To feel more loved, focus on changing the way you interact in relationships rather than trying to change yourself or the other person. This approach is within your control and can initiate a positive cycle where making others feel loved leads to you feeling loved.
Approach conversations with the mindset of helping the other person feel loved by listening carefully and communicating genuine interest. This sets off a positive cycle where their feeling loved encourages them to reciprocate, ultimately making you feel more loved.
To feel truly loved, open up about your authentic self, including insecurities and flaws, rather than presenting a curated image. Start small by revealing minor struggles and gradually deepen your sharing, as vulnerability, when paced correctly, tends to increase connection and likability.
Retrain your mind to listen with the intent to genuinely understand, as if you’ll be quizzed on the details later, rather than rehearsing your own response. Follow up with questions that show you were truly listening and gained insight, making the other person feel seen and valued.
Develop genuine interest in other people by focusing on them as individuals, not just topics. Ask questions about their experiences, feelings, and how they got into their interests, which expands your own perspective and strengthens the connection.
Adopt a mindset of genuine caring, kindness, and generosity towards others, always giving them the benefit of the doubt and interpreting their actions in the most positive light. This not only improves relationships but also significantly boosts your own happiness and well-being, with benefits lasting for months.
Recognize that everyone has multiple facets, including shortcomings and weaknesses, and strive to be accepting and loving towards these flaws. Offer benign interpretations for negative actions and remember that a single mistake doesn’t define a person, which helps others feel loved and accepted.
Overcome the ‘illusion of transparency’ by articulating your thoughts, feelings, and experiences clearly, even in long-term relationships. Others cannot read your mind, and being explicit helps them understand and connect with your true self.
In close relationships, establish a daily ritual, like asking ‘how was your day?’, but commit to going into it deeply. Make it a priority to ask follow-up questions and truly engage, rather than just recounting facts and moving on to other tasks.
Avoid assuming you fully know someone, even in long-term relationships, because people are always changing. Maintain curiosity by regularly asking deeper questions about their new experiences, thoughts, doubts, fears, and dreams to keep the connection fresh and meaningful.
To make others feel valued and interested, remember their passions and ask them specific questions about topics they genuinely love to discuss. This simple act makes them excited and fosters a stronger connection.
Extend the open-hearted and multiplicity mindsets to yourself by having compassion for your own shortcomings and weaknesses. Self-love opens you up to receiving love from others more genuinely, as it reduces suspicion and allows you to see their kindness as authentic.
When you feel judgmental about someone’s actions, consciously short-circuit that response. Instead, immediately activate curiosity by asking yourself why they might have acted that way, or imagine them as a young child, to foster a more understanding and less critical perspective.
Understand that applying these strategies is a gradual, long-term process, not a quick fix. Consistent effort over time is required to see significant changes in how loved you feel and the strength of your connections.
If, after consistent and genuine effort to apply these mindsets, a person still doesn’t respond, share, or reciprocate, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. This could involve pausing, walking away, or accepting the relationship as it is, possibly after making it a topic of conversation.