← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How to Fail at Work

Oct 17, 2024 42m 38s 15 insights
<p>You can't alway win at work. We all have career setbacks and disappointments - and learning how to deal with them is vital. We need to move on from our mistakes, accept that we're not superhuman, and be willing to see failure as the price of experimenting and taking risks.</p> <p>Former news anchor Dan Harris (of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/10-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821">10% Happier with Dan Harris</a> and <a href="https://www.danharris.com/">DanHarris.com</a>) joins Dr Laurie Santos to discuss the things that have gone wrong in his work life (he had a panic attack live on national TV) - and the ways in which we can reframe how we greet our career failures. </p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>
Actionable Insights

1. Reframe Failure as Experimentation

Reframe ‘failure’ as ’experimentation’ to overcome perfectionism, be willing to take risks, and learn from outcomes without shame. This allows for growth and learning from every experience.

2. Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Adopt a growth mindset by adding the word ‘yet’ to statements about things not working out. This reframes setbacks as temporary, allowing for future success and continuous learning.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Talk to yourself like a good friend rather than an inner drill sergeant, using an ‘inner coach’ mindset. This approach makes you more effective, improves performance, and leads to better health outcomes in the face of conflict.

4. Allow Negative Emotions

Allow and sit with negative emotions instead of pushing them away, using slogans like ‘It’s okay’ or ‘Let it be.’ This counterintuitive skill helps you weather internal storms without being owned by them, leading to better decisions.

5. Embrace Radical Optimism

Adopt radical optimism, believing that progress is embedded in failure if you are willing to learn from it. This evidence-based approach acknowledges that even if a project doesn’t work, you will have learned for the next endeavor.

6. Identify Underlying Emotions

When experiencing strong emotions like anger, sit with them to identify the underlying true emotion, such as fear. Anger is often a secondary emotion, and understanding what’s truly going on is crucial for resolution.

7. Make Failure a Team Sport

Navigate failure successfully by making it a ’team sport’ and having people you can talk to about your experiences. This provides support and perspective, aiding in processing setbacks.

8. Take Responsibility for Failures

Take responsibility for your failures, acknowledging your part in difficult situations. This approach is crucial for processing events and moving forward effectively.

9. Distance from Unhelpful Beliefs

Use distancing strategies, such as referring to unhelpful fears as ‘ancestral beliefs’ or using your own name in self-talk. This helps you see beliefs as separate from objective truth, allowing you to choose whether they serve you.

10. Prioritize Core Well-being

Focus on fundamental well-being practices like engaging in social connection, exercising, and prioritizing sleep. These behavioral changes are essential for combating burnout and building resilience.

11. Seek Professional Therapy

Engage in therapy to address underlying mental health issues or significant life challenges. Professional guidance can help diagnose problems and provide strategies for long-term well-being.

12. Eliminate Harmful Habits

Quit harmful habits, such as drug use, especially if they are impacting your mental or physical health. Such habits can alter brain chemistry and make you more susceptible to issues like panic attacks.

13. Share Personal Flaws Openly

Be open about your personal flaws and imperfections. This practice helps to normalize other people’s struggles and fosters a sense of ‘cathartic normalization’.

14. Recognize Affective Forecasting Error

Understand that bad events are rarely as bad as you predict them to be, due to your mind’s coping mechanisms. This awareness can reduce the fear of failure and help you realize you’ll likely be okay.

15. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Avoid self-criticism and self-pity when you experience setbacks or failures. It’s hard to ‘fail fast’ and pivot quickly if you are stuck in a cycle of self-blame and negative self-talk.