Engage in direct conversations with individuals you disagree with, as human interaction is crucial for seeing them as people again and can significantly shift perspectives, even on fraught political topics.
When discussing contentious topics, share personal stories and lived experiences that explain how and why you came to your beliefs, rather than lecturing or trying to persuade, to foster understanding and shatter preconceived ideas.
In conversations, especially those involving disagreement, ask deep questions to show genuine interest in the other person’s experiences and perspectives, making them feel heard and encouraging thoughtful reflection on their own views.
Enter conversations with the primary goal of learning from the other person’s perspective, rather than solely aiming to persuade them, as people are often more interested in learning than we give them credit for.
Strive to see the world with nuance rather than in rigid black-and-white terms, as this allows for a more accurate understanding of complex situations and people, moving beyond simple ‘good guy’/‘bad guy’ narratives.
Bring humility to your own views, recognizing that you may not always be entirely ‘right’ and that your perspectives, like others’, have the capacity to evolve and change over time.
Actively remember and acknowledge how much your own views and beliefs have changed over time, as conveniently forgetting past beliefs (progressive amnesia) prevents you from understanding others’ capacity for change.
Reflect on how your own beliefs have evolved to foster empathy for others, recognizing that they too have the capacity for growth and changing their views, rather than being stuck in ‘antiquated’ thinking.
Actively correct your inaccurate perceptions of political rivals by seeking out actual data, as simply understanding how much you overestimate their extremism and hatefulness can reduce your own support for conflict and increase your desire for peace.
Acknowledge that you likely agree with the vast majority of people on more fundamental issues and values than your mind initially suggests, which can facilitate more agreeable disagreements and reveal common ground.
Actively look for common ground in political discussions and with those you disagree with, as there is often more agreement on fundamental issues and shared values (like peace and democracy) than commonly realized.
Find ways to disagree with others while maintaining agreeable interactions, as this approach can lead to greater personal happiness, healthier relationships, and a more productive way to engage in conflict.
Recognize that conflict itself is not inherently bad and can be important and helpful, but ‘high conflict’ or ‘intractable conflict’ (conflict for its own sake) is the problem to be avoided.
Refrain from rigidly dividing the world into ‘us’ and ’them,’ as this causes a loss of peripheral vision, makes you miss people who don’t fit these clean categories, and is the first step towards problematic high conflict.
Do not stereotype other groups as the enemy or engage in zero-sum thinking, where one side’s win necessitates the other’s loss, as this fuels emotional polarization and makes violent conflict more likely.
To find what truly makes you happy and point yourself in the right direction, understand the science of the mind, as your own mind might be lying to you and leading you away from genuine happiness.
Study and follow people who have successfully navigated through dysfunctional conflict to healthier states, as their experiences can provide valuable insights into how to improve your own approach to disagreement.
When engaging in justice and equity work, approach those who hold differing views with empathy, understanding that they may have been exposed to only one narrative, which should influence your approach to the work.
Actively pursue opportunities for connection with others, recognizing that most people desire more connection and less division than the current polarized environment suggests, and that there is a hunger for these types of connections.
Refrain from cynically dismissing everyone you disagree with as ‘awful,’ as this mindset exacerbates problems, prevents progress, and makes our problems only get worse.
Avoid writing off or giving up on people on the ‘other side’ of an issue, as doing so relinquishes the possibility of improvement, prevents things from getting better, and leaves common ground undiscovered.
Open your mind and pay closer attention to others’ perspectives and the data about what people truly want, as this can help rediscover shared desires, mend divisions, and potentially increase your happiness.