Cultivate a growth mindset, acknowledging that becoming a good person and ally requires continuous work and learning from mistakes, rather than assuming your moral identity is fixed. This allows for improvement and sustained engagement in social justice.
Let go of the need to be seen as a “good person” and instead strive to be “good-ish,” meaning you never assume you are good enough and are always looking for ways to learn and identify blind spots. This higher standard encourages continuous self-improvement and humility.
When you inevitably make a mistake as an ally, immediately own the harm caused by saying “I am sorry” without caveats like “if you were offended.” This demonstrates accountability and a commitment to learning and doing better in the future.
Be willing to intentionally take on discomfort in the fight against injustice, recognizing it as a necessary step. This approach is crucial for building a genuinely happier and fairer world for all, as marginalized groups do not get to avoid it.
Resist the urge to deny or downplay your privileges by fabricating hardships when confronted with the greater obstacles faced by marginalized groups. This helps overcome “motivated reasoning” and fosters a more honest self-assessment of your position.
Unless you directly experience oppression, you must actively “shine an ultraviolet light” and look for systemic inequalities. This is necessary because these structures are often invisible to those not directly affected, requiring intentional effort to see them.
It’s not enough to simply not be racist; actively confront and acknowledge the biases and assumptions you’ve internalized from growing up in an unjust society. This helps move from passive belief to active anti-racism.
Recognize that the urge to be seen as unprejudiced and the fear of saying the wrong thing can prevent you from taking action. Push past this discomfort to engage more effectively, as any comment is better than silence.
Recognize that non-marginalized individuals often have more influence when calling out bigotry. Use this “ordinary privilege” to speak up, as it can be more effective and reduce the burden on marginalized groups.
When using your privilege, do not center yourself; instead, amplify what marginalized individuals are saying, create space for them to be heard, and then step aside. This ensures their voices are heard without being overshadowed.
Even awkward comments are better than silence when someone is affected by injustice; a simple “Are you okay?” and a hug can make a significant difference. This shows you see and acknowledge their experience, preventing feelings of isolation.
Step out of your comfort bubble and engage with people from different identities and experiences, even if it feels exhausting or requires explaining your lived reality. This broadens understanding and builds empathy.
When faced with challenging topics or actions related to allyship, reframe the difficulty as an opportunity to learn and grow. This helps maintain engagement rather than running away from complex issues.
Move off the sidelines and get involved in social justice issues by picking an issue, reading and studying it, finding an organization, and volunteering. Even a small start contributes to addressing systemic oppression.
Engage in allyship as a selfless act, without seeking rewards or “cookies” from the marginalized group you’re trying to help. This prevents creating more emotional labor for them and keeps the focus on the cause itself.
Embrace the discomfort that comes with fighting injustice, as it can lead to personal growth, strength, and a profound sense of purpose and happiness. This provides an unexpected personal reward for doing good.
Don’t just believe in justice; actively work to counter bigotry and violence that affects many identities daily. This is necessary to create a happier and more equitable society for all.
Move beyond just believing in diversity and inclusion by actively building skills and acquiring tools to translate beliefs into action. This transforms you from a “believer” into a “builder” of a more just world.
To foster a growth mindset, remind yourself that you can change by adding “yet” to your self-assessment, e.g., “I’m not a good person yet, but I can be if I put in some work.” This simple technique promotes willingness to engage and improve.
Despite historical oppression and current challenges, maintain hope that significant positive change is possible if collective effort and determination are applied. This long-term perspective fuels sustained engagement in the struggle for justice.