Understand and practice etiquette as a means of treating people with respect, tolerance, compassion, civility, charm, and grace, which makes interactions more pleasant and creates a better world.
Consistently treat people with respect, even when the world around is uncertain, and strive to raise the standard of behavior for everyone, including those in higher office.
Adopt etiquette as a framework to navigate uncertain times, as it provides parameters and clarifies expectations, offering a sense of structure and confidence in social situations.
Employ good etiquette and manners to be inclusive and bring people together, as it helps everyone understand what to do and what is expected, making social interactions smoother and more welcoming.
Express gratitude through handwritten thank you letters, as the effort involved in putting pen to paper and mailing it makes them more powerful and impactful than quick digital messages, often yielding significant ‘brownie points’.
Incorporate “please” and “thank you” into your interactions frequently, even with smart speakers, to keep the politeness muscle honed and show appreciation, as you cannot say them enough.
Make an effort to use people’s names as much as possible when interacting with them, as hearing one’s own name releases a “happiness valve” and improves responsiveness and connection.
Consistently make eye contact with people when you talk to them, especially during greetings, as it shows engagement and respect.
In Western cultures, execute a good handshake by making eye contact, locking fingers and thumb, and delivering two firm but not overly strong pumps.
Follow dress codes and other expectations when invited to an event, as it honors the host’s effort and the friendship, rather than disrespecting their wishes.
Employ etiquette in planning events, such as considering seating or napkins, to create pauses and allow for anticipation and savoring, which boosts happiness and enjoyment.
When hosting, ensure a comfortable environment for your guests by not over-inviting for your space and providing adequate seating, rather than trying to cram too many people in.
Put effort into creating an inviting table and room setting for guests, as a well-considered presentation helps them feel more welcome and relaxed, contributing to good hospitality.
Always provide a clean table, cutlery, and glassware for guests, as visible fingerprints or grubby items are unappetizing and unhygienic.
When playing music at a social gathering, keep the volume very low in the background, as loud music can be distracting and the best soundtrack is people chatting and laughing.
When entertaining, remember that the food doesn’t have to be homemade or phenomenal; it can be bought in or simply passable, as the social connection is more important than culinary perfection.
When expressing complaints, aim for a minimum two-to-one ratio of positive comments to negative ones, balancing criticism with appreciation.
Acquire a collection of cloth napkins of various sizes, as they are more pleasant and refined than paper alternatives, and different sizes serve different purposes in etiquette.
If opting for paper napkins instead of cloth, choose thicker, multi-ply varieties available in stores, as they are more pleasant than flimsy alternatives.
If presented with unfamiliar food and unsure how to eat it, don’t hesitate to politely ask your host for suggestions on the best way to enjoy it.
When unsure about etiquette in a social setting, subtly observe what others are doing, as their actions can provide guidance on expected behavior.
Refrain from putting your elbows on the table during a formal meal, as it was historically to prevent tipping trestle tables and practically makes eating with a knife and fork difficult due to misaligned angles.
Remember the “BMW” mnemonic (Bread on Left, Meal in Middle, Wine on Right) to correctly identify your bread plate and avoid taking someone else’s.
Offer to pull out chairs for anyone you are sitting next to, regardless of their gender identity, as a gesture of politeness and a nod to historical necessity.
When arranging seating, balance the gender distribution across the table to avoid clusters of any particular gender, ensuring a more dynamic and inclusive social environment.
Seat married couples slightly apart at dinner parties to encourage them to talk to other guests and enjoy a change of conversation, rather than solely interacting with their spouse.
Seat engaged couples next to each other at dinner parties to allow them to have private conversations and get to know each other better, as historical courtship was less informal.
When hosting, seat the guest of honor to the host’s immediate right, a tradition stemming from historical necessity where one would draw a sword from the left hip to protect the person on their right.
If struggling to write a thank you letter, seek inspiration from examples or even AI tools to help determine length and tone, as some form of gratitude is better than none.