Recognize that major disruptions in life can accelerate internal transformation, uncovering unexpected insights, abilities, and perspectives about yourself. This empowers you to shape the person you become in response to new circumstances.
Instead of asking ‘How the hell am I going to navigate this change?’, ask ‘How will I, with potentially new capabilities and perspectives and values, navigate this change?’ This reframes the challenge by acknowledging your potential for growth.
Define yourself not just by what you do, but by why you do it (e.g., loving emotional connection, self-improvement). Anchoring your identity to these core values provides a stable compass for finding new outlets to express yourself during change.
Gradually build your tolerance for uncertainty and lessen your desperate need for cognitive closure, especially when clear answers are unavailable. This long-term practice helps tame rumination, which often arises from resisting uncertainty, and fosters a healthier way to embrace change.
Actively conjure up and question your ‘possible selves’ (hoped-for, feared, expected) to broaden your imagination beyond current circumstances. This helps you identify new potential identities and motivates you to make changes.
Actively shift your mental spotlight towards aspects of yourself that you value and are not threatened by the current change (e.g., community, spiritual life, hobbies). This helps you zoom out, see your life through a bigger picture lens, and reduces the intensity of the threat by reminding you your identity doesn’t solely depend on what’s threatened.
Recognize your suffering, mindfully engage with your emotions, and understand that what you’re feeling is part of a shared human experience. This helps reduce shame by interpreting events as things that happened to you, rather than because of you.
Experience ‘moral elevation’ by witnessing someone else’s extraordinary actions (kindness, resilience, courage). This challenges your understanding of human capabilities, cracks open your imagination, and helps you envision new possibilities for yourself.
Actively seek out new information by watching documentaries, reading articles, and having conversations to open your mind to a world of possibilities. This helps challenge existing beliefs about yourself and discover new paths.
When facing a loss or transition, remember that you haven’t lost all the skills you built (e.g., grit, tolerance for failure, love of learning). Identify these transferable skills as they will be relevant in whatever you choose to do moving forward.
Write to yourself with kindness and concern, objectively describing your feelings, and brainstorming ways others may have endured similar situations. This practice significantly reduces shame and fosters self-compassion.
Look outwards and help other people, such as volunteering. This allows you to see your value and positive mark on others, boosting your self-concept and feeling connected to a larger community.
Engage in experiences that evoke awe, such as listening to captivating music or observing vast natural phenomena. Awe prompts you to revise assumptions, decreases self-focus, and provides perspective by internalizing your part in a larger whole.
Take a step back and identify specific negative emotions you’re experiencing by giving them distinct labels (e.g., frustration, despair, envy). Naming emotions fosters psychological distance, shifting your perspective from being the emotion to simply having the emotion.
Travel forwards or backwards in time mentally to gain perspective on present challenges. Remind yourself of past resolve or imagine how you’ll feel about a problem in five hours, days, or years to see its transient nature and reduce emotional energy.
When self-critical or ruminating, advise yourself with the same compassion and objective distance you would offer a friend. This allows for kinder self-talk and a more balanced perspective on your problems.
Acknowledge that you will change considerably in the future, just as you have in the past, rather than believing you are a ‘finished product.’ This helps you understand that a different person will navigate future experiences, making change less daunting.