time thinking about your core purpose and what matters most to you, using it as a ‘North Star’ to guide you through life’s ups and downs and prevent getting stuck in minor setbacks.
Engage in activities that benefit other people, as doing good for others is a highly effective way to boost your own well-being and happiness.
Frame your purpose as being for others, as this makes it easier to navigate personal setbacks and reduces the impact of self-focused disappointments.
Treat yourself with kindness first, as this self-compassion provides the necessary ‘fierceness’ and bandwidth to effectively fight against injustices and structural problems.
Schedule and prioritize self-care activities that genuinely recharge your battery, viewing them not as self-indulgent but as essential for effective work, managing home life, and supporting colleagues.
Sit comfortably with closed eyes, bring full attention to a neutral sensory object (like breath or body sensations), and when distracted, gently return attention to the object, recognizing that the point is to become familiar with the mind’s wildness rather than to clear it.
See thoughts as separate from yourself, as ’little more than nothing’ when examined, rather than believing them as facts that blot out the sun.
Use the phrase ’there is anger’ instead of ‘I’m angry’ to avoid identifying deeply with emotions, recognizing them as passing phenomena rather than personal possessions.
Investigate difficult emotions by picking apart their constituent parts (thoughts, physical sensations like burning in the chest or heat in the ears) to reduce their power and see them as less monolithic.
Recognize that difficult emotions will pass, which can bring relief and reduce their perceived permanence and intractability.
Create rituals or physical reminders (like a tattoo or daily affirmation) to consistently recall your core purpose, especially an other-oriented one, to stay grounded amidst daily challenges.
When feeling overwhelmed or things are going badly at work, turn to doing one nice thing for a colleague to make their life easier, as this can be a powerful remedy for your own well-being.
Employ service to others as a general ‘cure-all’ whenever you’re feeling bad about anything, as it’s a highly effective way to improve your own mood and address various personal ills.
If you’re feeling lonely, actively try to cure loneliness in someone else by reaching out, as this action will often make you feel less lonely yourself.
Meditate by envisioning someone else’s success and genuinely wishing for their happiness, health, and success to expand, counteracting jealousy and fostering joy.
Strive to be the kind of person others feel comfortable sharing good news with, fostering genuine happiness for their success rather than jealousy.
Recognize that the success of others is rarely something that was ‘meant for you’ and intercepted, helping to dismantle the root of jealousy.
Be aware that people often compare their internal struggles to others’ external appearances of success, leading to inaccurate and harmful social comparisons.
When feeling jealous of someone’s gifts or accolades, ask yourself if you would be willing to put in the necessary work, time, and emotional drama to achieve the same, as the answer might reveal it’s not worth it for you.
Before making significant changes (like leaving a job), perform a realistic assessment of what a new situation would entail, recognizing that the ‘grass isn’t always greener’ and fantasies can be misleading.
Acknowledge and accept that negative emotions, especially those stemming from legitimate grievances like structural inequities, are present and will impact your performance, allowing for self-compassion.
Maintain good sleep habits by keeping your room cold, avoiding blue light from devices in the hours before bed, getting direct sunlight early in the day, and exercising to tire yourself out.
Tune into the actual pain and negative consequences of not sleeping to motivate yourself to adhere to basic sleep hygiene practices.
Stake out a patch of land (e.g., 10 yards) and walk back and forth slowly, bringing full attention to the feeling of your body moving, using mental notes like ’lifting’ and ‘placing’ to stay focused.
When struggling to sleep, challenge catastrophizing thoughts by reminding yourself that you’ve survived sleeplessness before and will be fine, reducing anxiety about the consequences.
If you find yourself tossing and turning in bed, get up and do something else (a fun activity, reading, or light work) rather than staying in bed and associating it with struggle.
Paradoxically, give yourself permission not to sleep and release expectations, as this reduction in struggle and resistance can create the conditions for sleep to naturally occur.
As a manager, actively create an environment of psychological safety by warmly inviting junior team members to speak, rewarding those who offer difficult feedback, and publicly acknowledging and appreciating their bravery in doing so.
When someone speaks, listen carefully without planning your response, then briefly repeat the core of their message in your own words to ensure they feel heard and to interrupt your own reactive responses.
After reflective listening, ask ‘Did I get that right or did I miss anything?’ to ensure true understanding and allow the speaker to clarify, especially with junior colleagues.
As a manager, adopt the reflex of taking full responsibility for problems on your team, understanding that issues often originate from leadership, as ’the fish is always going to rot from the head’.
Regularly ask yourself, ‘How am I complicit in the conditions I say I don’t want?’ to gain insight into your own influence and potential contributions to team problems, especially when in a position of power.
Managers should actively create unexpected opportunities for employees to connect on the job, fostering a sense of belonging and improving overall happiness and performance.
In virtual or in-person meetings, dedicate the first 10 minutes to informal social connection (e.g., ‘How was your weekend?’), mimicking natural office interactions to build rapport and belonging.
As a manager, openly express gratitude for specific actions, especially when employees do something great, vulnerable, or challenging, explaining why it was appreciated to reinforce that their contributions matter.
For managers, take time to acknowledge employee birthdays with a personalized email that includes a specific compliment about their work, making them feel seen and valued.
Managers should frame fostering social connection and making employees feel valued as essential, ‘has to get done’ work, rather than superfluous activities, recognizing its impact on well-being and performance.
Sing your thoughts to an annoying pop song that gets stuck in your head to create distance and see them as separate, similar to meditation.
Visualize your thoughts scrolling up like Star Wars text to gain distance and see them as transient, separating them from your identity.