← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How to Stay Hopeful (Live from SXSW with Michelle Obama)

Apr 11, 2025 58m 25s 16 insights
<p>"What can we do to find hope when times are tough?" That was the question posed to Dr Laurie for a live recording of <a href="https://www.imopod.com/">IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson</a> at the 2025 SXSW festival.&nbsp;</p> <p>Dr Laurie explained what science says about retaining hope and how we can act in ways that make us feel better even in bleak times - and the former First Lady shared her tips for staying hopeful.&nbsp;</p> <p>IMO is a new show hosted by Michelle and her brother Craig - with guests ranging from Jay Shetty to Seth Rogen.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Listen to <a href="https://www.imopod.com/">IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson</a> wherever you get your podcasts.&nbsp;</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Redefine Happiness and Success

Re-evaluate your ‘happiness meter’ by understanding that material possessions, money, or fame are not the true keys to lasting joy. Instead, focus on finding your purpose, helping others, and prioritizing human connection and care.

2. Cultivate Actionable Hope

Shift your definition of hope from blind optimism (expecting everything to be fine) to recognizing that while things may not be fine, there are always paths for improvement. This perspective fosters agency and encourages taking small steps to make things better.

3. Seek Community and Connection

Actively step out of loneliness by talking with family, friends, and trusted communities, as humans need each other to navigate uncertainties. Reaching out and checking in on others not only boosts your own happiness but also strengthens social bonds and civic action.

4. Take Small, Meaningful Actions

Combat feelings of overwhelm by focusing on small, tangible actions, such as checking in on someone, donating to a cause, or showing up for something you care about. These small steps create a sense of agency, contribute to solutions, and can initiate a virtuous cycle of hope.

5. Practice Gratitude and Delight

Train your brain to counteract its natural negativity bias by actively looking for small wonders or ‘delights’ in the world each day. This practice builds emotional bandwidth, making you more resilient and better equipped to address larger problems.

6. Prioritize Physical Well-being

Recognize that your physical health, including adequate sleep, nutritious eating, and regular movement, is directly tied to your emotional status and resilience. Establishing these habits early provides the necessary bandwidth to fight for what matters and navigate life’s challenges.

7. Normalize Negative Emotions

Give yourself grace for feeling upset, frustrated, or overwhelmed, understanding that negative emotions are a normal human experience, especially in an abnormal world. This normalization, coupled with self-compassion, helps you process and move through tough times more effectively.

8. Prepare Children for Reality

As a parent, focus on preparing children for a world that will often be disappointing and hard, rather than shielding them from all sadness and anxiety. Equipping them with tools to navigate tough feelings early on fosters greater resilience in adulthood.

9. Mindful Phone Use (WWW)

Adopt the ‘WWW’ strategy (What for, Why now, What else) to mindfully assess your phone usage. This practice helps you understand your motivations for being on your phone and recognize the opportunity cost of missed real-world interactions and experiences.

10. Avoid Social Media Comment Sections

Protect your mental space from negative energy by consciously avoiding comment sections on social media platforms. This prevents made-up rumors, gossip, and hateful sentiments from entering your personal sphere, allowing you to stay informed without being consumed by negativity.

11. Use Social Media for Good

Make a conscious choice to use social media platforms to encourage, uplift, and spread positive messages, rather than to harp on others, spread gossip, or appease frustration. Leverage your platform to foster kindness and humanity, resisting the urge to spread hate or bitterness.

12. ‘Go High’ with Your Platform

When you have a platform or influence, choose to ‘go high’ by harnessing your power to inspire and unite, rather than to rile people up or spread hateful messages. This approach models strength and responsibility, especially for the next generation.

13. Share Positive Social Stories

Actively seek out and share examples of moral goodness and positive actions you witness, whether it’s a personal story or something observed in the world. This practice helps counteract the negativity bias and allows for ‘social savoring,’ inspiring hope in others.

14. Limit 24/7 News Cycle Exposure

Consciously reduce the amount of time spent consuming the 24/7 news cycle, recognizing that you can remain informed with significantly less screen time. This protects your positive emotional state and prevents constant exposure to negative information from overwhelming your mental bandwidth.

15. Gain Historical Perspective

When facing difficult times, gain psychological distance by remembering that humanity has overcome awful situations historically. This perspective helps fight cynicism by showing that things can and do get better, fostering a sense of hope for future change.

16. Mentor and Coach Others

Engage in mentoring or coaching, as helping young people or others can provide a fantastic, warm feeling and a sense of purpose. This act of giving back not only benefits those you mentor but also significantly boosts your own happiness and fulfillment.